A BoobLog

Haste Makes Waste

2008-04-30T18:18:00.000-07:00

Regarding my last post about Salma Hayek, I was a bit rushed when posting and truthfully, I think I was wrong. That is what I get for just typing, then hitting "publish".

While it was a cinch for me to lose my baby weight, I only gained 20 lbs to begin with and, most importantly, I was already overweight when I got pregnant. I most certainly was not at my ideal weight, like Salma Hayek was. So yes - I have lost all my baby weight, but I am still overweight overall. I do think it would be hard for me to lose any more weight while still breastfeeding and frankly, I am not even going to try too hard until I am done breastfeeding. I do not want to mess with my eating habits at the risk of my health or my baby's. And that is where I realized how very wrong I was to criticize Salma Hayek for her very rational statements.

Two gals had GREAT comments on that last post that made me realize I needed to reel back in a bit. First, Monkey pointed out:

One thing I do like about Salma Hayek and this comment is that she is being brutally honest about the fact that even her (hot hot hot) body changed post-pregnancy. God bless Gwyneth Paltrow and her second day size 2 pant size, but it just doesn't reflect reality for most people. This comment may also have been aimed at people like Naomi Watts & others who claimed they lost all the weight *simply* through breastfeeding. While some may be telling the truth...well, this is Hollywood and I think Salma is kind of telling it like it is over here, not necessarily the rest of the world. When 9/10 people claim they lost weight by "pilates" or "breastfeeding" in Hollywood what they really mean is "tummy tuck" and "lipo" and "extreme diets".

And Emily added this:

I also think that Salma Hayek was attempting to counter the mostly unrealistic images of post-baby weight loss coming out of Hollywood. I'm still bf'ing my 10-month-old, and believe me, the pounds did not melt off! And exclusive breastfeeding introduces different demands on a mother's time and energy - whether or not she is pumping. In some ways, those demands can make it tougher to lose weight. In any case, I found Hayek's comments to be refreshing.

In case you are wondering, I would like to have my crow served warm with a side of garlic mashed potatoes, please.

Dear Boobs.

2008-04-23T12:01:00.000-07:00

Today, Miss Zoot wrote a love letter to her girls thanking them for all of their hard work:

......But when I’m pregnant? You grow to a size I can be proud of! You give me CLEAVAGE! Which I love sooooo much. Of course, with the cleavage come the boobsweat. But I’ve learned to live with that. Having cleavage is just that awesome. And when the babies come? You provide nourishment as well as can be expected. We’ve had our problems because you don’t like to work too hard. But that has it’s perks too as you don’t leak! Yay for non-leaking boobs!......

I definitely recommend you head over and read the entire letter.

Lying Liar

2008-04-09T10:57:00.000-07:00

I get very frustrated with the whole "you cannot lose weight while breastfeeding" comments. Salma Hayek, who I normally love, was quoted as saying on Oprah the other day:

I gained a lot of weight. I had gestational diabetes. The pregnancy was really difficult for me. I thought, 'As soon as this baby's out, I'm just going to lose all the weight superfast because I'm going to breastfeed, and everybody tells you if you breastfeed, [the weight] is going to come off.'

It's a lie; It's not true. I'm going to say something. Except for a couple of exceptions, the only reason people lose weight like that when they're breastfeeding -- it's cause they're not eating and they're breastfeeding. And this is not good for the baby.

It takes you nine months to get it, and nine months to lose it. There are shortcuts, but it's not good for the baby. So I'm taking my time. I've lost a lot -- most of -- the weight and I'm very proud of it, because it's been really hard work studying what can I eat that's healthy for me, what's healthy for her. But I'm still losing, even if it's slow. And I've been working out.

I'm proud of what I've lost. And the rest is going to go when it's time to go.

She is correct that if you gain a ton of weight, it is not going to just magically melt off simply by breastfeeding. Fortunately for me, the weight did come off quite easily. I gained 20 lbs with both pregnancies and was able to lose the weight within about 4 weeks with both pregnancies.

However, I am still overweight and certainly cannot claim to have a rockin' bod. BUT. I was able to lose my baby weight quite easily and I am quite certain that breastfeeding helped with that.

The rest of the weight I am carting around on my hips? Sadly, is mine all mine. Sigh.

Many Moons

2008-03-31T11:16:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe it has been what - two months? *Gulp* I swear I had not forgotten this blog.

However.

I have been verklempt lately. I had been still struggling with the postpartum depression thingie I had going on.

However.

After the first time I posted about it, my husband was upset. He is a very private person and obviously, postpartum depression is not about one individual - it affects an entire family. I respected his wishes that I not talk about it.

However.

Then, I felt like such a fraud because I did end up going on Zoloft a few months ago. And it seemed untruthful to post here and not "confess" that fact. But I wanted to respect X's wishes, too.

However.

I have a daughter. Perhaps, if Anjali had been a boy, I would feel differently and would just continue on as usual. No harm. No foul. Right?

However.

HOWEVER.

I have a very direct, very personal experience with a "child losing a parent" scenario since my own father lost his own father at the tender age of 18 months. Recently, I realized something. If something were to happen to me, my own daughter may not know the truth. She may see this blog some day and think that everything turned out fine. She may some day, have a child of her own. She may some day, struggle with postpartum depression. I would be horrified to think that she might say "well, my own mother dealt with it stoically, therefore I must as well".

I have never written a "Dear Son/Daughter Letter". I think they are a bit cheesy but am willing to break with tradition this once.

For Anjali.

____________________
March 29, 2008

Dear Anjali,

When I found out I was having a daughter, I was over the moon and beyond. I think I was all the way out to Saturn - maybe even Jupiter. Wait, a second. Which is farther out??? Whatever. I was so excited to have a girl. You get the picture. A daughter. I considered myself the luckiest ever in the history of women giving birth to have a boy and a girl. I love butterflies and dinosaurs! I love, love trains! And dolls! And cars! And hair barrettes! (P.S. You love trains, too. I have photos.)

When you were born, I cried. You were my 2nd baby and the experience was less surreal than your brother's birth. With Arun, I was high on excited adrenaline about having a baby and in a bit of a shock about being a mother (something I had dreamed of since I was little girl.) However, with you, I knew exactly, precisely all the joys I was in for with you. Your birth was all about you and nothing whatsoever about me becoming a mother. I was already a mother, I knew what what I was doing at that point and was not scared in the least to be a mother again.

After you were born, while I was still on the delivery table , you immediately came to my breast to nurse and we never looked back. I am so grateful that I have only breastfed you and we have never given you formula. You are a healthy, chubby little girl and I totally relish your pudgy thighs and dimpled knuckles. I am hoping you breastfeed until about 18 months or so, but truly - it is up to you. If you want to give it up as 12 months. So be it. Two years? That is fine, too.

While we were in the hospital, I did not want you to leave the room. I was on edge when you were not with me. With Arun, I was more nervous and sent him to the nursery more often so that I could sleep. With you, I felt more comfortable and did not want you to leave at all - I was very nervous when you were not with me and preferred that you sleep with me in the hospital bed (a queen size, HUGE bed - very safe for co-sleeping.) I slept so peacefully when you were beside me. I could wake up throughout the night and immediately feel your chest to make sure you are breathing (I still do this, nearly nine months later. When will I stop this?)

When we brought you home, you decided that you would not sleep in the bassinet and that you needed to sleep with your daddy or me. And we did not argue. You are still sleeping with me in our bed and we have no intentions of moving you to another bed until you want to move to another bed. You sleep best with daddy or me. In India, this is the common way to sleep, so we do not care and we all sleep together. Because we are a family. We are confident that you will head off to college wanting to sleep on your own.

Anjukutty, I do not expect us to be friends. Ever. I want to be your mother - the one to guide you and share life with you. But not as your friend. You will have many, many friends in your life. I might be a sort of friend, on a lesser scale, but I will always, always be your mother first. This means that I may tell you things that you do not want to hear. On the other hand, friends have to a tendency to tell you only the things you want to hear. You can always come to me for an honest opinion, that you may or may not desire. But it will be honest and only with pure intentions for I only have your best interest at heart.

I have so many interests, thoughts and ideas - I am so excited to share those with you. I do hope that we will enjoy doing things together - playing cards, going to antique malls, playing board games, watching sports, reading books, traveling, knitting. But I will always be your mother first. Not your friend. Please remember this on those days that you are angry with me for telling you what you did not want to hear.

Anju, this is the serious part of this letter. After you were born, I encountered the saddest, darkest period of my life. The dreaded postpartum depression. Fortunately, you and Arun were not a part of that dark part. Actually, you and Arun have been the light of my life and have kept me going. I wake up each morning and try to think of fun things to do for you and Arun - even on the days when I do not want to get out of bed. The two of you keep me going and make me get out of the house. Every single day, you and Arun do something that makes me smile.

I have been taking Zoloft and that has helped. In addition, I am still trying my best to eat healthy, go for walks and keep active while I wait for my body to get back to normal. Reading, writing and knitting have taken on an even greater importance for me as a means for relaxation. Lately, I have felt that I am getting more normal and that my hormones are settling down. I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

AnjukuttyAlthough the past few months have been so hard, I would do them all over again in a heartbeat. No questions asked. You have made our family complete in so many ways I never thought possible and we are grateful that you are so healthy.

I pray that someday I will give you this letter myself.

Love,
Mama

Banks. They're not just for money anymore.

2008-01-17T11:59:00.000-08:00

UPDATE:
The Mothers Milk Bank of New England is in the finals! Please consider going out to vote again for this. Thanks!

I had an exciting post planned about how Anjali weighs 18.1 lbs. Which means that she has gained exactly 10 lbs since birth. 10 whole lbs that my body provided for her! Then, I received an email from Tanya of The Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog that made it all the more poignant for me how lucky I am that my body stepped up to the plate for Anjali's benefit.

Tanya posted about The Mothers Milk Bank of New England needing help with raising money. Currently, the nearest milk banks are in Ohio and North Carolina which Hello! Is a bit far away for folks in the New England area. In short, parents in the NE area with a baby in the NICU are struggling to get breastmilk from such faraway locations. As someone whose friend gave birth to her daughters at 28 weeks gestation, I am intimately aware of how critical breastmilk is for preemies. My friend's daughters are turning 6 years old this year and are perfectly healthy.

Tanya writes:

The Milk Bank needs money for 1) processing and storage equipment, 2) a "Milk Money" fund to help families whose insurance won't cover processing fees, and 3) marketing materials to get the word out about the new bank.

So, here's our chance to make a big difference today. Here's what to do:

Go to the Milk Bank page on IdeaBlob, and vote for this project! You have to register first and confirm by email, which doesn't take long.
Blog or post about this wherever you can to help bring in more votes.

Thank you for your time today! And cross your fingers...

Solid Like a Rock

2007-12-18T06:03:00.001-08:00

Continuing the solids discussion from the other day.........

Let me be clear - cereal was a waste of time, effort and money for us simply because my son would not eat it. I know loads of folks who had success with cereal. Just not us.

Ironically, this past Monday, I had dinner with a friend at one of my favorite Middle Eastern restaurants (the place leans towards Palestinian in flavor/cuisine). As I was eating my lentil soup, I had a total flashback. When my son was around 8 months, I remembered him slurping down on the soup - he loved it so much (of course, on Monday, the little stinker would have nothing to do with it!) At the time, I was SO relieved and wanted to jump for joy that he was willing to eat something "solid" after having struggled with the cereal and baby food for so long. I also had bought into the whole "iron deficiency" thing and was relieved because lentils are good for iron. He loved that place so much we even took him there to celebrate his 1st birthday, since technically, it was his favorite restaurant. I still have the little #1 candle we stuck in his piece of namoura.

With my son, I remember distinctly the doctor saying at his 6 months checkup saying "You can give him cereal now, if you want". At the time, I thought her phrasing was interesting but it made more sense later when I realized that cereal nor solids were critical for my son's health. This time going into the Solids Game, I have decided to not do a specific timeline, per se, but to just wait until 6 months and see how Anjali is doing then. I am certainly not going to stress myself out if she does not catch on right away. Besides, she is not necessarily ready yet - I am still struggling giving her the anti-biotic because her tongue control is just not there. However, she is very, very interested in what we are eating and that is a sign that she is gearing up to sticking food in her mouth. Finally, I am NOT going to invest in an entire box of cereal - I will scrounge around with my mommy friends and borrow a cup or two. Kellymom has some great information on solids and "when to introduce" which is in line with what I would like to do this go-around.

In the comments, Girlfriend makes the point that it was previously thought that breastmilk did not have enough iron and now we know that is not true. Again, with the Kellymom to the rescue:

The iron in breastmilk is bound to proteins which make it available to the baby only, thus preventing potentially harmful bacteria (like E.coli, Salmonella, Clostridium, Bacteroides, Escherichia, Staphylococcus) from using it. These two specialized proteins in breastmilk (lactoferrin and transferrin) pick up and bind iron from baby's intestinal tract. By binding this iron, they
stop harmful bacteria from multiplying by depriving them of the iron they need to live and grow, and
ensure that baby (not the bacteria) gets the available iron.

The introduction of iron supplements and iron-fortified foods, particularly during the first six months, reduces the efficiency of baby's iron absorption. As long as your baby is exclusively breastfed (and receiving no iron supplements or iron-fortified foods), the specialized proteins in breastmilk ensure that baby gets the available iron (instead of "bad" bacteria and such). Iron supplements and iron in other foods is available on a first come, first served basis, and there is a regular "free-for-all" in the baby's gut over it. The "bad" bacteria thrive on the free iron in the gut. In addition, iron supplements can overwhelm the iron-binding abilities of the proteins in breastmilk, thus making some of the iron from breastmilk (which was previously available to baby only) available to bacteria, also. The result: baby tends to get a lower percentage of the available iron.

