I Suspect There Has Been a Coverup

Yet again, a nursing mother has been harassed for not covering while breastfeeding.

Cheryl Cruz, who as of Friday was still on vacation in Florida, said she took her children, including her 10-month-old daughter, Kalli, to Universal on Wednesday when she was approached by an employee. "We were just in the park sitting down and I was breast-feeding Kalli, and a park employee came over and said to me I have to cover up or I will be escorted out of Universal Studios," Cruz said. Cruz said a group of security guards surrounded her and she felt scared, humiliated and belittled.

I think long-time readers will remember that I used to be an advocate of covering up. "Cover thyself", I used to preach. Then, I went on to give birth to my 2nd child and ultimately, my brain. Having a baby in July meant that half the time, I forgot to pack a light blanket whenever I left the house. And I also quickly realized that covering with a blanket IN JULY actually brought more attention to me. I also realized that even while whipping out my maternal goods to feed my baby, I was still more covered up than most of the pretty young things prancing around in bikini tops, tank tops and shortie short shorts.

Besides, what kind of freak covers up with a blanket in JULY? Not me.

Anymore, that is.

Size Matters

My daughter is 3.5 months old. Last week, she weighed 14 lbs, 15 oz. Whee! I am so excited that she is gaining weight at such a steady pace. It is still amazing to me that my body provided that sustenance for her.

However.

I am frequently getting comments about her weight, how she looks "bigger" for her age, how she is a "big girl", how she will "slim down" once she starts crawling. Why does this bother me?

Because she only weighs one ounce more than my son at the same age. ONE ounce!

Yet, I rarely got such comments about my son's weight. Oh no, folks commented on his hair, his big eyes or how healthy and husky he was. Rarely about his weight.

Good grief - my poor girl is just over 3 months old and already has to worry about her waistline?? This after I was told by a variety of folks throughout my pregnancy that Anjali would probably weigh less than Arun since girls are "always smaller".

I am calling bullshit on this.

Hair. Here, There, Everywhere.

Yessiree, folks. It is that time of the Post-Partum Year. You are innocently taking a shower, minding your own damned business while rinsing conditioner out of your hair when you notice that big, huge, clumps of your lovely locks are also being rinsed. And even though this is my 2nd go around with this, it is still a little horrifying. Oh My God. There is hair EVERYWHERE. Fortunately, this is perfectly normal at around 3-4 months post-partum and it is NOT caused by breastfeeding, either. According to Kellymom,

Postpartum hair loss is a normal - and temporary - postpartum change that is unrelated to breastfeeding. Most women will return to their usual hair growth cycle between 6 and 12 months after birth.

In other news, there is a wonderful article about co-sleeping titled Shhh...My Child Is Sleeping (in My Bed, Um, With Me)" in the New York Times. As it states, co-sleeping:

".....is far more common than many people think. Nearly 13 percent of parents in the United States slept with their infants in 2000, up from 5.5 percent in 1993, according to a report last month in the journal Infant and Child Development. Countless children start the night in their own beds, only to wake up a few hours later and pad into their parents’ bedrooms, crawling into the bed or curling up nearby on the floor.

Ask parents if they sleep with their kids, and most will say no. But there is evidence that the prevalence of bed sharing is far greater than reported. Many parents are “closet co-sleepers,” fearful of disapproval if anyone finds out, notes James J. McKenna, professor of anthropology and director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame."

This was a pretty standard, catch-all co-sleeping article, but I thought it was still interesting to read. In particular, I LOVE the title and the fact that it addressed the perceived shame/embarrassment parents feel when having to "admit" they co-sleep. I still suffer a bit from this embarrassment, even 2 years later.

Also, I would like to clarify something - yes, I am a huge co-sleeping advocate. However, I cannot claim that co-sleeping is always easy. It is not. There are some nights when I wish my kids would just sleep by themselves already. Furthermore, we are having a tremendous amount of trouble getting my son to sleep these days. Let me stress the "getting to sleep" part, once he is asleep, he is doing fine. It is the "getting there" that is pushing us to some dark, dark places. It could be a lot of things - he is hitting a developmental explosion of language. He is cutting some molars. He has a new sister. He just started a Mother's Day Out program a month ago. And he is two. Did I mention that? I am not sure what the solution is, but I will say that co-sleeping has totally saved our sanity. It is hard enough to deal with all of this, I cannot imagine doing it sleep deprived.

