Assume the position: Day 5

Several commenters made the great point about position. And yes, I did need to branch out from the ole Football Hold. It was difficult, because she was getting such a great latch. However. I am SO engorged right now and my nipples a wee bit sore, that I needed to suck it up and get back to the basics with the Cradle Hold and Lying Down Position. And yes - the new positions are helping. As are the Soothies! Unfortunately, as much as Anjali was taking one for the team, I did still have to get out the pump to help. My husband asked, innocently, why I couldn't just pump myself empty to relieve the engorgement. I managed to not laugh in his face and fortunately, he has a great understanding of that teeny-tiny economics concept known as "supply and demand" so he understood when I explained that you can't "fake your body out" like that or you will pay dearly. I've been pumping a minimum of 2 ozs for relief and to help with the latch, but hopefully not so much to psych my body into producing yet MORE milk. I also found that filling sandwich bags with cold water from the fridge and stuffing them in your bra goes a long, long way in relief, but little in the way of self-esteem. Finally, I banged one of my breasts with the car door today. Then I died.

So, today has been a bad day. Besides, the normal "wear and tear" * of a vaginal delivery, I managed to do something to my left hip joint during the delivery, so I am limping. And I am dealing with the engorgement. Did I mention that I am losing more sleep over one of my distraught cats meowing all night long than from either my newborn NOR my teething toddler???? This is where one must grab tight onto Perspective and hold on for dear life. All these things are temporary, right? And we did have a bright spot - we had a doctor's appointment and it looks like we can officially call off Jaundice Watch 2007 - she's a great nurser, isn't too far down from her birth weight and all that nursing has produced enough stools to get the gunky bilirubin out of her system. And have I mentioned how sweet BOTH of my kids are right now? Both are so snuggly. So, yes - the nice thing about being a mother the 2nd time around is having some good Perspective. This too shall pass.

I just hope it passes soon.

* Did you see that I haven't lost my sense of humor? DID YOU SEE?

Boo on Gerber: Day 3, Day 4

Um. Yeah. My milk came in. The awesome news is that Anjali is such a stellar nurser that engorgement hasn't been too bad. I haven't even had to pump because I can pop her right on when I get too uncomfortable. I am SO grateful she is a good nurser since we are on a jaundice watch - it's not too bad yet. But, I want her to eat as much as possible to help get the bilirubin out of her system (stools are the best way for newborns to move the junk out of their systems). I am definitely getting sore, but it's not agonizing or "toe-curling" as I used to call it with my son. We'll see, but I am hopeful that keeping consistent with a good latch will help somewhat.

Gerber Gunk
Okay. I tried the Gerber soothing gel pads and they SUCKED. HARD. I have only used 2 of them and am seriously contemplating pitching the remaining 6 and chalking them up to a loser purchase. They are very thin, they only last 4 hours a piece, and they crinkle oddly which means they show through a bra AND shirt. I can NOT recommend these pads - however, I do welcome any comments from anyone who has had a good experience, just in case it was a "personal issue" on my part. I can report that my lactation consultant shook her head when I told her my "grand plan" about giving Gerber a fair chance. She said Soothies are far superior and I have to agree with her. The cost comparison is criminal - an 8 pack of Gerber costs as much as a 2 pack of Soothies. However! To put it into a proper perspective, an entire package of Gerber will only last you about 16 hours and a pack of Soothies will last you at least 3 days (with proper care, I was able to push a few to 5 days the last time around on the Breastfeeding Wagon).

Hormonal!
This morning, as I was feeling my breasts to see how full they were, I had an overwhelming case of the shivers. I felt like I was going to shiver n' shake straight out of my skin AND my palms were burning as if hot needles were poking them. Because I've been through this before, I knew that I must have stimulated my breasts and hormones must have been released - it still unnerved me, but at least I knew it was normal. I also forgot to mention yesterday that while in the hospital, I had a terrible case of night sweats, also courtesy of El Hormones. I am trying to keep track of all these things because when they can happen, it can be a little scary if you don't realize straight away they are just hormones messing with you.

Uterine Contractions
In my last post, Leah made the comment that uterine contractions are important because they help to clean the uterus out AND they help the uterus contract back down to the original size. I wanted to point that out, because it should be noted that the uterine contractions are a GOOD thing. They just don't FEEL good!

Some snaps!

Very concerned that the "bee-bee" is crying

Bug-Eyed #1

Bug-Eyed #2

Little vampire.

Sleeping. Because, the SUN is still up.

Finally, I can get topical: Day 1 and 2

Okay - Anjali is here. And I am officially breastfeeding. I can quit feeling like an imposter, eh?

Day 1:
I was supposed to be at the hospital by 7:15 pm to be induced. I ended up getting there by 6pm because labor had already started after all. She was born by 10:27 after some incredibly tense moments in which an ob for a c-section was summoned. I pushed and pushed for dear life and fortunately, she came without needing a c-section. I was able to breastfeed her straight away, the latch was NOT a good one, she mostly had nipple. Because of the position I was lying in on the bed, I simply could not "get to her" any better. The good news, is that from the very beginning, she's had a good, strong suck and LOVES nursing.

Day 2:
Since I am less sore, not drugged and in a regular bed (not a hospital bed), I am able to experiment with different positions. Far and away, the best is sitting "Indian style" on the bed with a nursing pillow and getting her latched on with football hold. Since I am more experienced this time and can determine myself whether she is properly latched on or not, I can report that it IS true -- if the baby is latched on correctly, there is SO much less pain. I am starting to get sore nipples, but I am not in agony like I was with my son and a proper latch is indeed, critical. However. Even though I am an "experienced" mother, it is still damned difficult to shove enough breast into a newborn's mouth! Their pieholes are just so teeny-tiny that it still takes me a few tries.