With my son, I eventually gave up on cereal- we went to table food at around 9 months with softened bits of fruit and such. When we cook at home, it is primarily South Indian and yes, he ate some spicy stuff in the beginning as we experimented with what he could handle. Sometimes, he would fuss, but he quickly learned to reach for his water. These days, his tolerance is pretty good - when he hits something spicy he emphatically declares it to be "spicy!", reaches for his water, takes a drink, then digs in for more food. Hands down, when we cook at home, he eats like a horse. I also think my husband is secretly proud that one of his son's favorite dishes is a specialty from his state of Kerala - fish with a red sauce made from a sticky tamarind called kodumpuly.

And yes, my grandma is properly horrified.

Call Me Crazy Because I Am

2007-12-16T19:16:00.000-08:00

I have not forgotten this blog. Besides my personal site at Rancid Raves and my odd compulsion to participate in the NaBloPoMo thingie, I have also taking up food blogging in support of my husband's new business venture - FoodieBytes. This is the 2nd business I have watched him build, so this not something entirely out of his realm. This is the first time, however, that I have played such an active role. Some of the stuff discussed in this post are really old, but this has been hanging out in my drafts folder, so I will go ahead and get it out anyway......

Over the past months, a few things came up breastfeeding-wise that I wanted to post about, but I was so late to the game that I felt I had nothing new to add. Weanergate? Yeah, those people criticizing Jen were IDIOTS. When they began questioning her use of the article "the" instead of using "a", I quit listening to her detractors. Weaning is a careful dance between a mother and her baby (or babies) - everyone has needs that must be met.

I would like to point you over to Jackie at Nursing Your Kids - Jackie has had some great pieces lately. One clarifies some facts missing from many of the news articles surrounding the Sophie Currier Case. For example, the following accommodations were offered to Currier:

* permission to express milk in a private room at the testing center during the allotted break time;
* permission to bring food and drink into the testing room;
* permission to pump milk while in her separate testing room;
* the option to leave the test center to breastfeed during the allotted time.

Jackie has some great insight/thoughts on this and I encourage you to read her post on it. In addition, Jackie has also posted about the new study that was released that shows that breastfeeding infants may end up not being such picky eaters after all, from the article she provides the following quote:

"Whether you are breast-feeding or formula-feeding, once you start introducing a food, make sure you offer your baby opportunities to eat fruits and vegetables. They need to taste them to learn to like them."

I would say that my experience has been fairly similar. Sure, there are some foods that my 2 year prefers over others, but hell's bells - there are foods that even I prefer over others. In the White People Food category, my son loves Greek yogurt, rice, fries, pizza, cauliflower, stinky cheeses, tomatoes, avocado, and all fruits. In the Indian Food category, he loves just about anything South Indian and he likes some things North Indian. We mostly cook South Indian at home and he has rarely turned away a veggie cooked South Indian. One of his favorites is a specialty from my husband's state of Kerala. It is a fish with red sauce that is comprised of spices, onions, and a stinky, pulpy fruit similar to tamarind called kodumpuly. It does not matter which sort of fish we cook with, my son will eat it.

Does my son eat such a variety because we were open to shoving such different things in his mouth? Or is it because he was breastfeed exclusively? Or did we just luck out? I will never know for sure, but as I am on the cusp of starting solid foods with Anjali, I have been thinking back to the lessons I learned with Arun. First and foremost, I am not sure how much I will mess with cereal. What a waste of time, effort and money. And canned jars of baby food? Again with the time, effort, and money. With Arun, I was a New Mom and had it in my thick skull that babies eat cereal and baby food. Now, I am not necessarily wiser, but not foolish enough to have Best Laid Plans. When Anjali turns 6 months old, I will attempt to give her some things, but am not going to stress about it.

My doctor said it best: "Solids before 12 months is a skill to be learned not a nutritional requirement."

Blowout

2007-11-18T08:12:00.000-08:00

Last Wednesday, Miss Thang clocked in at 16 lbs, 3 oz. I celebrate every ounce because she will need them when she starts crawling. I remember when Arun began crawling and his weight pretty much stalled for the next 3 months, which freaked me out. That was when I really needed the lactation consultant and her constant assurances that Arun was fine, just fine.

One thing I feel compelled to discuss are bowel movements. Generally, I avoid these discussions because hello! BORING. However, Anjali's frequency of BM is so radically different than Arun's that I am still having a hard time not worrying. Arun had a stool about every day, often several times a day. He had very few blowouts and occasionally a leak here and there. However, my precious girl? Has a stool about once a week. Truly. No joke. No exaggeration. Once a week. At first, it was a constant source of worry for me. I am finally okay with it and have accepted that this is just her body's way of dealing. I am posting about this specifically to assure other parents in this boat that yes, breastfeeding babies can only have stools once a week. It is perfectly okay as long as the baby is not straining as if constipated and if the consistency/color seem normal.

However, it is very frustrating because we are at a point where nearly every single BM is a blowout that leads to a Clothing Catastrophe. Particularly, if she is in the carseat Oh My God...... When we are home, I can usually jump to the rescue and prevent such fashion tragedies.

Overall, I am tired of throwing away perfectly good outfits.

Doesn't Miss a Meal

2007-11-08T20:06:00.000-08:00

Today, we had Anjali's 4 month appointment - she weighs 15 lbs, 9 oz and is about 25.5 inches. All of that came from me and my girls. We did that!

However, I feel it should be clear that I am not proud that I breastfeed exclusively. I am relieved....... grateful.....appreciative. With my life situation as it is, breastfeeding is much more convenient and economic. Formula would be a hardship in many ways for us. So, I do consider it a sort of gift that my body stepped up to the plate and did what biology had figured out in its grand plan. Um, not only that, but that I have no other reasons not to breastfeed.

Today, at the doctor's office, I saw the receptionist who is due this Friday with her first baby. Folks, when you have your children a mere 20 months apart, you get to know the kindly sort of people at your doctor's office quite well. This receptionist has been a total sweetie to me these past 2 years, and in particular recently with paying special attention to Arun during some difficult appointments when I was pregnant with Anjali. I love this gal, J, and have been excitedly following her own pregnancy. A few weeks back, I dropped off a small gift because I was anxious that she might have the baby before Anjali's appointment this week.

So, on Wednesday all was fine with J - she is very tired and very ready for her son to just get here already. That day while in the office, I mentioned that our hospital has a breastfeeding support group and that I do attend it - if she wanted to attend it also, I will be there. She told me that she would only get to breastfeed for the first 2 days because she has multiple sclerosis. As it was, it is a miracle her baby is okay because she got pregnant while on the medication she normally takes for the MS. She will not be able to breastfeed because of that medication.

It was a moment that gave me pause because I do take breastfeeding for granted. And J just happened to remind me that it would not hurt me to be a little thankful.

It is YOU?

2007-11-06T05:56:00.001-08:00

Anju has started this thing the past week where she will pull off while nursing, look around, and then notice me. Her face is a mix of amusement, amazement and fascination. As if she only just realized I have been the Gal Behind the Boobs all this time.

In other news, there are articles abounding on the gene that links Breastfeeding to IQ - apparently, a specific gene can allow for better metabolism of fatty acids in the breastmilk.

The gene in question helps break down fatty acids from the diet, which have been linked with brain development. Seven points difference is enough to put the child in the top third of the class, the researchers said.

In the past people have had different results about whether breastfeeding improves IQ and this would sort out the reason why. Some 90% of people carry the version of the gene which was associated with better IQ scores in breastfed children.

I thought this was simply interesting. That is all. Of course, now it is allowing for snarky comments via the comments section of the article - comments such as "More scare tactics! Breastfeeding isn't for every woman and in fact some babies get on better with a bottle."

I am not breastfeeding in the hopes that I get granted a little Baby Einstein. I am breastfeeding to simply feed my baby. It is free, healthy and it is formulated just for her.

That is a no-brainer to me. Of course, I was formula-fed. Whatever.

I Suspect There Has Been a Coverup

2007-11-05T07:54:00.001-08:00

Yet again, a nursing mother has been harassed for not covering while breastfeeding.

Cheryl Cruz, who as of Friday was still on vacation in Florida, said she took her children, including her 10-month-old daughter, Kalli, to Universal on Wednesday when she was approached by an employee. "We were just in the park sitting down and I was breast-feeding Kalli, and a park employee came over and said to me I have to cover up or I will be escorted out of Universal Studios," Cruz said. Cruz said a group of security guards surrounded her and she felt scared, humiliated and belittled.

I think long-time readers will remember that I used to be an advocate of covering up. "Cover thyself", I used to preach. Then, I went on to give birth to my 2nd child and ultimately, my brain. Having a baby in July meant that half the time, I forgot to pack a light blanket whenever I left the house. And I also quickly realized that covering with a blanket IN JULY actually brought more attention to me. I also realized that even while whipping out my maternal goods to feed my baby, I was still more covered up than most of the pretty young things prancing around in bikini tops, tank tops and shortie short shorts.

Besides, what kind of freak covers up with a blanket in JULY? Not me.

Anymore, that is.

Pump and Dump Slump

2007-11-02T12:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I actually considered doing a Pump n' Dump for a malt.

Yes, you read that correctly. A malt. A vanilla malt, preferably.

Dairy, Greek gyros, and even my beloved Thai lhad na ga pow simply tears my baby girl up. I sort of feel sorry for her, but I also feel sorry for me. I would love to take advantage of these extra calories I am burning and treat myself to a freakin' malt.

There is No Truth in Numbers

2007-11-01T07:21:00.000-07:00

As this article suggests, it may be that breastfeeding does not cause your girls to sag, after all. According to a study presented at the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) Plastic Surgery 2007 conference in Baltimore:

"Many women who come in for breast surgery tell us their breasts are sagging, drooping or are less full because they breastfed," said Brian Rinker, MD, ASPS Member Surgeon and study author. "Although the amount of sagging in the breasts appears to increase with each pregnancy, we've found that breastfeeding does not worsen the effect."

The study examined 93 women who were pregnant one or more times prior to having cosmetic breast surgery. Fifty-eight percent of patients reported breastfeeding one or more of their children. The duration of breastfeeding ranged from 2 to 25 months, with an average of nine months. Fifty-five percent of respondents reported an adverse change in the shape of their breasts following pregnancy.

As the first study to examine what impacts breast shape in connection to pregnancy, plastic surgeons found that a history of breastfeeding, the number of children breastfed, the duration of each child's breastfeeding, or the amount of weight gained during pregnancy were not significant predictors for losing breast shape. However, body mass index (BMI), the number of pregnancies, a larger pre-pregnancy bra size, smoking history, and age were significant risk factors for an increased degree of breast sagging.

Frankly, I was not particularly impressed with a study of 93 women. That seems hardly indicative of a population size. Truthfully, I do not care if I become a bit of a saggy hag after I am done with the breastfeeding business.

Size Matters

2007-10-30T08:40:00.000-07:00

My daughter is 3.5 months old. Last week, she weighed 14 lbs, 15 oz. Whee! I am so excited that she is gaining weight at such a steady pace. It is still amazing to me that my body provided that sustenance for her.

However.

I am frequently getting comments about her weight, how she looks "bigger" for her age, how she is a "big girl", how she will "slim down" once she starts crawling. Why does this bother me?

Because she only weighs one ounce more than my son at the same age. ONE ounce!

Yet, I rarely got such comments about my son's weight. Oh no, folks commented on his hair, his big eyes or how healthy and husky he was. Rarely about his weight.

Good grief - my poor girl is just over 3 months old and already has to worry about her waistline?? This after I was told by a variety of folks throughout my pregnancy that Anjali would probably weigh less than Arun since girls are "always smaller".

I am calling bullshit on this.

Hair. Here, There, Everywhere.

2007-10-24T10:43:00.001-07:00

Yessiree, folks. It is that time of the Post-Partum Year. You are innocently taking a shower, minding your own damned business while rinsing conditioner out of your hair when you notice that big, huge, clumps of your lovely locks are also being rinsed. And even though this is my 2nd go around with this, it is still a little horrifying. Oh My God. There is hair EVERYWHERE. Fortunately, this is perfectly normal at around 3-4 months post-partum and it is NOT caused by breastfeeding, either. According to Kellymom,

Postpartum hair loss is a normal - and temporary - postpartum change that is unrelated to breastfeeding. Most women will return to their usual hair growth cycle between 6 and 12 months after birth.

In other news, there is a wonderful article about co-sleeping titled Shhh...My Child Is Sleeping (in My Bed, Um, With Me)" in the New York Times. As it states, co-sleeping:

".....is far more common than many people think. Nearly 13 percent of parents in the United States slept with their infants in 2000, up from 5.5 percent in 1993, according to a report last month in the journal Infant and Child Development. Countless children start the night in their own beds, only to wake up a few hours later and pad into their parents’ bedrooms, crawling into the bed or curling up nearby on the floor.
Ask parents if they sleep with their kids, and most will say no. But there is evidence that the prevalence of bed sharing is far greater than reported. Many parents are “closet co-sleepers,” fearful of disapproval if anyone finds out, notes James J. McKenna, professor of anthropology and director of the Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory at the University of Notre Dame."

This was a pretty standard, catch-all co-sleeping article, but I thought it was still interesting to read. In particular, I LOVE the title and the fact that it addressed the perceived shame/embarrassment parents feel when having to "admit" they co-sleep. I still suffer a bit from this embarrassment, even 2 years later.

Also, I would like to clarify something - yes, I am a huge co-sleeping advocate. However, I cannot claim that co-sleeping is always easy. It is not. There are some nights when I wish my kids would just sleep by themselves already. Furthermore, we are having a tremendous amount of trouble getting my son to sleep these days. Let me stress the "getting to sleep" part, once he is asleep, he is doing fine. It is the "getting there" that is pushing us to some dark, dark places. It could be a lot of things - he is hitting a developmental explosion of language. He is cutting some molars. He has a new sister. He just started a Mother's Day Out program a month ago. And he is two. Did I mention that? I am not sure what the solution is, but I will say that co-sleeping has totally saved our sanity. It is hard enough to deal with all of this, I cannot imagine doing it sleep deprived.