Nutrionally Deficient

Bah Humbug. This is like the 3rd or 4th time that I have heard Allison Sweeney, the Days of Our Lives star and host of the Biggest Loser, go on and on about infant nutrition and in the same breath mention Gerber. Coincidence? No, she is a spokesperson for Gerber. For example, in the interview, she says:

He almost never has processed sugar, but we always have fresh fruits around. And I love that the Graduates snacks are his favorites because they are so easy to take with me on the go, because it's also important to have a snack available so that a) he doesn't get moody! And b) we aren't stuck with needing to get fast-food.

and

Ben loves peas and corn. Gerber taught me that you have to let them try foods at least 10 times if not more before they might grow to like certain foods, so not to give up too easily.

I wish I had something profound to say, but I do not. I simply find it sad and false for a celebrity to use what is purported to be a personal interview as a vehicle to pimp a product.

Breastfeeding Style

In one of my favorite Wise Baby Tomes, Baby 411, the author explains 5 different breastfeeding styles on page 100:
1. The Barracuda - This little guy attacks the breast and gets down to business. Mom's nipples sometimes pay the price for this style. Be prepared.

2. The Excited Ineffective - Yes, this is the baby who is so excited to eat that he loses his latch. Calming, then reattempting to latch helps until baby figures out the routine.

3. The Procrastinator - The baby who waits until the milk lets down to bother with eating. There is no rush. Be patient and keep trying.

4. The Gourmet - She must mouth the nipples, have a taste test, then begin. Again, there is no need to rush. Let her do her thing.

5. The Rester - He takes his own sweet time. He eats for a few minutes, rests, then continues. He will eventually finish the meal and eat well but you can encourage him by rubbing his back or head.

My son was a Barracuda. He always got right down to business and ate quite quickly. Anjali? Um, not so much. She is definitely a Rester. Couple this with the fact that she likes to comfort nurse and basically, she would be happy to just suck ALL DAY LONG. It's been an adjustment for me, to say the least. There's been several times when I've pulled her off and got ready to head out the door when she made it quite clear that she was NOT done eating. I am still learning that I need to give her PLENTY o' time to do her business.


Totally Tangential: Regarding Wise Baby Tomes, I also swear by Toddler 411. Toddler 411 continues where Baby 411 leaves off - hands down, these two books are the ones I would own if I could only have two. They have absolutely everything you need for your child up to about kindergarten in 2 concise volumes that are easy to read, entertaining (you'll laugh out loud) and most importantly, are conveniently organized as a reference tool. The overall tone of these two books is that of a "Hey, you'll be okay, Grasshopper." -- a tone that is comforting and reassuring.

My other favorite parenting tome is the excellent The Science of Parenting - I enjoy this book because I am fascinated by the biology of what's going on with babies and toddlers. There are often valid reasons for what they do simply because their little brains and nervous systems are still developing, yet we desperately want them to act like little, logical adults. This book goes a long way in explaining why parents need to manage their expectations regarding what their Precious Progeny is actually capable of doing at their particular developmental stages.

The Little Things

Around Friday, I could definitely detect a downswing in my mood. No, I'm not talking post-partum depression, but I was afraid I was facing a case of the Baby Blues. It hasn't gotten too bad and I am just trying to keep on top of it so that it doesn't get the best of me. How do I do that? It's the little things. Everyday, I make a few goals for myself - it might be just a small laundry list of household chores and errands, but for me, having a definable list of things to do makes me feel good. To accomplish a small set of things allows me to relax later in the day when they are finished. I also bought a load of Choxie Chocolates when I was at Target - quality chocolate for not a large price. They come in small packages, so I don't go overboard - a few pieces here and there with a glass of milk is a treat, but not a guilt-laden one. On Saturday, I bought some flowers - nothing expensive, they were $9 and the type to last at least a week. I am doing my best to keep the house reasonably clean because I know a mess gets me down - really DOWN. I've been scheduling outings with friends and family. I've also been carving time for my favorite hobbies that relax me - my books and my knitting. Conversely, I've limited my TV time and let the DVR fill up because I know that TV generally doesn't make me feel good.

And most importantly, I am making a point to just sit and hang out with my kids. When I am breastfeeding, I really use that time to talk to my son (even if he is watching TV, I'll talk about what is going on in the program), read books to him or just snuggle with both of them. This is when I really, really appreciate being able to exclusively breastfeed, because it forces me to sit down and focus on my kids. The dishes, laundry and the bazillion other things can wait.