I will say that I had forgotten about 2 things - the uterine contractions spurred by breastfeeding are SO painful. Yep, they are necessary, but I had forgotten the pain. However, I'd also forgotten how incredibly sweet and awe-inspiring it is to see your newborn's eyes looking up at you as he/she is gulping away. She LOVES nursing, is anticipating it now and opens her mouth wide. Which helps with the latch, thank goodness.

Housekeeping Note:
This will be in a "Dear Diary" format. I'd like to do this for at least the first 2 weeks to try and document a realistic, real-time experiment with those early days of breastfeeding. All these entries will be under the "Dear Diary" category but I will still do other, separate posts for news and interesting articles.

No way. NO WAY.

Apparently, my induction was scheduled for 7 PM which is significantly, completely and utterly different than AM.

Specifically, one is in the MORNING and the other is in the EVENING.

Now that I am done freaking out and we have figured out who is going to take care of Arun tonight and tomorrow because in other news, our plans for him fell through, I am doing okay. Actually, I'm lying.

I'm still totally freaked out.

I apologize for these departures from "breastfeeding", but it is difficult to wrap my head around the topic of breasts until I get this "birthin' part accomplished. Bear with me.

Lighter Fare

I am getting induced bright n' early tomorrow morning. My son has already been informed that his contract for the position of Head Honcho is up for renegotiation and that his new terms aren't looking so hot.

Will return Wednesday - I will be taking copious notes on how the early days go with breastfeeding. Those entries will be in a category called "Dear Diary" and I am planning to do at least 2 straight weeks' worth, but would really like to do 3 weeks. In the meantime, let's end this on a lighter note, shall we?

Friday, 7/6/07 - Anjali's Due Date
With no baby imminently showing the whites of her eyes that night, I thought that I would splurge and get a vanilla malt. I love malts and HATE milkshakes - but I rarely get malts because they are what? A squillion calories or something? Anyway..... So, I go to Sheriden's then drive merrily on my way home. I pull into the garage, reach for the malt and it's not there. I realized with a slight horror what I had done. I had basically chucked a $20 bill at the kid in the drive-thru window at Sheriden's - then, I drove off. DUDE. I didn't even get my change, much less my malt. So, yeah. I sheepishly drove back to Sheriden's to retrieve my money and malt. Sadly, they were fresh out of Dignity and Pride.

I may not have birthed a baby on my due date Friday, but apparently I birthed my brain.

However. There's even more.

My husband was the IN THE CAR WITH ME THE ENTIRE TIME.

Innernets, I ask of you - - - What's HIS excuse??

Talk amongst yourself.

Should prescriptions be required for formula?

Allison over at The Attached Mother has some great thoughts about the whole "should prescriptions be required for formula?" question. I agree with her that requiring a prescription would a little too "militant". And I love her recommendation that some sort of questionnaire be given to mothers to find out why they are quitting. This could go a long way in helping the breastfeeding community determine how we can best support breastfeeding mothers.

But requiring a prescription? I'd never support that. Make no mistake about it, I have no love at all for the companies that produce and market formula. I've made it no secret that their aggressive marketing tactics make me angry, particularly in 3rd countries. But I don't necessarily fault a mother for using formula. Yeah, I think formula is crap, but I'll admit it here in front of the world that my kid has had a McDonald's cheeseburger. Or two. Besides, if we start requiring prescriptions for formula, where else could that lead us? I know folks disagree with me for not having gates on my stairs and that weird molding crap on my fireplace hearth. Even co-sleeping is still a bit controversial and I've had more than one person get all squinty-eyed on me as if I was putting my child in mortal danger.

So, no. No prescriptions please.

The Pacifier

GAWD. I'm already tired of me. I guess I thought I was more interesting or something.............

Pacifiers
When my son was born, I had it all planned. We'd use a pacifier for the 1st few months, then he could suck his thumb if he wanted. After all, this strategy had worked swell for my sister - why not me? What I didn't count on was the fact that my son would rather not suck on a hunk of plastic. He'd rather suck on me. And I didn't mind. We were co-sleeping anyway and whatever garnered us the most amount of sleep was the Official Plan going forward. The end.

Yeah, RIGHT. Okay, it wasn't actually THAT easy. He took a pacifier for the first few days, then I got paranoid about Nipple Confusion and took them away to wait for the recommended 3 weeks. THEN, he wouldn't take pacifier any longer and THEN, I went through a lot of pacifiers trying to find the One that would win over my son's heart. It was very hard to put him down for naps because he didn't have any mechanisms for self-comfort. Sure, he'd co-sleep at NIGHT, but naptime he wouldn't sleep with me, despite my best efforts. So, the first 10 months were HARD - nighttime sleep was a breeze, but naps were killing me. KILLING.... ME....... And not softly, either. I may have spent most nights sleeping peacefully, but the afternoons found me sobbing on my couch, stuffing my face with Choxie chocolates and lamenting my woes to my sister.

However.

The advantage is that my son DID eventually find ways to self-soothe. And we've never had to deal with weaning him for a pacifier or a thumb. Which leads me to think that I probably won't even try the pacifier with my daughter. Why bother if I can just suck it up?

Of course, I say that NOW.