Nutrionally Deficient

2007-10-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

Bah Humbug. This is like the 3rd or 4th time that I have heard Allison Sweeney, the Days of Our Lives star and host of the Biggest Loser, go on and on about infant nutrition and in the same breath mention Gerber. Coincidence? No, she is a spokesperson for Gerber. For example, in the interview, she says:

He almost never has processed sugar, but we always have fresh fruits around. And I love that the Graduates snacks are his favorites because they are so easy to take with me on the go, because it's also important to have a snack available so that a) he doesn't get moody! And b) we aren't stuck with needing to get fast-food.

and

Ben loves peas and corn. Gerber taught me that you have to let them try foods at least 10 times if not more before they might grow to like certain foods, so not to give up too easily.

I wish I had something profound to say, but I do not. I simply find it sad and false for a celebrity to use what is purported to be a personal interview as a vehicle to pimp a product.

Semantics

2007-10-12T16:32:00.000-07:00

In our house, we have 3 types of milk:
Mama's milk
Cow's milk
Soymilk

Part of me feels as if I should just say "milk" for my own milk, but I also do not want to create any confusion when he is out and about.

In other news, I was lying on my side on the floor playing with Arun the other night. He ran over my nipple with his car.

Oh. My. God. The agony. It is a good thing he is weaned because I suspect Right Girl will be holding a grudge over this.

Feed me!

2007-10-10T19:34:00.000-07:00

I have my own little Audrey Jr. in the house these days.

When one says "experienced" mom, it only means you know slightly more than you did the 1st time around. And not much more. Trust me on this, Grasshopper.

My sweet, adorable, easy-going baby morphed into a fussy, demanding little gremlin overnight conveniently as her daddy boarded an airplane for a week-long business trip. Her behaviour had me totally baffled until my friend Mojavi pointed out that Anjali was probably hitting her 3 month growth spurt.

Lightbulb? It is On, baby.

Kellymom has some great info on this and yes, it appears that Anjali is probably in the throes of her 3 month growth spurt. The site also mentions this can happen when a baby is hitting a new developmental milestone. Can you say "rolling over", kiddies? She has been able to get to her side quite easily for awhile now, but is working on the stomach. I feel like telling her to not bother because that would just only serve to piss her off. Particularly considering how she loathes tummy time anyway.....

However, babies these days? Do not listen to their mothers.

Taking Sides

2007-10-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Which side do you prefer to nurse on?

Personally, I prefer my Right Girl. For whatever reason, when I am nursing Anjali while galavanting around the house, this leaves my left hand free to do things like surfing the web, opening doors for cats, stirring cooking pots, answering phones, handling remote controls, sending text messages, turning pages on open books, and feeding ravenous toddlers. I also like nursing on my Right Girl while sleeping. I will even "schedule" nursing on my Left Girl to ensure that we will be ready for the Right Girl to pony up the nighttime nursing so that I can snooze for that 5am feeding. Because Sleep? She is Sacred.

However, I am a right handed. It seems sort of weird that I would prefer my left hand to be free while my Right Girl is busy. Odd.

Got Milk?

2007-10-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, Batman. I was pumping on Saturday while reading a book. I looked down and had well over 5 ounces. I do not pump very often, so I was a little shocked.

So, we gave Anjali her first bottle that evening. It actually went okay. Our son only took a bottle under extreme duress or from my cousin the babysitter. So, we have been scarred from that experience and dreaded giving Anjali a bottle. However, Anjali is quickly earning her title as The Easy Baby and took well to the bottle as well. She sucked down 2 ounces like nobody's business.

It may seem odd that we waited 12 weeks to give Anju her first bottle, but really, we had no reason to hassle with it otherwise. However, in a few weeks I have a social event coming up that I would really prefer to go to sans progeny, so it is best to start with the bottle now.

Here are some tips for giving your baby a bottle. These are my tips, nothing "expert". If you have any to offer, I am most certainly open to ideas.

Do not wait until the baby is ravenous, begin with the bottle about the time the baby is just getting hungry.
It is best if someone other than the nursing mother give the bottle. Trust me on this. It is even better if the nursing mother can leave the room.
When inserting the nipple of the bottle, point it towards the baby's palate to urge/stimulate the baby to suck.
Try feeding the baby while the baby is sitting in a bouncy chair or highchair. This is the one that will drive grandmothers NUTS because they want to HOLD the baby. However, if a baby is being held while eating, he/she may expect her mother. My husband always had the best luck while our son was in the bouncy chair.
If possible, borrow nipples/bottles from friends, then you will have a wide selection to test to figure out which your baby takes best rather than investing a chunk of change in one kind.

Here are some other great links for bottle feeding.
Breastfeeding.com
Dr. Sears
BabyCentre UK (Yes, this is the UK site, which I have always preferred to the US site, quite frankly. It is in the "formula" section, but still has good tips for breastfeeders. Particularly someone like me who little experience giving babies bottles)

The Littlest Foodie of All

2007-09-28T17:37:00.000-07:00

I have been neglectful of this space, but I thought I would just check in with this:

One memory that I will always treasure from my days of breastfeeding is that of a little hairy noggin totally scoping my breasts with his/her nose while snorting and snuffing until he/she gets latched on and that relief of my milk letting down. Then, oh then.....the little noises of contentment and soft noises of swallowing and sucking. Those sweet, lovely, precious noises. That is what I will treasure most from these breastfeeding days. Always.

I love that this early on, my babies can totally enjoy their food source and that it can also be a source of comfort without worrying for potential need for therapy or Weight Watchers in the future. My son was a total Foodie when it came to Mama's Milk and nursed to 15 months....but now? He is a perfectly independent toddler who loves his food on a plate and thinks a fork is fucking COOL, yo.

Do not ever let anyone act like your child can become too "attached" to your breast. Instead, cherish it for what is is.

Nature at its very brightest.

Not Forgotten

2007-09-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

I have not forgotten this place. In short, Arun is cutting 2 year molars and I am working on a project for my husband's new business he is building. I was very disappointed that I could not submit something for the Breastfeeding Carnival on Sleep. I had a draft I was working on, but ironically, two straight nights of Twin Terrors fighting the entire subject of sleep left me with no time to finish it. Again, the irony is killing me softly. Sigh.

Regarding "not posting", the other quandary I have is this: I am not sure what the crossover is in the readership here in relation with the power bloggers. I am assuming that if you read this site, you are reading other breastfeeding bloggers as well. I try my best to not post the same material and it is frustrating sometimes. Last Friday, as I went to bed, I had grandiose plans to post about Bill Maher and his breastfeeding diatribe that I had just watched live, but The Lactivist had already posted about it by Saturday. No, it is not a competition, but rather my desire to not send duplicate topics to everyone's feed readers.

Anyway, in other news...........
Sophie Currier lost her case - the Brookline MA medical student had sued to be allowed extra time to pump breast milk while taking the medical board exam. She must take and pass the exam before she can graduate and begin a residency program.

In a three-page opinion, Norfolk Superior Court Judge Patrick Brady said Currier could still find a way to expel her milk during the test or on regularly scheduled breaks.

"The plaintiff may take the test and pass, notwithstanding what she considers to be unfavorable conditions," Brady wrote. "The plaintiff may delay the test, which is offered numerous times during the year, until she has finished her breast-feeding and the need to express milk."

Currier�s lawyer, Christine Smith Collins, said she will appeal the decision to a state court of appeals judge, who could still issue a ruling before Currier takes the exam next Monday.

I am a licensed CPA and have taken the CPA exam -- therefore, I feel for Currier. To face a grueling test and to have to worry about pumping and not disrupting my milk supply? I cannot imagine. I find it difficult to believe that the exam board could not find a way to accommodate her in a way that would have served as a disadvantage to others taking the exam.

AAP Approved Medicines for Nursing Mothers

2007-09-16T14:31:00.000-07:00

I have had an upset stomach all day and for the first time in years, Pepto-Bismol appeared to be in order.

Or not.

According to Kelly Mom via the Selected List of Medications approved by the AAP for use in breastfeeding mothers, Pepto-Bismol is NOT approved for breastfeeding mothers. Crap. Of course, I bothered to look this up AFTER I had already taken 2 doses. Timed with the nursing sessions and the doses (which were spaced far apart), Anjali will be fine. However, this is an excellent reminder for all breastfeeding mothers to reconsider consuming even the most innocuous of medicines.

In other words, be not an idiot such as me. Cripes.

It is not only your girls that need support.

2007-09-13T13:21:00.000-07:00

Week 9
You may need support, too! All too often, new mothers spend scads of time hunting for the perfect nursing bra or post-partum clothing, but neglect to find support for the task of new motherhood, including breastfeeding.

So, I went to my hospital's breastfeeding support group yesterday. This is the same group that I attended for the first 13 months after Arun was born - in fact, I made a really, really good friend through the group. In attending that group, I realized how important it was for experienced moms to keep going even after they had breastfeeding down pat in order to support the new moms coming down the pike. I have only been once before with Anjali thus far - it is a little stressful to take Arun. He is so in love with his own "da bay-BEE" that to see even more "da bay-BEEs" is just too much temptation for his grubby fingers. Anyway, attending the group yesterday was awesome. There were a few other mothers there like me from the "Two Under Two" crowd. It was such a relief to hear I am not the only one whose patience is not her virtue. Also, there was another mother there whose baby is a Grazer like Anjali. It has been frustrating because Arun was such a quick eater, I am still not used to the lackadaisical effort Anjali puts into her meals. It takes longer to feed her and I have really fouled up scheduling more than once by not allowing enough time to take care of her nursing needs. Anyway, I am definitely going to be attending the group regularly and it will be easier once Arun begins his nursery school. I specifically put him in Wednesday mornings so I could attend the breastfeeding support group.

Overall, things are going well. Anjali weighs a whopping 12 lbs, 10 oz. It is absolutely awe-inspiring to think that my body magically produced the nutrition for her like that. All I had to do was eat healthily and make the commitment to feed her regularly. I am very grateful for my body in that respect when I see so many other mothers struggle with their milk supply. I try not to take it for granted.

Mood wise, I am doing okay. The past week, I have seen glimpses of my Old Self. The same gal who before this most recent pregnancy was very excited to take on Life. I am still planning on not taking the Zoloft because I feel this is a very mild/moderate depression anyway. I wish I could go into details, but the short version is that some of the side effects coupled with my personal and family history had me concerned. I would rather deal with the demon I can see, rather than one who may or may not show his face.

I want to be clear, very clear, that I am not against Zoloft or any other anti-depressant. If I were to give advice on the topic of post-partum depression, I would only urge you to take it seriously, push back any shame you may feel and to discuss it carefully with your doctor, your partner and yourself. What are your risk factors? How severe is your depression? Do you feel you are at risk for harming yourself or others? And finally, what are you comfortable with facing? I was simply more comfortable facing what I could already see. That's all.

Dandelion Whine.

2007-09-08T14:07:00.000-07:00

Formula companies strike again.

This Washington Post article details how the Human and Health Services department toned down a series of ads that promoted breastfeeding after the powerful formula company lobby pressured them to do so.

In an attempt to raise the nation's historically low rate of breast-feeding, federal health officials commissioned an attention-grabbing advertising campaign a few years ago to convince mothers that their babies faced real health risks if they did not breast-feed. It featured striking photos of insulin syringes and asthma inhalers topped with rubber nipples.
Plans to run these blunt ads infuriated the politically powerful infant formula industry, which hired a former chairman of the Republican National Committee and a former top regulatory official to lobby the Health and Human Services Department. Not long afterward, department political appointees toned down the campaign.
The ads ran instead with more friendly images of dandelions and cherry-topped ice cream scoops, to dramatize how breast-feeding could help avert respiratory problems and obesity. In a February 2004 letter (pdf), the lobbyists told then-HHS Secretary Tommy G. Thompson they were "grateful" for his staff's intervention to stop health officials from "scaring expectant mothers into breast-feeding," and asked for help in scaling back more of the ads.

Again, I don't judge mothers that use formula, but I DO judge formula companies and their nefarious corporate practices.

I also came across this OpEd piece that had some fun snarky commentary on our society talking about breastfeeding titled Talking About (Blush) Breastfeeding:

Meanwhile the nation’s mothers spend nearly $3 billion on breast milk substitutes. Not needing breasts any longer to protect kids’ health, they merrily spend another $1 billion on enhancing them, so they look great.

All with the encouragement of your friendly Bush administration and their consumer-friendly motto:

“Better Things for Better Living Through Dissembling.”

Zoloft and Breastfeeding

2007-08-31T21:04:00.000-07:00

I am still not convinced that taking Zoloft is the way to go for me since I am fairly certain this will pass eventually. I would rather ride it out by trying the diet and exercise route before committing to something more serious. Frankly, I hesitated even posting about it, but decided to go ahead in light of the long history of women struggling alone.

There is no shame in numbers.

I'd like to personally thank Andi from Mama Knows Breast for sending me some awesome linkage about taking Zoloft while breastfeeding (Note: the search cannot be directly linked to because it expires. My search string was "breastfeeding and Zoloft"). She also mentioned that Dr. Thomas Hale, a pharmacology expert, had ranked it an L2 drug (L1 being safest, L5 being the most unsafe). I found this link on Kellymom regarding Dr. Hale's view on Zoloft. Also, Jen at The Lactivist also has some great information regarding breastfeeding and Zoloft. In short, taking Zoloft while breastfeeding appears to be safe for both mother and child - obviously, you would need to discuss this with your doctor if contemplating this path.

Regardless, I am comforted knowing that if things get worse and I don't feel I can go it alone that Zoloft will be an option.

Depression: It's depressing.

2007-08-31T11:12:00.000-07:00

When I first learned that Owen Wilson had attempted suicide, my heart went out to him. I am not a particular fan of Wilson's, but suicide attempts always, always get to me. Years ago, I went through some dark days myself. Therefore, I am well acquainted with that pressing sense of despair and loss of hope for the future. I remember lonely nights spent planning and contemplating. The Note was written, but not sent. Fortunately, I was able to work through it. And I certainly hope Wilson does.

One thing I am extremely grateful for in my life right now is my children and my husband. I don't think the days are going to darken to the extent where I will be writing The Note - I won't let it get to that extent because I DO have hope. After all, I see The Future every single day in a certain pair of brown-hazelish gemstone eyes. And now, a second set of eyes have upped the ante in this poker game of Life.