So, no - I don't see post-partum depression lingering, but possibly some garden-variety Baby Blues. This happened with my son and I know from experience that it needs to be cut at the quick before it takes over. And for me, it's the little things that keep my head above water while I tread the current moves me to safer water.

Trapped, Wrapped

I really appreciated the honesty in the comments in my "Trapped" post. Unfortunately, I honed in on the breastfeeding aspect without looking at the big picture. Your comments made me think more about the issue and what I take for granted - the fact that I do feel comfortable nursing in public and that I am a bit of a homebody anyway.

Oh, and talk about feeling trapped. I've been trying to write this post for some time now and have written most of it with my left hand only at a snail's pace since my right arm has been occupied for most of the afternoon. And holy cow. The other kid just woke up as the new kid just fell asleep. Trapped? Perhaps.

By the way, I like my crow with a side of garlic roasted mashed potatoes, please.

One day at a time.

Today is one of those days where both kids are totally tag teaming me. Seriously. It's not that bad, but it's rare that I have both hands free enough to actually TYPE.

Something meandering in my brain is this:
I was reading a blog of a 20 something gal who is really cool. She was posting about her co-worker keeping breastmilk in the lunchroom fridge and the blogger was seriously grossed out by it. I replied (politely, I think) that it could be considered that cow's milk could be just as gross - have you ever been to a dairy farm? I had a grade school friend who lived on one and I can report there's some nasty stuff going on with the whole bovine thing. Now, if you also read this blogger, please don't mention who it is because I don't want loads of folks flocking to her site (I am emailing her to tell about this post, so NO, there's nothing passive aggressive going on here either), but I think it definitely highlights how serious the Ick Factor is for the general public regarding breastfeeding. The whole thing made me sad.

And sadder yet to realize I probably would have had the same reaction in my swingin' single girl days.

damn. i am back to one-handed typing now.

Should prescriptions be required for formula?

Allison over at The Attached Mother has some great thoughts about the whole "should prescriptions be required for formula?" question. I agree with her that requiring a prescription would a little too "militant". And I love her recommendation that some sort of questionnaire be given to mothers to find out why they are quitting. This could go a long way in helping the breastfeeding community determine how we can best support breastfeeding mothers.

But requiring a prescription? I'd never support that. Make no mistake about it, I have no love at all for the companies that produce and market formula. I've made it no secret that their aggressive marketing tactics make me angry, particularly in 3rd countries. But I don't necessarily fault a mother for using formula. Yeah, I think formula is crap, but I'll admit it here in front of the world that my kid has had a McDonald's cheeseburger. Or two. Besides, if we start requiring prescriptions for formula, where else could that lead us? I know folks disagree with me for not having gates on my stairs and that weird molding crap on my fireplace hearth. Even co-sleeping is still a bit controversial and I've had more than one person get all squinty-eyed on me as if I was putting my child in mortal danger.

So, no. No prescriptions please.

The Pacifier

GAWD. I'm already tired of me. I guess I thought I was more interesting or something.............

Pacifiers
When my son was born, I had it all planned. We'd use a pacifier for the 1st few months, then he could suck his thumb if he wanted. After all, this strategy had worked swell for my sister - why not me? What I didn't count on was the fact that my son would rather not suck on a hunk of plastic. He'd rather suck on me. And I didn't mind. We were co-sleeping anyway and whatever garnered us the most amount of sleep was the Official Plan going forward. The end.

Yeah, RIGHT. Okay, it wasn't actually THAT easy. He took a pacifier for the first few days, then I got paranoid about Nipple Confusion and took them away to wait for the recommended 3 weeks. THEN, he wouldn't take pacifier any longer and THEN, I went through a lot of pacifiers trying to find the One that would win over my son's heart. It was very hard to put him down for naps because he didn't have any mechanisms for self-comfort. Sure, he'd co-sleep at NIGHT, but naptime he wouldn't sleep with me, despite my best efforts. So, the first 10 months were HARD - nighttime sleep was a breeze, but naps were killing me. KILLING.... ME....... And not softly, either. I may have spent most nights sleeping peacefully, but the afternoons found me sobbing on my couch, stuffing my face with Choxie chocolates and lamenting my woes to my sister.

However.

