Monday, June 11, 2007


Welcome, Carnival of Breastfeeding Readers! This month's carnival theme is dedicated to Fathers. The following is my submission - the other carnival participants are listed below it. Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments or if you decide to write about it yourself on your own site, let me know in the comments, so I can check it out!

In December of 2004, my husband and I decided to start trying to have a baby. By the end of January 2005, I was peeing on home pregnancy tests in disbelief. I'd been told for 9 years by my doctors that I might have trouble conceiving (some were downright negative about it), but per usual with fertility, you really don't know until you actually begin with The Trying. Therefore, we were overjoyed that it happened so easily, so quickly. Before our marriage, I suspected that Manoj would be a good father, but honestly - does a woman ever marry her husband thinking he would not be a good father? And I'll admit, I felt like I had an extra Parental Ace up my sleeve because Manoj is from India. In my experience, all the Indian fathers I know are totally into that "All Up In Their Kid's Business" stuff. For the most part, children are the center of everything when it comes to Indian families. I knew this when I married my husband and fully appreciate it now that we have a child together.

Manoj has never made me feel fat and pregnant, even when I AM fat and pregnant (um, how about right NOW?) He was all on board with the breastfeeding and never suggested giving up. We still chuckle over a very Tense Moment when I was nursing Arun on one side and he held the breast pump on the other side - I was so engorged it was a bit comical. He felt so bad for me in those early days and helplessly kept asking if there was anything he could do. He's never bemoaned the fact that my breasts have pretty much been "out of action" for Adult Activities for nearly two years now. He was the one who pushed co-sleeping, thought Ferber was a fool, refused to use our stroller and still carries our son everywhere instead (even through a 3 hour trek at the zoo). And he thinks weaning a baby at 12 Months Sharp is silly - if a kid needs more time, why push it? Manoj didn't even care that our kid wouldn't take a bottle and instead, when I was hanging out with friends he would bring Arun to me for nursing so that I could still get a little time away. It turns out, my fancy business-attired, Ferragamo-wearing husband is more Granola than I had given him credit.

Often, Manoj will take our son Arun for walks to our neighborhood park that is about 3-4 blocks away. I haven't been going much this year with them because that is pushing the limits of my 35 Weeks Pregnant Bladder, so generally I let them go on their own while I get some things done around the house. Last night, my bladder and I threw caution to the wind and we went with them. All along the walk, Manoj and Arun would stop to do a variety of activities that have become part of their routine - stopping for special trees, greeting certain dogs behind fences, pausing by a particular house that has a KU Jayhawk statue (folks, the hazing of my alma mater starts EARLY). I felt like I had been granted access into their secret, special time together and it was simply beautiful to witness it. And it was totally worth the mounting protest my bladder subjected me to on the way back during that last block and a half.

This year for Mother's day and Father's day, we decided to skip the flowers, ties and gifts in general. Instead, we are pooling the money we would have spent on gifts and are parlaying it into a Fancy Dinner with menu items that will have me running for the spell checker. It was actually my idea because this year, I wanted to celebrate this parental partnership we have created. It's not just about ME as a mother and HIM as a father.

In the end, it's about US and this little unit we've created together.

Be sure to check out the other cool bloggers writing about Fathers and their role in this Baby Business.......

Breastfeeding 1-2-3: A Father's Take on Breastfeeding Perception vs. Reality
Breastfeeding Mums: My Hubby, My Best Breastfeeding Friend!
Mama Knows Breast: Dads and Breastfeeding. My Husband, My Co-Author.
Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: Proud to be the Father of a Breastfed Baby
The Lactivist: Fathers and Breastfeeding, The Importance of Seconds.

Crunchy Domestic Goddess: My Hubby, the Lactivist
Hepatitis-EPI: A Father's Support
Down With the Kids: Mother's Milk - A Dad's Perspective

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