But still. The sadness lingers. I saw the doctor today for my post-partum checkup and it was a bit of a disaster coordinating the kids what with their crying and all. I ended up crying myself and I did admit that I've been struggling emotionally lately. Fortunately, my doctor knows me well enough to know when I am serious. At one point, I confessed that I feel guilty for being so damned sad when I don't have any real problems. I have several friends right now who do have real problems. Why am I being such a wimp about this? She pointed out that "depression doesn't know problems".

I left the office with a prescription for Zoloft.

I am not happy about this, but I am also not happy about being Not Happy. Still. I am hesitant to just immediately start popping pills. I looked at the side effects for Zoloft and am leery of some of them. I am going to think about it over the weekend, but at this point, I am thinking I would rather concentrate on getting my lifestyle in order with more exercise and better eating.

At a minimum, I think some chocolate covered Choxie Pistachios are in order.

Are you sleeping?

2007-08-28T13:20:00.001-07:00

Tanya at the Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog has an excellent post about a book by Dr. James McKenna's titled, Sleeping with Your Baby. It's a book chockful of useful facts about the benefits of co-sleeping. I've written many times about my ignorance of co-sleeping and my reluctance to embrace it before I had my son. However, once I learned the benefits of co-sleeping, I never looked back.

I can't express how incredibly important co-sleeping has been for me. In short, it's saved my sanity and these past few weeks as I've dealt with some major post-partum blues have only served to verify that for me. I'm through the tunnel now, but I can't even imagine how much worse it could have been had I been sleep deprived. The first week with Anjali was the usual tough one with a newborn - every feeding required a diaper change, she was still too small for me to nurse while lying down and I was still recovering the birth. However, since the 2nd week, I haven't really lost that much sleep unless we're suffering from colds or I eat Greek food or ice cream (which disturbs her tummy just as much as it did Arun's. Sigh.)

As rabid of a co-sleeping advocate I am, it's not that I think everyone should absolutely, positively sleep with their children. No. Quite the opposite - not everyone is cut out for it, even babies. For example, my younger sister could not, would not, sleep with my dad and step-mom. She simply slept best on her own despite their efforts to get her to sleep with them. However, I wish more folks would at least consider co-sleeping and at a minimum, become more knowledgeable. I am tired of the tragic stories being trafficked that portray co-sleeping as dangerous. I am tired of folks pressing their lips firmly together when I "confess" my co-sleeping sins.

I will definitely be reading this book. It's almost as if I see at my personal mission to help end the myths and ignorance that surround co-sleeping.

Mama Knows Breast: A Book Review

2007-08-27T06:44:00.000-07:00

Correction: Oops! There IS an index. My bad!

On Thursday, I received a copy of Mama Knows Breast: A Beginner's Guide to Breastfeeding by Andi Silverman. By Friday evening, I had finished it after just two sittings.

In short, this is a quick, easy, interesting read that will make an excellent gift for a mother - new or experienced. The author has an engaging tone and a moderate, non-judgmental voice that should make any mother feel at ease, even if she ends up supplementing or not breastfeeding at all. I would feel totally comfortable giving this as a gift, without feeling pushy towards the mother.

The book is divided into 8 chapters that cover the topics of pros/cons, basic breastfeeding instructions, pumping/supply maintenance information, breastfeeding etiquette, spousal support, sex, public nursing, and finally, weaning. This little gem is small, compact and easily held in one hand. Despite its small size, it still can get you through the entire process of breastfeeding - from the first latch to the last.

There were a few things I found lacking. This book can't be used as an "end all, be all" reference - it covers the highlights, but it doesn't have an index (I am a total Index Whore - I love me a good index). To make up for the lack of an index, it does provide an ample list of extra online resources, though. I also was disappointed in the paragraph regarding co-sleeping - it was a few sentences, mostly which served to highlight the dangers, rather than the benefits. Considering that co-sleeping can go a long way in supporting a breastfeeding mother, I'd like to see more about this in a future edition.

However, overall, I just loved this book and declare it to be an Inhaler * . The illustrations are quirky and the text is light and humorous. I enjoyed that because breastfeeding can be very stressful, scary and downright painful to a new mother. Per my quick Amazon searches, there simply aren't any fun, positive books regarding breastfeeding. Who wants to read a textbook if they don't have to? I'd rather have a friend holding my hand - and this book does just that by walking you through it in a reassuring and comforting manner.

Again, I think this would be a great, unique gift for a mother planning to breastfeed, which is why I posted it here over at Rancid Raves as well as here.

*in-hal-er
noun
1. A book so compelling or suspenseful that it must be consumed immediately in only a few sittings.
2. A book so easy and enjoyable to read that it can quickly be consumed in only a few sittings.

Dear Diary: Nursing a newborn in public with a todder sorta sucks

2007-08-23T11:45:00.001-07:00

Pun not intended.

I am totally comfortable breastfeeding in public. Do I relish it? For the most part, no. Oh sure, I have many pleasant memories of nursing my son in various parks and beaches. My favorite memories of public nursing are in San Francisco and Boston, for sure. However, nursing a newborn while keeping an eye on a 21 month toddler is vexing, to say the least. While Anjali is latched on for dear life, Arun is running around like a mad man. It becomes a very tenuous game of keeping him near me and keeping her latched on. It's not too bad for situations and places where I am familiar with the surroundings and can have a game plan. A particular childen's discovery center we go to, Wonderscope, has a toddler area that is contained. Arun can run free, but can't actually escape too far. I just plan to breastfeed while we are in that area. The malls are a bit trickier. We have one mall that has a nice nursing area in the Nordstrom's store. The problem is this - while I don't mind, I know gals who are not comfortable going into fancy-schmancy department stores and therefore, may be intimidated by using the Nordstrom's mother's room. The other mall nearby has a play area in the food court that is somewhat contained. However, it is crowded, noisy and often full of obnoxious kids not being supervised by their parents. Every single time I am there, I have to jump up at least a few times to save Arun from getting pummeled. And I do NOT feel comfortable nursing in my car in most places - even my local Target. I feel like a sitting duck for purse snatchers and carjackers. It doesn't help that 2 years ago, a guy died in our Target parking lot because a purse snatcher ran him over with a car.

Today was stressful - we went to the Children's Museum of Kansas City. Not only was there NO contained place to nurse Anjali, the museum is located in a mall as well. I was able to keep Arun contained in the stroller by chucking chunks of Larabar at him, but it was stressful once the Larabar was finished since I had forgotten to throw some Hot Wheels into the daypack.

Still, breastfeeding overall is easier to do while on the go. I can't imagine having to pack formula, bottles, etc. When we head out the door, I just pack water and a few Larabars in the daypack - then, we shoot out the door.

Two for the price of one

2007-08-20T12:19:00.000-07:00

Caro has an excellent, entertaining post about the Unforeseen benefits of nursing a toddler through and beyond pregnancy.

Although my toddler weaned about 6 months before my newest kid was born, I was still able to relate to much of this post. She is correct in that the less amount of time there is between weaning and birth of the new child, that will translate into a smaller amount of time for your milk to come in. I nursed Arun into my 2nd trimester and my lactation consultant did tell me that my milk would come in earlier with Anjali - which it did. In Caro's case, there was NO time between weaning and birthing, so her milk came in a mere 18 hours after birth! Also, I think Caro is right in that there seems to be less nipple soreness with all the nursing so close together. That and the fact that an experienced mother has the latch and positioning down pat.

Anyway, it's very encouraging to see such a smooth transition for everyone involved!

The Milky Way.

2007-08-16T13:01:00.001-07:00

Bryan over at Sympathy Pain has linked to a great article on how we gals go about making breastmilk. Definitely go over to Bryan's site and check it out! The only comment I have about the article is that it says the following:During the first days of nursing, you may feel some cramps in your abdomen as your baby sucks. This usually mild discomfort signals the release of oxytocin, which helps shrink your uterus back to its pre-pregnancy size.

Mild discomfort? That's putting it mildly!! For me, the initial cramping like that was VERY painful. Not quite as bad as early labor, but far worse than menstrual cramps.

Next, I want to discuss semantics - what do you call all the different kinds of milk in your house? We have soymilk, cow's milk and mama's milk. I want my son to be clear and as such, I call them all by their "proper" names. In a related note, he calls food in general by the word "bop-poo" (we think it stems from his word for "apple" which is "bappull"). Even before Anjali was born, he would point to my breasts and say "bop-poo", so we think he may remember or have an inkling that he used to eat from them, too. However, he calls ALL nipples "bop-poo", so the poor kid has A LOT to learn.

Beer, Babes and Boobs

2007-08-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

As I was writing a post about beer on another site, I realized that folks may question a breastfeeding mother who openly admits she consumes alcohol.

The La Leche League is very clear about its stance on alcohol consumption for a breastfeeding mother.

The effects of alcohol on the breastfeeding baby are directly related to the amount the mother ingests. When the breastfeeding mother drinks occasionally or limits her consumption to one drink or less per day, the amount of alcohol her baby receives has not been proven to be harmful.

Dr. Jack Newman, member of the LLLI Health Advisory Council, says this in his handout "More Breastfeeding Myths":

Reasonable alcohol intake should not be discouraged at all. As is the case with most drugs, very little alcohol comes out in the milk. The mother can take some alcohol and continue breastfeeding as she normally does. Prohibiting alcohol is another way we make life unnecessarily restrictive for nursing mothers.

Also, the ole "Pump n' Dump" maneuver is not needed. Your body produces milk in a quasi-JIT environment - pumping n' dumping does not get rid of the alcohol any faster:

As alcohol leaves the bloodstream, it leaves the breastmilk. Since alcohol is not "trapped" in breastmilk (it returns to the bloodstream as mother's blood alcohol level declines), pumping and dumping will not remove it. Pumping and dumping, drinking a lot of water, resting, or drinking coffee will not speed up the rate of the elimination of alcohol from your body.

Obviously, the message is not that a breastfeeding mother should go tie one on at her local pub. However, it seems clear to me that she should be able to enjoy an alcoholic beverage of her choice while relaxing and watching the latest episode of her favorite polygamists. Say, a pint of Boulevard Lunar, perhaps?

Does your milk smell like soap?

2007-08-15T12:12:00.001-07:00

Over the weekend, a breastfeeding friend of mine expressed concern that her milk smelled "soapy" - as if she hadn't rinsed out the bottle enough. I told her that she perhaps had an issue with the enzyme lipase and would need to scald the milk before freezing it. Unfortunately, that was ALL I could tell her - I didn't know what caused it, for example. So, of course, Dr. Google came to my rescue and directed me towards Kelly Mom. Basically, all human milk has lipase, but some of us gals simply have more of it - I've always suspected I had this issue, but since my son rarely took a bottle, I never bothered to worry about it much.

Anyway, per Kelly Mom, the solution is simple:

To scald milk:

* Heat milk to about 180 F (82 C), or until you see little bubbles around the edge of the pan (not to a full, rolling boil).
* Quickly cool and store the milk.

Scalding the milk will destroy some of the antiinfective properties of the milk and may lower some nutrient levels, but this is not likely to be an issue unless all of the milk that baby is receiving has been heat-treated.

Five Breastfeeding Mistakes

2007-08-13T09:06:00.000-07:00

My husband had told me about this article, but failed to send the link. Which, hello - not helpful. Then, my friend Alicia thoughtfully sent it - thank you! Because these fingers are too lazy to start walking all over CNN.com in search of the article. Know what I mean?

Anyway, the article highlights some common breastfeeding mistakes - here are the "short n' sweets". The article provides more details.....

Mistake 1: Moms go it alone
Solution: Get out of the house -- fast

Mistake 2: Moms forget about their successful breast-feeding friends
Solution: Invite one over

Mistake 3: Moms assume they don't have enough milk
Solution: Rethink your baby's nursing behavior

Mistake 4: Moms get intimidated breast-feeding in public
Solution: Have snappy comebacks at the ready

Mistake 5: Moms panic when milk doesn't gush out
Solution: Realize that at the very beginning, you're not going to see a lot of milk

After reading this, it highlighted even more so how fortunate I was in my experience. Not only did I have my sister, but I also had a good friend who was active in her Leche League group - both my sister and my friend were just a phone call away. Even if I had not had such awesome lactation consultants at my hospital, I was still a bit ahead of the game in the way of support.

In short, if you are a new mother the moral of the story is "Buddy Up to Your Buddies".

Breastfeeding Style

2007-08-09T07:59:00.001-07:00

In one of my favorite Wise Baby Tomes, Baby 411, the author explains 5 different breastfeeding styles on page 100:
1. The Barracuda - This little guy attacks the breast and gets down to business. Mom's nipples sometimes pay the price for this style. Be prepared.

2. The Excited Ineffective - Yes, this is the baby who is so excited to eat that he loses his latch. Calming, then reattempting to latch helps until baby figures out the routine.

3. The Procrastinator - The baby who waits until the milk lets down to bother with eating. There is no rush. Be patient and keep trying.

4. The Gourmet - She must mouth the nipples, have a taste test, then begin. Again, there is no need to rush. Let her do her thing.

5. The Rester - He takes his own sweet time. He eats for a few minutes, rests, then continues. He will eventually finish the meal and eat well but you can encourage him by rubbing his back or head.

My son was a Barracuda. He always got right down to business and ate quite quickly. Anjali? Um, not so much. She is definitely a Rester. Couple this with the fact that she likes to comfort nurse and basically, she would be happy to just suck ALL DAY LONG. It's been an adjustment for me, to say the least. There's been several times when I've pulled her off and got ready to head out the door when she made it quite clear that she was NOT done eating. I am still learning that I need to give her PLENTY o' time to do her business.

Totally Tangential: Regarding Wise Baby Tomes, I also swear by Toddler 411. Toddler 411 continues where Baby 411 leaves off - hands down, these two books are the ones I would own if I could only have two. They have absolutely everything you need for your child up to about kindergarten in 2 concise volumes that are easy to read, entertaining (you'll laugh out loud) and most importantly, are conveniently organized as a reference tool. The overall tone of these two books is that of a "Hey, you'll be okay, Grasshopper." -- a tone that is comforting and reassuring.