The advantage is that my son DID eventually find ways to self-soothe. And we've never had to deal with weaning him for a pacifier or a thumb. Which leads me to think that I probably won't even try the pacifier with my daughter. Why bother if I can just suck it up?

Of course, I say that NOW.

Breastfeeding during professional exams.

Mama Knows Breast brought up an interesting article the other day. It's about what happened to Sophie Currier of Brookline, Massachusetts. In short, to begin her medical residency this fall, Dr. Currier needs to complete her medical exam boards by August - the exam is 9 hours long and allows for breaks that come to a grand total of 45 minutes. And she is currently breastfeeding her 7 week old baby. Can you see where this is going? The board insists that she will only be allowed the allotted 45 minutes and no extra time will be granted to her. Should I bother mentioning the hypocrisy of a group of DOCTOR'S denying this woman the right to express milk during her exam? Is that too obvious?

I read this article and it spoke to me on a personal level. I am a licensed CPA and sat through a day and half's worth of long grueling exams in the process. During your breaks, you barely got enough time to eat and use the bathroom, much less put together the equipment necessary for pumping breastmilk, then storing it. Furthermore, when my son was 7 weeks old, I could NOT go more than 3 hours at a time without nursing or pumping during the dayime hours. It was physically painful with the engorgement and hello! Can you say Leaking Leaky McLeakerson with me?

I called the CPA exam board this afternoon to ask about their policy for breastfeeding mothers and was told the following:
The exam has changed since I've taken it. It's now anywhere from 2.5 to 4.5 hours and 30 minutes must be allowed for signing in. No breaks are allowed. A breastfeeding mother would need to submit an "ADA Modification form" to be allowed any extra break time for pumping. This is still not nearly as bad as Dr. Currier's situation, but I was still unimpressed with the CPA exam board's answer to my inquiry.

Let's just say that I am grateful that I have the CPA exam under my belt.

This post is not what you think it is.

Before I begin, let me state emphatically that I love and adore the site Ask Moxie. It's an awesome site chock full of sane, realistic parenting advice - all new mothers should read every single post of Moxie's about infant sleep habits (I have this one bookmarked at all times for easy reference - I wish I would have had this with my firstborn from the beginning). What attracts me most to her site is that hands down, Moxie has one of the greatest core of commenters out there. This is a site where I almost always take the time to read the comments if the topic applies to me.

Recently, two posts on her site have really got me thinking. I was really disappointed not in the posts themselves, but rather in some of the commenting going on. I am curious what all of you have to say.

In the first post, Are You Breastfeeding? a reader asks if he was wrong in asking a neighbor if she was breastfeeding her newborn. Another neighbor overheard the question and said “Your wife can ask that question but you as a man cannot.”

In the second post, "Are You Breastfeeding?" Response, Moxie follows up with some clearing up of the context of the question and asks if the previous commenters would change their answer. It turns out the guy knew the neighbor fairly well and had children himself. His breastfeeding question was posed more in a "commiserating" sort of tone.

What made me sad about many of the comments stating that "No, it's over the line to ask a new mother if she is breastfeeding" is that the comments ranged from Squeamish to Guilty. Here is my own comment to the second post:

I didn't get an answer in the first time because frankly, I had to "walk away" and think for awhile. Many of the comments just made me downright sad. Particularly, the ones that fell into the Squeamish or Guilt category.

There were many commenters who said they felt guilty for not being able to breastfeed and that's why the question bothered them. Then, there were many other commenters who were clearly skeeved by the idea of a man even asking about it.

Breastfeeding is only one of many questions that folks ask about new babies - I get all sorts of questions regarding diapers (cloth/disposable), sleeping (crib/co-sleeping), etc. Yes, many of these questions are tinged with Potential Judgment, but that's LIFE. There will always, always be someone lurking inthe corner waiting to point fingers and Judge.

Anyway, as a 37 week pregnant gal who will be breastfeeding again in a few weeks, my answer doesn't need context - I totally welcome any and all questions regarding breastfeeding. Until folks get more comfortable with the whole concept of a "baby sucking at one's breasts" we are going to continue reading news story after news story of women being kicked off of planes, asked to leave restaurants, kicked out of parks, pools and other public venues all because folks aren't "comfortable" with it. Again, not angry. Just sad. Very, very sad.