My other favorite parenting tome is the excellent The Science of Parenting - I enjoy this book because I am fascinated by the biology of what's going on with babies and toddlers. There are often valid reasons for what they do simply because their little brains and nervous systems are still developing, yet we desperately want them to act like little, logical adults. This book goes a long way in explaining why parents need to manage their expectations regarding what their Precious Progeny is actually capable of doing at their particular developmental stages.

Good Grief

2007-08-07T13:28:00.001-07:00

This article covers the recent controversy with Katie Price giving an interview where she totally puts down breastfeeding. The article includes photos of Katie feeding her baby with a specific brand of formula which apparently, violates a UK law where the promotion of formula for children under 6-months of age is prohibited. In the OK! article, Price is quoted as saying

It's brilliant -- I have 20 crates of teats and bottles. I don't have to sterilize or heat anything, you literally take the teat out of the pack, screw it on, throw it away. I don't care what people say - you don't have to breast-feed. They gave me a tablet that dries your milk up so my boobs haven't hurt or leaked or anything. I don't want a baby drinking from me -- the thought of it makes me feel really funny. I think only a certain person could handle my knockers!

Good grief, for someone who is supposed to be comfortable with her body image, this reeked of issues. Normally, I put these articles underneath "celebrating celebrities" but frankly, there is nothing to be celebrated in such a piece. It makes me angry to think of how many young girls who idolize Price will be reading this article and will come away with a negative image of breastfeeding.

Growing up

2007-08-06T13:21:00.001-07:00

Last night, I went to the La Leche League fundraiser to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week. I didn't know a soul there, but at a minimum, I thought my son would have fun. We had a great time and I met some new people. I will definitely be looking into joining one of the chapters in my area.

Before I had children of my own, I had a distorted perception of the La Leche League. Some of this perception was based on media, some based on personal experiences. By the time I figured out that the League would actually be a good fit for me, I was already involved in the breastfeeding support group at my hospital. I didn't really have the time to get involved in something else an the support group was enough for me. However, this time around with my daughter, the support group at my hospital probably won't work for us unless I can get my son into a specific day for his mother's day out program. Simply, it's too difficult to drag an active toddler to the support group. The support group is comprised mostly of new mothers and frankly, most new mothers are leery of a grabby toddler around their newborns. I understand that and to be respectful, don't feel comfortable taking Arun there now. So, I will be looking into the La Leche League as an alternative. And after last night's activity, am looking forward to joining something new.

I wonder what other ill-conceived perceptions have held me back from new experiences?

Look at what the Stork brought in.

2007-08-03T13:19:00.000-07:00

Stork magazine has a very cool article with photos featuring model Jessica Hebert breastfeeding her daughter. My favorite photo is the one of Jessica and her daughter with both of them completely naked. It was so artfully done and is simply beautiful.

Stork also has a great article titled Latching on to a Lactation Consultant which provides helpful information for finding a good consultant. As the articles states,

You may want to consider some of the following questions: Can you relate to this person, either in terms of personality or lifestyle or both? Do you feel you connect with this person and that she understands a bit about who you are as a person? If she runs a support group, attend that group once when you are still pregnant. Observe the types of questions that are asked and the answers the consultant gives. Does she really listen to the women in the group? Does she seem to give individualized advice or generalized bits of information to the new mothers? Much like a great personal trainer, a good consultant will help you define your breastfeeding style and meet your breastfeeding goals. She should be confident, creative, considerate and cheer you on. Don’t settle for less than that at this fragile time.

I can't agree more with the premise that you should find someone with whom you click. I've heard so many stories about new mothers not getting along with their LC and that can really hamper a new mother's efforts towards breastfeeding. I was fortunate in that I really got on quite well with both of the consultants at my hospital - I can't imagine how much more stressful it could have been had I not cared for them.

A few good things.

2007-08-02T13:18:00.000-07:00

The Pool
Remember the baby pool? Well, we have a winner! Bethany of Ice Cream Mama came in with the correct guess of 8 lbs, 1 oz. It's a damned shame that ice cream doesn't ship well because we have two awesome local ice cream places here. Congrats, Bethany and I will be contacting you for your particulars so that I can mail your non-melty-like prize. It will be lame, but hey, bragging rights are priceless, no?

NYC Hospitals Remove Formula Samples from Gift Bags
In support of World Breastfeeding Week, NYC hospitals took the forward step of removing formula samples from the free goodie bags that are dispensed to new mothers. As the article goes on to say:

Instead, new mothers will get a tote bag stuffed with disposable nursing pads, a mini-cooler for breast-milk bottles, and pint-sized T-shirts for the babies that proudly declare "I eat at mom's."

Awesome!

News Roundup

2007-08-01T13:16:00.000-07:00

News Roundup
Here's an interesting article about pregnancy advice regarding alcohol consumption - it gives a nice perspective of how some Europeans regard the issue.

An article on Why Women Don't Nurse Longer. A pretty standard article that lists all the usual reasons.

And great scott - here's yet another article about co-sleeping. Confession time: These articles piss me off (is that language allowed here???). Sleeping with my children feels so right and natural - it boggles my mind how the "experts" declare it to be unsafe. Yes, have some common sense - don't crowd your kid out with comforters and pillows, don't go to bed drunk and if you are heavily overweight, don't sleep with your children. But for the rest of us? Co-sleeping can go MILES in comforting parents AND babies. These days, I can't even remember when Anjali wakes up. I don't bother fumbling for my glasses to see the clock because that would be wasted effort. I roll over when she squawks, get her latched on and she begins nursing. At some point, I must pull her off because by the time the sun rises, she is no longer attached to my breast. And truly - I love waking up and seeing her little face furrowed in sleep. Precious. Simply precious. Also, for the record, my own doctor is 100% on board with co-sleeping and even admitted that she thinks parents should sleep with their children, but she would never push that opinion on her patients.

It makes me sad to think of how many parents are afraid to sleep with their own children because of articles such this.

World Breastfeeding Week

2007-07-31T13:14:00.000-07:00

I realize I've been a little self-absorbed these past few weeks. ...ahem.... I've been meaning to mention that World Breastfeeding Week is starting tomorrow, but again - the self-absorption..... Anyway, World Breastfeeding Week starts August 1st and will continue through August 7th - an entire week in which our breasts can reign supreme. Here are some great links regarding the coming week's events:

The World Breastfeeding Week official site explains the premise of the week itself.
The La Leche League site for the week's events as listed state by state. This year's theme is the Power of One - for example, breastfeeding within the 1st hour of birth leads to greater success. There is an event in my area at a local children's museum and I am thinking that would be a great activity for us this Sunday evening.
Andi at Mama Knows Breast is reporting that Colleen at My Baby and More is challenging folks to give away their breastfeeding books via Bookcrossing. What a cool idea for passing along knowledge.

The Little Things

2007-07-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

Around Friday, I could definitely detect a downswing in my mood. No, I'm not talking post-partum depression, but I was afraid I was facing a case of the Baby Blues. It hasn't gotten too bad and I am just trying to keep on top of it so that it doesn't get the best of me. How do I do that? It's the little things. Everyday, I make a few goals for myself - it might be just a small laundry list of household chores and errands, but for me, having a definable list of things to do makes me feel good. To accomplish a small set of things allows me to relax later in the day when they are finished. I also bought a load of Choxie Chocolates when I was at Target - quality chocolate for not a large price. They come in small packages, so I don't go overboard - a few pieces here and there with a glass of milk is a treat, but not a guilt-laden one. On Saturday, I bought some flowers - nothing expensive, they were $9 and the type to last at least a week. I am doing my best to keep the house reasonably clean because I know a mess gets me down - really DOWN. I've been scheduling outings with friends and family. I've also been carving time for my favorite hobbies that relax me - my books and my knitting. Conversely, I've limited my TV time and let the DVR fill up because I know that TV generally doesn't make me feel good.

And most importantly, I am making a point to just sit and hang out with my kids. When I am breastfeeding, I really use that time to talk to my son (even if he is watching TV, I'll talk about what is going on in the program), read books to him or just snuggle with both of them. This is when I really, really appreciate being able to exclusively breastfeed, because it forces me to sit down and focus on my kids. The dishes, laundry and the bazillion other things can wait.

So, no - I don't see post-partum depression lingering, but possibly some garden-variety Baby Blues. This happened with my son and I know from experience that it needs to be cut at the quick before it takes over. And for me, it's the little things that keep my head above water while I tread the current moves me to safer water.

The Weight of the World

2007-07-27T13:10:00.000-07:00

One of the benefits touted regarding breastfeeding is the fact that it can help you lose your baby weight more quickly. With my son, I gained 22 lbs and was back to my pre-pregnancy weight by 3 weeks post-partum. With my daughter, I gained 19.5 lbs and am back to my pre-pregnancy weight at 2 weeks post-partum. However, the body does get all "shifty" on you after having a baby AND my uterus still has not shrunk all the way. I'd be a liar if I didn't say the capris I am wearing aren't a teeny bit snug. Still, I can't complain. To be able to shed maternity clothes this early in the game is a HUGE boost for tackling the Baby Blues Funk I feel coming on. More about that next week.........

Trapped, Wrapped

2007-07-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

I really appreciated the honesty in the comments in my "Trapped" post. Unfortunately, I honed in on the breastfeeding aspect without looking at the big picture. Your comments made me think more about the issue and what I take for granted - the fact that I do feel comfortable nursing in public and that I am a bit of a homebody anyway.

Oh, and talk about feeling trapped. I've been trying to write this post for some time now and have written most of it with my left hand only at a snail's pace since my right arm has been occupied for most of the afternoon. And holy cow. The other kid just woke up as the new kid just fell asleep. Trapped? Perhaps.

By the way, I like my crow with a side of garlic roasted mashed potatoes, please.

One day at a time.

2007-07-25T13:08:00.000-07:00

Today is one of those days where both kids are totally tag teaming me. Seriously. It's not that bad, but it's rare that I have both hands free enough to actually TYPE.

Something meandering in my brain is this:
I was reading a blog of a 20 something gal who is really cool. She was posting about her co-worker keeping breastmilk in the lunchroom fridge and the blogger was seriously grossed out by it. I replied (politely, I think) that it could be considered that cow's milk could be just as gross - have you ever been to a dairy farm? I had a grade school friend who lived on one and I can report there's some nasty stuff going on with the whole bovine thing. Now, if you also read this blogger, please don't mention who it is because I don't want loads of folks flocking to her site (I am emailing her to tell about this post, so NO, there's nothing passive aggressive going on here either), but I think it definitely highlights how serious the Ick Factor is for the general public regarding breastfeeding. The whole thing made me sad.

And sadder yet to realize I probably would have had the same reaction in my swingin' single girl days.

damn. i am back to one-handed typing now.

Trapped

2007-07-24T13:08:00.000-07:00

I came across an article about how breastfeeding can contribute to post-partum depression because a mother can feel "trapped" by all the demands of her new baby. Um, this article just made me sad. Yes, motherhood can make one feel trapped. Any new life change can make someone feel trapped - a new job, a new house, a new husband. But to lay so much blame on breastfeeding? For me, breastfeeding actually made me feel freer in many respects. When I rush out the door to run errands, all I need are diapers and a blanket. When I was traveling coast to coast with my son, I appreciated not having to worry about cups, bottles, formula. Regardless of how breastfeeding makes an individual feel, if a new mother feels trapped by breastfeeding what other aspects of motherhood will make her feel trapped? After all, Breastfeeding is just the very teeny tip of a monumental iceberg of Responsibility that motherhood brings.

Breastfeeding is temporary, much of everything else about motherhood is forever.

Lukewarm Finale: Day 12, 13, 14

2007-07-23T13:06:00.000-07:00

My weekend was totally hijacked by a certain boy wizard. I am going to rely heavily on bullets....

Anjali had a doctor's appointment today - the goal was to reach 8 lbs, 1 oz (her birthweight) by this date - she weighed 8lb, 9oz. If that isn't proof the breastfeeding is going well, I'm not not sure what is. At this point, she is nursing steadily through the day every 2-3 hours. I top her tank off at 11:00pm before I go to bed, then she nurses again around 3:30am (which I mostly sleep through anyway), then she nurses again around 7:30am after which, I hop out of bed and get my precious, precious shower in for the day before Kid #2 starts squawking. I couldn't ask for a better schedule because I can function quite well on this sort of sleep.

After these first 2 weeks, the #1 lesson I would like to impart on new mothers is that yes, YES a good latch is important for decreasing nipple soreness. That and frequently rotating positions. I am still shocked at how little nipple soreness I had this time around and attribute it to proper latch and varied positions.

I'll admit, I am still disappointed that I never found a good solution for engorgement. Yes, there are ways to help relieve the discomfort and pain, but no true solutions, per se. Pumping helped, frequent nursing helped, baggies of cold water in my bra helped, ibuprofen helped..... However, the thing that helped me most was just knowing that it would go away after a day or two. That was it.

No Worries: Day 11

2007-07-20T13:05:00.000-07:00

Regarding the odd bleeding, I did end up talking to a nurse at the hospital last night and she agreed that I should call my doctor, but that it could wait until the morning. Yep, I consulted Dr. Google at around 11pm last night and per usual, Dr. Google had me whipped into a frenzy. I spoke to the doctor this morning and it seems that everything will be fine and that I will live, after all. I am not running a fever, I am not achy or chilly, I am not experiencing abdominal pain or any other pain that is unusual for 11 days post-partum. So, things seem to be good.

Last night was awesome - I nursed Anju at 11pm, read in bed for awhile and was asleep myself by midnight. She woke up at 3am and I was finally able to get a good latch while lying down with her. I slept while she ate and when she was done, I changed her diaper, then quickly got back to sleep. I was up all of 30 minutes, so I was able to wake up at 7:30 and easily fit in my shower before she woke up at 8am.

Speaking of showers, I used to always hear how new mothers wouldn't have time to shower, blah blah. Um, that is one thing I refuse to sacrifice to the motherhood cause. I REFUSE. Even if I am in and out with a quickie 5 Minute Cursory Wipedown, I still get a shower in. If I don't have a shower, that is a sure fire path to the doldrums for me. No thanks!

So, overall, I am actually feeling pretty good. The knowledge that a certain boy wizard is waiting for me at my local Borders makes me feel even better.

Rush Hour: Day 10

2007-07-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

Today really got away from me. I had a friend in town unexpectedly, so I am late getting this out. I haven't seen her since last October, so it was well worth missing a deadline.

A few things:
--Anjali's umbilical cord feel off today. It fell off cleanly, unlike my son's which FREAKED me out because it was very goopy leading me to think that something was seriously wrong. Yet another thing the Wise Baby Tomes don't warn you about.

--I sent off the forms to add Anjali to our insurance - we have 30 days to add her. I wanted to do this in Week 2 to make sure that if there are any issues or additional documentation needed, that I have plenty of time to get it in. We had an issue with my son where I found out when he was EIGHT months old that his insurance forms had been bungled by my husband's company and that my son was uninsured. I spent two restless weeks waiting until it was sorted out. So, yes - I am paranoid about insurance and didn't want to take chances. Normally, I am a huge procrastinator, not this time.

--I have some weird bleeding going on. Um, I hate to get gross, so I won't go into details, but I am a little worried and will be calling the doctor tomorrow. No, I don't think I am hemorrhaging or I would be en route to the hospital, NOT typing this. However, there is something "off" with the smell that has me concerned.

--I guess this is a breastfeeding blog and I should include a tidbit about that, eh? Actually, there is not much to report. It is going fantastic and I am just utterly amazed at it all. I remember with my son that it was a good 2 weeks before things settled down and by the 3rd week, I was totally comfortable with it. I will probably wrap up the Daily Dear Diary at the 2 week mark on Monday. I will still continue the category as things come up, though.

I probably should go. My fingers are itching to consult Dr. Google on this bleeding thing and I just KNOW that would be a mistake.

Silent Night: Day 9

2007-07-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

Wow. Things are going really, really well. Still a little nipple soreness and again, it's my own damned fault for not insisting that Anjali stuff yet more nippled real estate into her teeny gaping maw. I need to work on her latch, basically. The last few nights, she has been getting up around 3 am these days which is annoying because Lou Dobbs is on that time. I'd rather she wait until 4 when Anderson Cooper is on. My husband laughs at me every morning because I regale him with hilarious tales of breaking news that I caught BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. Seriously - I saw the Japanese Earthquake as " breaking news" event when it interrupted whatever it was that I was watching on CNN. I am so cool, no? Anyway - not too bad - I feed her around 11pm, right before I go to bed and then, she's up around 3-4am. It takes about 45-60 minutes to get everything done and then she sleeps until 7:30ish. I am the type of person who can live on sleep in 3 hour increments, so I am not sleep deprived at all, but I can understand where that might not be everyone's cup of tea.

Co-Sleeping
In my previous post, Monica asked about co-sleeping:
Interested in knowing more about the co-sleeping. Does Arun still sleep with you all as well? We do it for naps but not at night. Well, not anymore. My husband indulged me for the first few months.

I have posted about co-sleeping previously here. However, the short story is this - my Indian husband thought it was crazy that we would put our son in a crib or bassinet. So, our son ended up sleeping with us for about the first 13 months, but he now sleeps in his crib. I never could get my son to co-nap. Never. My situation was opposite to most mothers - I was getting good nights of sleep, but in the afternoon spent many an hour sobbing on my couch, eating Choxie Chocolates because Arun would NOT NAP.

I try not to be obnoxious about co-sleeping because I can see where it isn't for everyone. Even for BABIES. My younger sister would not sleep with my dad and step-mom for anything. My brother LOVED sleeping with them. I can report that BOTH of them have extremely strong and healthy attachments to my dad and step-mom. So, truthfully, I don't co-sleep because I think I am getting a jumpstart on attachment. I do it because I like sleeping. Sleeping and I are best buds. I like reading in bed while my baby squeaks and snorts nearby. I like being able to open my eyes in the middle of the night and see that my baby is breathing and alive. And I especially like it when my baby lies there peacefully with his/her eyes wide open, staring into mine. That's all.

Making Rash Decisions: Day 8

2007-07-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

Rash
The rash is improving. I can see now that I am VERY spoiled by my son's hardy butt. I rarely put anything on him - sometimes, he might get a bit red and I will dump Cetaphil Cleanser on it. The Cetaphil is lanolin based and provides a thin protective barrier. But that's all I apply. I bought a tube of Aveeno when he was born, but lost it somewhere. Then I bought a tube of Huggies for "just in case". And that's it. The Cetaphil Cleanser was all we needed. I think what happened with Anju is this:
1. I wasn't changing her diaper enough
2. I mistook the beginnings of a rash for just a bony, red newborn tush
3. Anjali is peeling ALL of her skin right now and I suspect this includes her butt which only exacerbated the problem.

I did do some research on breastfeeding and diaper rash links to determine if something in my diet may have affected her. Dr. Google gave me a TON of information on yeast infections/thrush and diaper rashes but that is definitely not our problem. We definitely don't have thrush going on - her mouth is clear (apparently, white stuff would appear on her tongue and I wouldn't be able to "scrape" it off) and I don't have a yeast infection nor do I have red nipples (apparently, the nipples will turn a bright red in that case). Also, it doesn't appear that my diet would affect her, but feel free to correct me if any of you have differing information. Please!

So, we are applying generous does of Desitin Original Cream with good results. Once it clears up, I will go back to the Cetaphil and use that regularly on her until I determine whether she is just more sensitive or if it was a fluke.

I am definitely having more nipple soreness, but I think that is laziness on getting the good latch on my part. Overall, things are going awesome. She slept 6 hours night before last and 5 hours last night - I let her because she is nursing really, really well, she has plenty of wet AND soiled diapers, and she got in plenty of feedings during the day. I have no complaints.
[tags]breastfeeding, diaper rash, newborn[/tags]

Sleeping Beauty: Day 7

2007-07-16T13:00:00.000-07:00

Update: OOPS. I meant to clarify what I meant by "sleep". I am getting "3 hours between feedings" as opposed to "lying in bed with eyes wide open gazing upon my rock hard breasts" sleep, which for me, isn't really sleeping at all. So, no - my newborn is NOT sleeping through the night!!! Also, we co-sleep, which goes miles in helping me and HER sleep. If I go to bathroom, she will fuss until I come back to bed where she can see me.

Mr Sandman,
My darling, please don't tell my husband about our illicit affair we've been conducting in the wee hours.

Forever yours,
Kelli

Day 6
I am FINALLY sleeping (somewhat) and my breasts are cooperating. The nipple soreness is not that bad, actually. Once she gets latched on, I am pretty comfortable. Honestly? Getting a good latch and changing positions has been the key. I remember excruciating agony with my son to the extent that I dreaded it and even put off breastfeeding til the last possible moment. When he would initially latch on, I would curl my toes and bit my lower lip to distract myself from the pain. This time around I am not facing that. I've heard so many new mothers (um, including yours truly) scoff at the lactation consultant saying "it shouldn't hurt if the latch is good". Gulp. Um, they are right.

And wow. 2 nights of sleep IN A ROW. I feel like a new person. Maybe I AM a new person and perhaps, today I can make it through the ENTIRE day without bursting into tears. And no, it's not all Sad Tears. I am also wont to burst into Boo Hoo Mode over good things happening since as my Sentimental Meter is running full blast these days.

The big problem that I am facing is a diaper rash - fortunately, not on my own butt, but STILL. I did some research on diaper rash and came up with this article from Dr Sears. I am new to this thing called "rash" - my son recently got a rash, but it didn't BLISTER and was easily cleared up. We are trying a variety of creams and obviously, I am changing her diaper everytime I turn around. I wish I could just let her lie on a towel and airdry, but she needs to be swaddled these days. Sigh. A minor thing, sure and I am calling on my good buddy Perspective.

Thy name is Perspective: Day 6

2007-07-14T12:58:00.000-07:00

Last night was bad. REALLY bad. It didn't help that I was very weepy yesterday, too - per the following equation:

(hormones + difficult family situation) x Newborn + Teething Toddler - Sleep = Copious Amounts of Tears

Last night, I was still facing a lot of engorgement and needed to sleep on my back. The problem is that I am a "side and stomach" sleeper. I absolutely cannot sleep on my back. No way. No how. As I gazed upon my sweet newborn sleeping peacefully, I couldn't help but be frustrated. I did give up around 4 am and go downstairs to pump. I was pumping away, then looked down in shock to realize I had pumped 4 ounces in no time, but was still painfully engorged. Yep, I know it's a good problem to have, but it is still a painful one. I think tonight will be better, though - I can feel these bazookas deflating a bit now.

What kept me going is this - Perspective. On my personal site, Rancid Raves, I refer to this quite a bit. Perspective has gotten me through a lot of difficult days as a mother - teething, no naps, illness, long business trips on the part of my husband. Perspective is that ability to realize that all of this is temporary - and it got me through some dark days of motherhood with my son. One day, my baby son would have all of his teeth (only 2 left now). One day, he would nap regularly (check). I knew that one day, my husband would come home (check). And one day, my little boy would be all grown up and I would miss those days when he wanted to be held 24/7 (sob). So, this morning at 5 am while I tossed and turned, I still managed to hold it together emotionally because I knew that this engorgement couldn't last forever.

So, at 8 am when I woke still bleary-eyed, I was able to look into Anju's eyes, see them for the precious gift that they are and smile.

I'm still pretty damned tired, though.

Assume the position: Day 5

2007-07-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

Several commenters made the great point about position. And yes, I did need to branch out from the ole Football Hold. It was difficult, because she was getting such a great latch. However. I am SO engorged right now and my nipples a wee bit sore, that I needed to suck it up and get back to the basics with the Cradle Hold and Lying Down Position. And yes - the new positions are helping. As are the Soothies! Unfortunately, as much as Anjali was taking one for the team, I did still have to get out the pump to help. My husband asked, innocently, why I couldn't just pump myself empty to relieve the engorgement. I managed to not laugh in his face and fortunately, he has a great understanding of that teeny-tiny economics concept known as "supply and demand" so he understood when I explained that you can't "fake your body out" like that or you will pay dearly. I've been pumping a minimum of 2 ozs for relief and to help with the latch, but hopefully not so much to psych my body into producing yet MORE milk. I also found that filling sandwich bags with cold water from the fridge and stuffing them in your bra goes a long, long way in relief, but little in the way of self-esteem. Finally, I banged one of my breasts with the car door today. Then I died.

So, today has been a bad day. Besides, the normal "wear and tear" * of a vaginal delivery, I managed to do something to my left hip joint during the delivery, so I am limping. And I am dealing with the engorgement. Did I mention that I am losing more sleep over one of my distraught cats meowing all night long than from either my newborn NOR my teething toddler???? This is where one must grab tight onto Perspective and hold on for dear life. All these things are temporary, right? And we did have a bright spot - we had a doctor's appointment and it looks like we can officially call off Jaundice Watch 2007 - she's a great nurser, isn't too far down from her birth weight and all that nursing has produced enough stools to get the gunky bilirubin out of her system. And have I mentioned how sweet BOTH of my kids are right now? Both are so snuggly. So, yes - the nice thing about being a mother the 2nd time around is having some good Perspective. This too shall pass.

I just hope it passes soon.

* Did you see that I haven't lost my sense of humor? DID YOU SEE?

Boo on Gerber: Day 3, Day 4

2007-07-12T12:55:00.000-07:00

Um. Yeah. My milk came in. The awesome news is that Anjali is such a stellar nurser that engorgement hasn't been too bad. I haven't even had to pump because I can pop her right on when I get too uncomfortable. I am SO grateful she is a good nurser since we are on a jaundice watch - it's not too bad yet. But, I want her to eat as much as possible to help get the bilirubin out of her system (stools are the best way for newborns to move the junk out of their systems). I am definitely getting sore, but it's not agonizing or "toe-curling" as I used to call it with my son. We'll see, but I am hopeful that keeping consistent with a good latch will help somewhat.

Gerber Gunk
Okay. I tried the Gerber soothing gel pads and they SUCKED. HARD. I have only used 2 of them and am seriously contemplating pitching the remaining 6 and chalking them up to a loser purchase. They are very thin, they only last 4 hours a piece, and they crinkle oddly which means they show through a bra AND shirt. I can NOT recommend these pads - however, I do welcome any comments from anyone who has had a good experience, just in case it was a "personal issue" on my part. I can report that my lactation consultant shook her head when I told her my "grand plan" about giving Gerber a fair chance. She said Soothies are far superior and I have to agree with her. The cost comparison is criminal - an 8 pack of Gerber costs as much as a 2 pack of Soothies. However! To put it into a proper perspective, an entire package of Gerber will only last you about 16 hours and a pack of Soothies will last you at least 3 days (with proper care, I was able to push a few to 5 days the last time around on the Breastfeeding Wagon).

Hormonal!
This morning, as I was feeling my breasts to see how full they were, I had an overwhelming case of the shivers. I felt like I was going to shiver n' shake straight out of my skin AND my palms were burning as if hot needles were poking them. Because I've been through this before, I knew that I must have stimulated my breasts and hormones must have been released - it still unnerved me, but at least I knew it was normal. I also forgot to mention yesterday that while in the hospital, I had a terrible case of night sweats, also courtesy of El Hormones. I am trying to keep track of all these things because when they can happen, it can be a little scary if you don't realize straight away they are just hormones messing with you.

Uterine Contractions
In my last post, Leah made the comment that uterine contractions are important because they help to clean the uterus out AND they help the uterus contract back down to the original size. I wanted to point that out, because it should be noted that the uterine contractions are a GOOD thing. They just don't FEEL good!

Some snaps!

Very concerned that the "bee-bee" is crying

Bug-Eyed #1

Bug-Eyed #2

Little vampire.