I think what is most disturbing is that it is very easy to dismiss most of the "anti-breastfeeding" commenters on other sites who are clearly uneducated and ignorant - I'm still shaking my head over the comments about Maggie Gyllenhaal and the mother in the Boca Raton restaurant. However, Moxie's site is different - these folks are clearly reasonable people and the overall tone of her site is moderation. In my experience, these are the normal folks we are encountering every day. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones talkin' and perhaps, I am over-reacting (something my husband can attest I am wont to do), but seriously.

Is asking a new mother if she is breastfeeding really out of line?

Co-Sleeping for $500, Alex

What does co-sleeping have to do with breastfeeding? Frankly, co-sleeping can make breastfeeding easier. When you co-sleep, instead of having to get up, muddle around in the dark while fumbling for your newborn, all you have to do is roll over, nurse, then roll back over and go back to sleep. That's it. Seriously. After awhile, you'll actually sleep while nursing. Oh sure, you might have to do a diaper change in the wee, early weeks, but as times goes on, you don't even have to bother with that.

Truthfully, I was going to do loads of research for this one. I was going to present a compelling argumentative dictate replete with propositions, negatives and affirmatives. Then, my inner collective got all whiny on me and said "But, I don't wannna!", so I decided to go Commando on this. What follows is merely my opinion and in addition, I've added a new category called "Ranty Pants". I'm not an expert, nor do I play one online. What prompted all this is that I came across another poorly written article that slams co-sleeping.

Okay, I'm not a co-sleeping advocate, but rather, I am a huge, colossal believer in that Good Parenting consists of gathering as many ideas as possible, then trying them out in different combinations until you find out what works for you, your partner, your child, your lifestyle. This concept of Ideas hit me like a nuclear bomb very, very early in my new life as a mother. While pregnant, I had everything planned out. Dude, I even had TIMELINES for some things. Then my son was born and I realized very quickly that babies aren't necessarily One Size Fits All. I had it all planned out that my son would sleep in the bassinet by our bed for the first 4 months, then he would transition to the crib. End of story, right? What I didn't count on was a baby who wanted to be near me ALL OF THE TIME. Crazy boy! What was he thinking? I'd already housed him for over 9 months and now this?

Fortunately, my doctor has a crunchity heart of Granola and even told me in the hospital that "We Westerners are the weird ones - the rest of the world is co-sleeping". Furthermore, my husband is from India, a land chock full of co-sleepers. My husband was the one who insisted with exasperation "just bring him to bed already." Folks, that exasperation was directed towards me and I will forever be grateful that I married someone who parents by instinct and not by books. Once I embraced co-sleeping, all was right with our world. It made breastfeeding SO MUCH easier, it eased my worries as a new mother (there was no getting up in the middle of the night to check his breathing) and we both slept peacefully. Once, I got the knack for breastfeeding while lying down, I was rarely sleep-deprived (this was at about 3 weeks or so). Not being sleep-deprived went a long, long way towards my mental health, folks. Furthermore, my son has always been a hard, solid sleeper at night - even when he transitioned to the crib (naps are another issue entirely and still are to this day. I spent a lot of afternoons crying, eating chocolate the first 6 months of his life). The transition to the crib happened gradually and wasn't necessarily planned, either. I eventually got him to nap in there, then I started putting him in there at the beginning of the night, then one evening when he was around 13 months old, I woke up at 5am to realize he hadn't woken up yet (yes, I thought he was dead, snuck in his room and promptly woke him up). Once in awhile, he still co-sleeps if he is sick or out of sorts (think Christmas Mayhem). Because of our experiences with our son, we've already decided to just play it by ear with our daughter. We'll go the co-sleeping route with her and if it doesn't work out, only then will we plunk down the dineros to buy a crib.

Listen. Co-sleeping is not for everyone. It just so happened that I am the sort of sleeper who didn't mind having a baby in bed with me. For many months, I had to end my nights early and go to bed with him - I would read in bed while he slept. It worked for both of us and yes, sometimes it sucked going to bed by 8:30pm, but the advantage was that I didn't have to give up my beloved books, either. I was probably one of the best-read new mothers going around. Besides, it also follows my Idea of Parenting that most things in life are temporary - I knew I wouldn't always be going to bed by 9pm.

Okay, so I am not a huge co-sleeping advocate who thinks everyone should be co-sleeping. What really, really ticks me off about such articles as the one I just linked to is the fact that often, they use unfair scare tactics. And who is more scared than a new mother?????? Many articles will lump all sorts of infant deaths together which can lead one to believe that by merely co-sleeping, you are putting your child at risk. For example, the article states:

......of the 30 infant deaths in 2006 and the first months of 2007, twenty were caused by "co-sleeping" with adults or in other unsafe sleeping environments.