Sleeping. Because, the SUN is still up.

Finally, I can get topical: Day 1 and 2

2007-07-11T12:53:00.000-07:00

Okay - Anjali is here. And I am officially breastfeeding. I can quit feeling like an imposter, eh?

Day 1:
I was supposed to be at the hospital by 7:15 pm to be induced. I ended up getting there by 6pm because labor had already started after all. She was born by 10:27 after some incredibly tense moments in which an ob for a c-section was summoned. I pushed and pushed for dear life and fortunately, she came without needing a c-section. I was able to breastfeed her straight away, the latch was NOT a good one, she mostly had nipple. Because of the position I was lying in on the bed, I simply could not "get to her" any better. The good news, is that from the very beginning, she's had a good, strong suck and LOVES nursing.

Day 2:
Since I am less sore, not drugged and in a regular bed (not a hospital bed), I am able to experiment with different positions. Far and away, the best is sitting "Indian style" on the bed with a nursing pillow and getting her latched on with football hold. Since I am more experienced this time and can determine myself whether she is properly latched on or not, I can report that it IS true -- if the baby is latched on correctly, there is SO much less pain. I am starting to get sore nipples, but I am not in agony like I was with my son and a proper latch is indeed, critical. However. Even though I am an "experienced" mother, it is still damned difficult to shove enough breast into a newborn's mouth! Their pieholes are just so teeny-tiny that it still takes me a few tries.

I will say that I had forgotten about 2 things - the uterine contractions spurred by breastfeeding are SO painful. Yep, they are necessary, but I had forgotten the pain. However, I'd also forgotten how incredibly sweet and awe-inspiring it is to see your newborn's eyes looking up at you as he/she is gulping away. She LOVES nursing, is anticipating it now and opens her mouth wide. Which helps with the latch, thank goodness.

Housekeeping Note:
This will be in a "Dear Diary" format. I'd like to do this for at least the first 2 weeks to try and document a realistic, real-time experiment with those early days of breastfeeding. All these entries will be under the "Dear Diary" category but I will still do other, separate posts for news and interesting articles.

No way. NO WAY.

2007-07-09T12:52:00.000-07:00

Apparently, my induction was scheduled for 7 PM which is significantly, completely and utterly different than AM.

Specifically, one is in the MORNING and the other is in the EVENING.

Now that I am done freaking out and we have figured out who is going to take care of Arun tonight and tomorrow because in other news, our plans for him fell through, I am doing okay. Actually, I'm lying.

I'm still totally freaked out.

I apologize for these departures from "breastfeeding", but it is difficult to wrap my head around the topic of breasts until I get this "birthin' part accomplished. Bear with me.

Lighter Fare

2007-07-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

I am getting induced bright n' early tomorrow morning. My son has already been informed that his contract for the position of Head Honcho is up for renegotiation and that his new terms aren't looking so hot.

Will return Wednesday - I will be taking copious notes on how the early days go with breastfeeding. Those entries will be in a category called "Dear Diary" and I am planning to do at least 2 straight weeks' worth, but would really like to do 3 weeks. In the meantime, let's end this on a lighter note, shall we?

Friday, 7/6/07 - Anjali's Due Date
With no baby imminently showing the whites of her eyes that night, I thought that I would splurge and get a vanilla malt. I love malts and HATE milkshakes - but I rarely get malts because they are what? A squillion calories or something? Anyway..... So, I go to Sheriden's then drive merrily on my way home. I pull into the garage, reach for the malt and it's not there. I realized with a slight horror what I had done. I had basically chucked a $20 bill at the kid in the drive-thru window at Sheriden's - then, I drove off. DUDE. I didn't even get my change, much less my malt. So, yeah. I sheepishly drove back to Sheriden's to retrieve my money and malt. Sadly, they were fresh out of Dignity and Pride.

I may not have birthed a baby on my due date Friday, but apparently I birthed my brain.

However. There's even more.

My husband was the IN THE CAR WITH ME THE ENTIRE TIME.

Innernets, I ask of you - - - What's HIS excuse??

Talk amongst yourself.

Should prescriptions be required for formula?

2007-07-06T12:49:00.000-07:00

Allison over at The Attached Mother has some great thoughts about the whole "should prescriptions be required for formula?" question. I agree with her that requiring a prescription would a little too "militant". And I love her recommendation that some sort of questionnaire be given to mothers to find out why they are quitting. This could go a long way in helping the breastfeeding community determine how we can best support breastfeeding mothers.

But requiring a prescription? I'd never support that. Make no mistake about it, I have no love at all for the companies that produce and market formula. I've made it no secret that their aggressive marketing tactics make me angry, particularly in 3rd countries. But I don't necessarily fault a mother for using formula. Yeah, I think formula is crap, but I'll admit it here in front of the world that my kid has had a McDonald's cheeseburger. Or two. Besides, if we start requiring prescriptions for formula, where else could that lead us? I know folks disagree with me for not having gates on my stairs and that weird molding crap on my fireplace hearth. Even co-sleeping is still a bit controversial and I've had more than one person get all squinty-eyed on me as if I was putting my child in mortal danger.

So, no. No prescriptions please.

The Pacifier

2007-07-05T12:48:00.000-07:00

GAWD. I'm already tired of me. I guess I thought I was more interesting or something.............

Pacifiers
When my son was born, I had it all planned. We'd use a pacifier for the 1st few months, then he could suck his thumb if he wanted. After all, this strategy had worked swell for my sister - why not me? What I didn't count on was the fact that my son would rather not suck on a hunk of plastic. He'd rather suck on me. And I didn't mind. We were co-sleeping anyway and whatever garnered us the most amount of sleep was the Official Plan going forward. The end.

Yeah, RIGHT. Okay, it wasn't actually THAT easy. He took a pacifier for the first few days, then I got paranoid about Nipple Confusion and took them away to wait for the recommended 3 weeks. THEN, he wouldn't take pacifier any longer and THEN, I went through a lot of pacifiers trying to find the One that would win over my son's heart. It was very hard to put him down for naps because he didn't have any mechanisms for self-comfort. Sure, he'd co-sleep at NIGHT, but naptime he wouldn't sleep with me, despite my best efforts. So, the first 10 months were HARD - nighttime sleep was a breeze, but naps were killing me. KILLING.... ME....... And not softly, either. I may have spent most nights sleeping peacefully, but the afternoons found me sobbing on my couch, stuffing my face with Choxie chocolates and lamenting my woes to my sister.

However.

The advantage is that my son DID eventually find ways to self-soothe. And we've never had to deal with weaning him for a pacifier or a thumb. Which leads me to think that I probably won't even try the pacifier with my daughter. Why bother if I can just suck it up?

Of course, I say that NOW.

Hobby Lobbing

2007-07-04T12:47:00.000-07:00

When I found out in early Feb of 2005 that I was pregnant with my son, I knew that some of my hobbies would probably have to bite the dust (at least for a few years). To be equitable, I laid off all of them and made them reapply for their old positions, with decreased benefits and lowered pay scales, of course.

Hobbies That Made the Cut
Reading - This was the first hobby to get re-hired. While I knew that I wouldn't be able to read as much as before, I knew that I could never completely give up reading. One of the great perks of co-sleeping in the early months, is that I would go to bed with my son around 8:30pm, then read for a few hours while he slept. I was probably one of the best read new mothers around because I was kicking back at least a book per week in those days.

Knitting - This was another hobby that I knew I couldn't give up entirely. Again, my knitting has waned quite a bit and I have to keep myself to simple projects that can be picked up/put down quite easily. What I miss most is taking knitting classes - I loved learning new techniques and meeting new people in classes. I also miss doing complicated projects, but it is too hard to knit with a toddler AND keep careful count of rows and stitches. So, hats, blankets and scarves it is, then.

Blogging - Oddly enough, I actually blog more now that I am a mother than before. Blogging is a very easy hobby for me because of the fact that it can easily be picked up/put down (are you detecting a theme here?). Also, the community aspect has been heightened for me as I have met more and more Blog Friends - some of which have become Real Life friends. I've always compared blogging to pen pals, with more instantaneous results - no buying stamps and no waiting for a response, eh?

Traveling - I love, love traveling. My favorite trips are the long weekends, with a focus on a particular city. I usually don't have extensive agendas, just a short list of "must-sees", then everything else is spontaneous. I traveled throughout my pregnancy with my son and I knew that I wouldn't want to stop traveling just because I had a kid, so I was very careful in my selections of stroller (A Combi City Savvy worked well for us) and baby carrier (our Baby Bjorn Active Carrier has seen many miles through airports). My #1 piece of travel advice with a kid is "less is actually more". I limit myself to one carry-on, for example. Not trudging loads of stuff around leaves me less stressed and I can focus on paying attention to my son. And for sure, breastfeeding is an advantage while traveling because you don't have to tote bottles, formula, etc. I've really enjoyed traveling with my son - we went on about 9-10 trips before I was grounded from traveling due to illness in my 2nd trimester. I am hoping to get back in the game this fall and have purchased the double version of the Combi City Savvy towards that end.

Hobbies That Were "Reassigned"
Raku - Raku is an ancient form of Japanese pottery. I can't say that I was particularly talented at it, but I did enjoy digging down in the clay and getting dirty. And I decorated a bit of my house for minimal cost. I still miss opening a brand new hunk of clay, cutting a thick wedge of it and rolling it - all while I try to imagine what it is I want to make. I wrote about how raku came to an end for me here on my personal site, Rancid Raves.

Communiversity Classes - In Kansas City, we have a community college thingie called Communiversity. I was pretty into it for awhile and took a wide variety of classes for total kicks - wreath making, water colors, basket weaving, baking, cooking, etc. I had so much fun taking classes and even discovered some great new hobbies - such as raku. I miss taking random classes for fun. It was a period of my life that I will always remember with fondness - learning new things and meeting new folks.

Television - Oh sure, I still watch TV, but I am watching FAR less of it and am now very picky about what I do watch. New shows get a 3 episode minimum and my standards are pretty high for keeping a show on the DVR's recording list.

Movies - This one? I do miss. I think I have seen ONE movie in the theatre since my son was born. ONE. The problem is not a matter of time, but rather that of priority. I have ample babysitting time - that's not an issue. The issue is that we have an awesome TV with surround sound - it's hard to justify burning precious, precious babysitting time sitting in a theatre for 2 hours, when I could be doing other things. Ironically, I think the last movie I saw in the theatre was Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Of course, I will be using precious, precious babysitting time for new movie coming out, because Hello! Harry!Potter! But, um, yeah.....yeah - my movie theatre habits are pretty pathetic since I've had a kid.

I know that someday, I will be able to pick back up some of these hobbies and there are even more hobbies for me waiting to be discovered. So, in the meantime, I will just hang out and wait for my old pal Free Time to come around again.

Roadtrip!

2007-07-03T12:46:00.000-07:00

I think I am going to devote the rest of this week to ME. Everyone is all about "the baby this" and "the baby that" these days. Dude, what about ME? One of the things about having a "topical" blog, is that I fear the folks reading this aren't getting to "know" me. Someone reading this site might think that all I do in my spare time is ponder the subject of breastfeeding. Don't get me wrong - I am enjoying this site and am excited by all that I have learned as I've researched the topic, etc. But, I do have other interests than breastfeeding. So, this week, I am going to write about some random-ish topics for the fun of it......

A Blog Friend from Denver is driving through Kansas City tomorrow and we are attempting to meet up. I have to admit, I am quite jealous of her roadtrip. I LOVE roadtrips. My parents started taking me on roadtrips before I can even remember - we always got up at the crack of dawn, just before the sun came up to get an early start. I live in Kansas City, but have roadtripped to Colorado several times, to Arizona and New Mexico several times, to Omaha and through Missouri COUNTLESS times, and even all the way to Kentucky and Tennessee. I've roadtripped FROM Chicago to here. Then, there are all the weird Fly-In Roadtrips - those roadtrips I've taken where I've flown in somewhere, then traveled around from the destination. I know New Hampshire like the back of my hand - my husband went to college there, so we have roadtripped the ENTIRE state several times now. And Vegas? I've roadtripped the entire area, except due west past Red Rock Canyon- I've driven to San Diego from Vegas AND I've even gone as far as Rachel, NV to get a gander at the infamous entrance to Area 51. Internationally? When I was in Pakistan, we flew into Islamabad and drove through the mountains up north, then back south and on into Peshawar. And those were just some of the FUN roadtrips and don't even include all the roadtrips I did for WORK when I was employed with Coopers and Lybrand, then later, Ernst and Young.

I love the beginning - the hopping in the car and facing the unknown. I love those eerie early morning hours when it's dark and there are few cars on the road. I love stopping in crappy little dives along the way for the worst food known to man. The food may suck, but the people are almost always interesting and the souvenirs deliciously tacky. Some of my happiest, silliest memories have happened in a car, in the middle of nowhere. Also, there is no better way to test a relationship by sitting in a car for extended periods of time. And I have found it doesn't matter if it is a friend, family or spouse! For sure, your relationship will be pushed to the brink and back.

I had really wanted to do a roadtrip this spring with Arun - he is slightly obsessed with animals right now and I thought going to the Omaha Zoo would have really been exciting for him. However, I was just too sick during my 2nd trimester and really didn't relish sitting in a car for 3 hours in my 3rd trimester. We will see how this new baby travels in the car, but I am pondering a roadtrip up there this fall. We'll see if I am adventurous enough.

Do you like roadtrips? What's your favorite part?

Confession

2007-07-02T12:45:00.000-07:00

There hasn't been much going on in the World of Breastfeeding lately. No breaking news. No controversies. No hot stories. In fact, my own breasts are just sitting around, not doing anything to provide much in the way of blog fodder. Losers.

I am 39 weeks pregnant with a due date looming this Friday. I am very tired, very uncomfortable, very normal, but I am VERY EXCITED. The beauty of a 2nd pregnancy is that I feel less anxious than I did with my first baby. This time around, I know I can hack this "new baby thing", it's just a matter of putting my nose to the grindstone and bearing it out until you come out of the rabbithold. I can't wait to hold a snuggly newborn on my chest. I can't wait until her hair is matted and sweaty in my neck. And to boot, my 20 month old son has just been utterly adorable these past few days, reminding me that I get to experience these delicious toddler days AGAIN. So life is good.