You have to read carefully to get the point that OTHER unsafe sleeping environments were in play as well. Why did they have to lump it all together? If I hadn't been too lazy to type in tons more HREF code, I could show you many more articles that do the same thing.

Okay, without a doubt, if you have a drug or alcohol problem you should NOT co-sleep with your baby. If you are obese, you should NOT co-sleep with your baby. If your bed is super, squishy soft and loaded with comforters and pillows and is situated so high off the ground that a Princess could sleep there (Pea or No Pea), then yes, you probably should NOT co-sleep with your baby. However, I think it's wrong that these articles use such scare tactics that could frighten new parents away from what could be a perfectly viable arrangement for them. If they are going to list "co-sleeping" as a cause of infant death, I think they should list the particulars that went along with the co-sleeping. Frankly, my husband was in disbelief the first time I asked if he had ever heard of a baby being rolled over onto by his parents. Disbelief. I think he used the words "that's crazy". Again, I'm not here to push a co-sleeping agenda, but I would encourage new mothers to not be afraid of including it in their big bag of Ideas.

Pour Some Sugar On Me

In yesterday's comments, Celebrate Woo-Woo made the good point that corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup actually are different. As she says:

I would like to chime in that corn syrup is not the same as high fructose corn syrup. Corn syrup has not undergone the same processing and additions as high fructose corn syrup and is not the metabolism killer. Corn syrup is all glucose while high fructose corn syrup is mostly fructose, a little more than half usually. Fructose needs to be balanced with fiber as it is in fruits, but since it isn’t with HFCS, I think that’s where the body starts having issues with it.

She is right in that there is a difference between corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup and I appreciate her pointing that out. I found this piece that goes into the different types of sugars and here is how they broke it down:

Corn Syrup: Made from corn and composed mainly of glucose.

Fructose: A simple sugar found in fruits, honey, and root vegetables. It is used as a caloric sweetener, added to foods and beverages in the form of crystalline fructose (made from corn starch), and it makes up about half the sugar in sucrose or high fructose corn syrup (see below). Fructose does not elicit a glycemic response so it is sometimes used as a sweetener for foods intended for people with diabetes.

Galactose: A simple sugar found in milk products.

Glucose: The main source of energy for the body and the sugar produced when carbohydrates are digested or metabolized. Glucose is sometimes referred to as dextrose. Starch is comprised of long chains of glucose. Glucose make up exactly half of the sugar in sucrose and nearly half of the sugar in high fructose corn syrup.

High Fructose Corn Syrup: A mixture of glucose and fructose produced from corn. The most common form of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) has 55 percent fructose and 45 percent glucose.

Lactose: The sugar found naturally in milk, it is composed of one galactose unit and one glucose unit; sometimes called milk sugar.

Maltose: A disaccharide composed of two glucose units. It is found in molasses and is used in fermentation.

Sucrose: Commonly referred to as table sugar, it is composed of one glucose unit and one fructose unit, bonded together.

I did a TON of research trying to find the different effects of these sugars. I found so much conflicting information - some said sugar isn't harmful, some said sugar will KILL you (okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but still). It was hard to pinpoint the different sources and agendas - one site CLEARLY had an agenda (the same site that said sugar won't hurt you AT ALL). I kept reading and reading and then my brain blew up. Bah.

I can say this - my husband is a diabetic and we know for a FACT that different sugars have very different effects on him since he's testing his blood sugar at least 6 times a day. For example, he can have a bit of honey with little effect. But tropical fruits totally whack his blood sugar out - his days of pineapple and oranges are OVER, y'all. I think gaining a little bit of knowledge and then taking the time to carefully gauge how you feel after consuming sugar can go a long, long way. I have a friend who is so sensitive to sugar, that she has pretty cut it out of her diet. After she consumes sugar, she is very cranky, moody and generally unhappy for several hours after. I generally don't have a sweet tooth, but this pregnancy has thrown me for a loop with my cravings for sweets. Perhaps this is why sugar has been so high on my radar lately.

Follow Up

Toys While Nursing
Previously, I had mentioned a tip that my doctor gave me where she recommended putting together a few baskets of toys for my son play with while I am breastfeeding my daughter. Several commenters also added the great suggestion that reading books to my son while nursing is another great idea. And I agree! I LOVE that idea because it includes him. On a weird, odd, note, I had a similar experience with my cats - they quickly figured out that when I was nursing, I wasn't going anywhere. Frequently, I had at least one cat by my side while nursing and it ended up being a great way to give them some attention. I think by "including" them it made them less resentful of my son when he was born. To date, we've had absolutely no issues with them and they have been very accepting of my son and his "gentle" petting.

Bras
With this pregnancy, I am carrying my daughter pretty high and it appears my ribcage has expanded a bit. Which means my bras no longer fit quite right. I was going to buy some new bras anyway to "treat" myself (ha!), but am hesitant to run just now to buy some - what if my ribcage goes back to normal or not all the way? When I started this blog, I had grandiose ideas that I would go perusing again at Wal-Mart, Target and Motherhood and then provide detailed reviews. However, I just couldn't get my heart into it. Frankly, my experience with those three places the last time was very, very bad and it was NOT worth saving a few bucks to get cheap bras there - I ended up throwing out about $50 worth of bras and instead, buying some Bravado bras at Shawnee Mission Medical Center's Mommy and Me store. I want to continue with the Bravado line because they makes such great nursing bras, but am hesitant to plunk over money until I know for sure what my size will be. However, my bras are "cutting" into my ribcage NOW. Bah humbug.

If it's for Free, it's for Me!

I have previously mentioned my undying love and gratitude for Soothies. My one complaint is the ridiculous cost of them - I've had to pay $11 for a pack of 2. They only last 3-5 days (depending how carefully you treat them and store them when not in use.) so if you need them for 2-3 weeks (like I did), then you are looking at some hefty costs. Today, I decided to start stocking my bag for the hospital and I went to Wal-Mart to see if they had Soothies. While there, I discovered that Gerber makes soothing gel pads, too. Of course, maybe Gerber had always been making them, but I was in such a daze with my son that I did not have the time nor the inclination to comparison shop. So, in the process of looking at the Gerber site to provide a link for this post, I noticed a little verbiage that included the word "free" and "sample". Two of the very sweetest words in the English language. So, I called the number (1-800-4-GERBER) and got set up for some free samples to be delivered. I called at 10pm CDT and was shocked to get an answer. The CSR was super-friendly and my free samples are on their way. Also, I will still buy some Soothies so I can provide a product comparison and additionally, I'm looking into some other soothing gel pads. I will be sure to report back on this when the time actually comes for me to slapping those suckers on my sore tatas! I'd like to provide a nice Benefit vs. Cost analysis.

Have a great weekend and BE SAFE.

Remedies

As much as the next person, I love, LOVE investing in pretty, smelly bottles of overpriced crèmes, lotions and “remedies” for any perceived ailment I might have. (Currently, I am going through a “bodywash” phase and have a variety of them in my shower. They represent a United Nations of Prices ranging from Philosophy to Neutrogena to Evelyn/Crabtree to a Target store brand. Gulp.)

Anyway, one of the very first things I learned in breastfeeding is that it pays to experiment. Lanolin crème is pushed onto all new mothers and like the sheep I am, I dutifully applied it. Unfortunately, it did not help me in the least. Fortunately, I had my secret weapon in that one of my cousins is a lactation consultant. For my baby shower, she had given me a “breastfeeding care package” loaded with all sorts of goodies. I vaguely remembered seeing a package of Soothies, and tossing them aside with casual interest because I didn’t know what they were for. A week into Breastfeeding Hell, I was digging through the care package looking for something. I came across the Soothies, read the description and a light bulb came on. I slapped those suckers on and never looked back. In short, Soothies saved me, whereas lanolin provided little relief. The secret to the Soothies and lanolin concept is that this is an Either/Or situation. You do NOT use them together - you have to make a choice and go with one OR the other. All was not lost, though, in the realm of All Things Lanolin. For the first several weeks when taking a shower, I did use the Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser, which is lanolin based, on my chest area to minimize exposure to fragrance or anything that might be irritating.

In the vein of "alternatives", I did read with interest this study in the International Breastfeeding Journal of using peppermint water in lieu of expressed breast milk to help prevent nipple cracking (peppermint water is used by breastfeeding mothers in Iran). Normally, peppermint is associated with being an irritant if applied topically, so I was curious about this. I will definitely keep an eye out for more results on this.


(Totally Tangential: All the free samples of lanolin crème I received did not go to waste – lanolin is an EXCELLENT diaper rash prevention. I used the tubes for travel sizes for my diaper bag. Unfortunately, lanolin is WAY too expensive to actually purchase for regular use. While I’m on topic, Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser is another great diaper rash prevention. A tip I received from my sister, she recommended putting it on after each diaper change. No, you don’t rinse it, you leave it on and it forms a thin, non-greasy, non-smelly protective layer. I’ve used it on my son since he was born with excellent results.)

What's your favorite position?

As I am on the dawn of a new round of breastfeeding, I've been reflecting on what I'll do different this time around. For sure, I will definitely be trying more than the select few positions offered in the pamphlets that were handed out in the breastfeeding class I took. And most definitely, I will not be using the Creaky Rocker With Hospital Provided Boppy combo. It's not that the LCs at the hospital pushed these positions, it's just I didn't know to ask. It turned out that my favorite and most comfortable position for nursing my son in the beginning was sitting Indian-style on the floor or in our bed. I also liked nursing him while lying down in the bed, which went a long, long way in night-feedings. I was rarely sleep-deprived after the first few weeks once I got everything down pat. Unfortunately, it took me awhile to figure out how to nurse lying down because the pamphlets only showed a select way to do it - it turned out, I needed to do something different with my arms and my pillow in order to make it comfortable for me. Of course, once I got nursing down pat, I could nurse in any position, but I think it would have been more helpful to have more options in the beginning while I was still figuring it all out.

In that vein, I was very excited to come across an article yesterday that discussed different nursing positions. This article, on the BBC News site, challenges traditional breastfeeding positions and found if the infant lies down on his/her stomach while nursing there can be many advantages and more reflexes are "spurred" by this position. I have nursed in this position before, but not until my son was older. I was excited to learn about this position for newborns - it will be nice to have several options. The other advantage of this position is that if you get a clogged milk duct on the underside of your breast, that will go a long way in clearing it since having your baby's chin aligned with the clogged duct helps that duct along.

My #1 Advice to a new mother learning how to breastfeed would be to encourage her to experiment - there are no rules when it comes to breastfeeding! As long as everyone involved is comfortable, then I say go for it. Experiment away!

Age Limits

I mentioned I would talk about age limits for breastfeeding. However, I should really start in the beginning.......

Back in my days of Armchair Parenting, I believed a child should be weaned at 12 months. Sharp. Then, I had a baby of my own and learned that babies need high fat in their diets until the age of 24 months since it's crucial for brain development - specifically, they need essential fatty acids, which cow's milk is low in. Okay. I was cool with that and decided that if Arun wanted to nurse until 2 years old, that was fine by me. Then, I found out I was pregnant shortly after Arun turned 12 months. I knew that I didn't want to tandem nurse, so I decided that Arun would need to be weaned by 18 months. As I've already discussed, he ended up weaning himself by 15 months (not to belabor the point, but now we do a variety of nuts, flaxseed, and fish to help with his essential fatty acid intake. We aren't anti-milk by any means (I LOVE milk! YUM!), but cow's milk was made for a CALF'S brain.) Okay. The end. Right? Not really, because I have baby #2 on the way. And I will approach weaning in the same manner - I'd like to nurse her until 24 months if she's down with that, but if not, I am not going to push breastfeeding on her when there are other great options for essential fatty acids.

So. Age limits. I am not comfortable with children nursing past the age of 2. I never was and still am not. However, until I had a child of my own, I couldn't really explain why I was awkward with it - I couldn't quite put it in definable words. There has been talk in the comments here about the "over-sexualization of the female breast" in our culture. I would agree with that sentiment. But that over-sexualization is based on something that has been in existence since the beginning of man. Modern culture didn't invent that concept but rather exploited it. The female breast is a source of pleasure and desire for both men and women - that's undeniable. And that role of the female breast in sexual pleasure plays itself out for the greater part of most women's lives. In truth, breastfeeding constitutes a very small part of most women's lifespans even when you figure out a max of 2 years per child.

I would expect that the female breast will play a part in both of my children's sexual futures. Therefore, quite simply, I do not want them to remember suckling at mine. When they are adults, I want their experiences with the female to be fresh. So while I really don't care if others nurse their children way beyond the age of 2, I will never be comfortable with it.