I finally finished packing my hospital bag over the weekend. I realize there are a few "first time" mothers reading this, so I thought I would post what I've packed. I remember reading in all the Wise Baby Tomes extensive, long, intimidating packing lists and I ended up packing some silly things that I didn't need. Also, I recommend keeping EMPTY space in your suitcase so that it will easier to pack up all the goodies the hospital sends home with you. I'm a cheapskate, so I took everything that wasn't nailed down.

The List:
2 pairs of sweats
2 shirts
1 bra
1 underwear
a robe
manual breastpump (since I just weaned in January, it is likely my milk will come in while I'm still in the hospital)
"going home" outfit for the baby
a few magazines
granola bars
a minimum of toiletries

In addition, I have a post-it note on my bathroom mirror reminding me to grab things such as the camera, brush, comb, etc - things that I can't pack straight away since I am using them.

You'll notice I've packed a bare minimum of clothing. Honestly, this birthin' business is a messy one, so I ended choosing not to risk soiling my OWN clothing and lounging around instead in the hospital-issued nightgown! To each her own, though so if you feel you would be wearing your own clothes, then definitely pack more clothing.

Just the facts, Ma'am.

2007-06-29T16:46:00.000-07:00

Angela over at Breastfeeding 1-2-3 posted some excellent information on exactly how breastfeeding can benefit employers - for example, her site reveals:

CIGNA’s corporate lactation program for employees who breastfeed, revealed a savings of $240 thousand annually in health care expenses for breastfeeding mothers and their children.

This information is based on an UCLA Study of the CIGNA corporate lactation program. Good reading! I love seeing cold, hard figures associated with something like this!

I wonder why employers aren't more invested in supporting their new mothers? I suspect there may be a bit of an attitude amongst employers that employees aren't going to stick around for the long-term, anyway. Particularly, with the way many folks go from job to job more easily these days (no judging! I was one of those employees who didn't hesitate to take better opportunities!) This is definitely the attitude with insurance companies, which is why they don't support preventative measures as often as you would think - their reasoning is that by the time something serious comes along, you won't be on their plan any longer anyway. Maybe it would help to clarify the short-term benefits of breastfeeding to employers? They get to see the benefits straight away!

[tags]breastfeeding, breastfeeding in the workplace[/tags]

Round Up

2007-06-28T16:46:00.000-07:00

A Vegan Lifestyle is NOT Necessarily Unhealthy for Babies
You may have heard about the couple in Atlanta who were convicted of starving their newborn daughter. Their defense was that they were vegan and that human breastmilk wasn't a valid part of the vegan diet. I do eat meat, but am respectful and knowledgeable enough of other lifestyles to realize that was the most ignorant statement I had ever heard. What disturbed me MOST is that folks who are NOT as knowledgable of other lifestyles would take such an ignorant statement to heart and think that ALL vegans think human breastmilk wasn't a good thing. This article sets the story straight - if you are not familiar with the vegan lifestyle, I highly recommend reading it. The parents recently convicted were NOT a good representation of what vegans stand for.

Wealthy Moms Breastfeed Longer?
This article is about findings that show that wealthy moms are able to breastfeed longer. While I question such a bold headline for a study that include such a small sample size (399 mothers total) in such a small location (Yolo County in CA), the findings were nonetheless interesting. I've always felt a little bad that overall, breastfeeding was easy for me - I stay at home so I was able to fully concentrate on the task at hand. Since I'm not going back to a working environment, I won't have to worry about ensuring I get enough breaks to pump, figure out a room where I can pump in, then find a suitable place to store it for the day. Furthermore, I just got done spending a hefty amount on Soothie gel pads that will go a LONG way in helping to relieve the early weeks of nipple pain. Not every mother can afford to do that. I am not sure what the answer is, but the article did get me to thinking.

Nice. Real NICE.

2007-06-27T16:45:00.000-07:00

Recently, in Germany there was a furor over a magazine cover that depicted Angela Merkel, the German Chancellor, breast-feeding the twin leaders of Poland, President Lech Kaczynski and the Prime Minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski. As the article puts it,

Evidently, the aim was to highlight Polish dependency on Germany and explain what the magazine sees as a climbdown by the twins, President Lech Kaczynski and the Prime Minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski.

Okay, politics aside, I was disturbed by the fact the an image of breastfeeding was used as a way of PUTTING DOWN the three leaders involved. How rude. How condescending. Need I go on?

Does Experience Count?

2007-06-26T16:44:00.000-07:00

Over the past months, when discussing the looming prospect of having TWO children to contend with, my husband confidently observes "At least this time, we know what to do." And thus far, I've managed to not laugh in his face. I decided to just let him keep smoking his pipe packed with whatever goodie it is that lets him think that we truly have it "all figured out". One advantage to a 2nd pregnancy, is that at least I have been less anxious. With my 1st pregnancy, I would lay awake late into the night pondering if I could do it and wondering what I had signed up for. Now, I know that yes - I can do this motherhood thing. It won't be easy in the beginning, but I'll just to put my nose to the grindstone and bear through. And while I won't have the answers, since I keep hearing children are human beings with different personalities (WTH? REALLY?), I do feel a little better knowing that with Kid #2, I am going in armed with ideas.

Regarding breastfeeding, there are a few things that make me feel a little easier about those first few weeks....

1. Potions- I know the Soothies gel pads work for me and have stocked up on them. But again, I don't know it all and even just recently, got the great advice from Leah to use the Soothies between breastfeeding sessions and to use the lanolin cream during the breastfeeding session.

2. Pump - I had NO clue how to use my pump. All the advice given was to wait to open the thing to see if you were actually going to breastfeed or not - then if you didn't, you could just return it. Sadly, I needed that damned thing desperately to relieve engorgement. 3am is NOT the time to figure it out. NOT THE TIME. So, the pump is freshly cleaned and already packed to take to the hospital. According to my lactation consultant, the chances are that my milk will come in while I am still there since I recently weaned and I want to be prepared.

3. Places - I had such a hard time breastfeeding in chairs - the arms always seemed to be in the way of the Boppy AND the baby. For me, nursing while sitting Indian style on a bed was the best place.

4. Positions - All those great breastfeeding pamphlets with nursing positions should be considered a "starting" point. For example, I had to totally experiment with the lying down position. For me, I couldn't get the hang of the traditionally demonstrated method.

5. Perspective - When you are a brand-spankin' new mother it is difficult to keep Perspective. I'll never forget in my early 20s watching a friend struggle with breastfeeding. With her FOURTH child. But, my friend was very calm about it and stated matter-of-factly that it was always like that in the very beginning. I've never forgotten that and it's been over 10 years ago. However, knowing that tidbit helped me immensely in soldiering forward - realizing that it was normal to struggle a bit made all the different.

So, no. I still don't have all the answers. The 5 Points above are merely the answers from my FIRST child. I suspect my second child will not only present new answers, but also new questions. And that's okay, too because otherwise, motherhood might get a little boring. And we wouldn't want that, now would we?

Breastfeeding during professional exams.

2007-06-23T16:44:00.000-07:00

Mama Knows Breast brought up an interesting article the other day. It's about what happened to Sophie Currier of Brookline, Massachusetts. In short, to begin her medical residency this fall, Dr. Currier needs to complete her medical exam boards by August - the exam is 9 hours long and allows for breaks that come to a grand total of 45 minutes. And she is currently breastfeeding her 7 week old baby. Can you see where this is going? The board insists that she will only be allowed the allotted 45 minutes and no extra time will be granted to her. Should I bother mentioning the hypocrisy of a group of DOCTOR'S denying this woman the right to express milk during her exam? Is that too obvious?

I read this article and it spoke to me on a personal level. I am a licensed CPA and sat through a day and half's worth of long grueling exams in the process. During your breaks, you barely got enough time to eat and use the bathroom, much less put together the equipment necessary for pumping breastmilk, then storing it. Furthermore, when my son was 7 weeks old, I could NOT go more than 3 hours at a time without nursing or pumping during the dayime hours. It was physically painful with the engorgement and hello! Can you say Leaking Leaky McLeakerson with me?

I called the CPA exam board this afternoon to ask about their policy for breastfeeding mothers and was told the following:
The exam has changed since I've taken it. It's now anywhere from 2.5 to 4.5 hours and 30 minutes must be allowed for signing in. No breaks are allowed. A breastfeeding mother would need to submit an "ADA Modification form" to be allowed any extra break time for pumping. This is still not nearly as bad as Dr. Currier's situation, but I was still unimpressed with the CPA exam board's answer to my inquiry.

Let's just say that I am grateful that I have the CPA exam under my belt.

Round Up

2007-06-21T16:43:00.000-07:00

Again, with The Moxie.
A reader today has asked Moxie about weaning during pregnancy - since I just discussed it yesterday, it seemed appropriate to include the link. The commenters are coming up with some good suggestions for weaning.

Make Breastmilk, Not War
An interesting article, War on Terror? More Like War on Breastfeeding, details a situation where a breastfeeding mother attempts to get breastmilk through security. She was traveling for work and did not have her baby with her, which complicated matters. On several fronts, all I can do is sigh.

Housekeeping Note
Apparently, I am having a baby. Shocking, yet true!

My due date is 7/6, but you know how these kids are - they come when they wanna. The latest my doctor will let me go is 7/13. I am going to do a "day-by-day" diary of at least the first two weeks of breastfeeding, although my goal is three. For me, by Week 3, I felt very comfortable and on board with the whole thing. The problem is that I don't think I will have an Internet connection at the hospital - it appears they don't have WiFi, although I could look into dial-up. But I haven't used dial-up since 2002 - does this laptop even have a modem? Landlines? Do those still exist? So, I am looking into it. Regardless, I will take copious notes and update here when I get home to keep the integrity of the "day-by-day" theme. When I go into labor, I will post here to ensure my absence isn't mysterious.

I have to confess, all this BoobTalk has made me excited about breastfeeding. Sure, I dread the first weeks of cracked nipples, but overall, it was such an incredible, empowering experience. I was very fascinated with my body during the entire pregnancy with my son - it absolutely amazed me how my body just "did it". All I had to do was eat right and take care of myself! Still, pregnancy was no comparison with how blown away I was by the breastfeeding experience. How it all comes together. How my son grew so much during 6 months based soley on what my breasts provided him. Amazing. I wish everyone could feel that way about it.

Breastfeeding During Pregnancy

2007-06-20T16:42:00.000-07:00

I came across this article about Breastfeeding During Pregnancy and thought it might be interesting to talk about. Have I already discussed this? Am I already starting to repeat myself?

Anyway..... I found out I was pregnant a few weeks after my son's 1st birthday (long story REAL short? Literally, my husband had returned from India the day of Arun's birthday. Happy Birthday, Arun!! Mama and Daddy know how to celebrate in STYLE.".... Um, yeah. ) I did not want to wean Arun right away and my doctor was very much of the opinion that I didn't have to. I did find out from a variety of folks' reaction (some subtle, some NOT so subtle) that there seems to be some sort of taboo about breastfeeding during pregnancy. That's fine, WHATEVER. I simply didn't want to yank Arun away from breastfeeding if I didn't need to. I have to be honest, though - nursing was VERY painful with the whole "breast tenderness" thing that goes in the early months of pregnancy. And I did have to be careful to eat healthy so that all three of us weren't deprived of anything. Eating healthy was a little more difficult than you'd think because when you are in throes of morning sickness, sometimes a big honkin' glass of milk isn't what you want to see. Know what I mean? But it was worth it. Arun weaned on a time schedule that worked for him and we had no issues with it.

I had planned on weaning Arun around 18 months - in April. For a variety of reasons, I didn't want to tandem nurse - I know many gals who have nursed 2 children at once successfully, but I knew it wasn't for me. Therefore, I wanted Arun to be weaned at least a few months before the baby was born so there wouldn't be any resentments when the baby took his place at the dinner table. When Arun was around 13 months, I began mixing up the nursing sessions and I started to break routines. We no longer used breastfeeding as a way of going to sleep or waking up. We went to Boston when he was 15 months and I think the trip threw both of us out of sync. I forgot to offer breastfeeding, he forgot to ask. On the flight home, I realized that this may be a better time to wean, if he was ready for it. So I nursed him one last time on that final flight to equalize his ear pressure. When we returned from the trip, I didn't offer it and gauged his reaction. He didn't ask for it. At all. I think I would have been more sad if I hadn't already known that I would be jumping right back on the Boobie Train this July. I should note that my doctor did say that one of her children she nursed during a pregnancy flat out complained about the "salty" taste. Your milk changes during pregnancy and if you do decide to nurse while pregnant, be prepared for disappointed reactions.

Okay - now the article. I am not confident that this is the best article I've ever seen on the topic of breastfeeding during pregnancy. I really, really didn't like the author's repeated use of "resort", as if you should only do it if given no other choice. I did want to point out the article, though because breastfeeding during pregnancy IS possible. I am very much of the opinion that no mother should feel forced to wean her child solely because she is pregnant. Weaning is difficult enough for mother and child, why make it harder?

This post is not what you think it is.

2007-06-19T16:41:00.000-07:00

Before I begin, let me state emphatically that I love and adore the site Ask Moxie. It's an awesome site chock full of sane, realistic parenting advice - all new mothers should read every single post of Moxie's about infant sleep habits (I have this one bookmarked at all times for easy reference - I wish I would have had this with my firstborn from the beginning). What attracts me most to her site is that hands down, Moxie has one of the greatest core of commenters out there. This is a site where I almost always take the time to read the comments if the topic applies to me.

Recently, two posts on her site have really got me thinking. I was really disappointed not in the posts themselves, but rather in some of the commenting going on. I am curious what all of you have to say.

In the first post, Are You Breastfeeding? a reader asks if he was wrong in asking a neighbor if she was breastfeeding her newborn. Another neighbor overheard the question and said “Your wife can ask that question but you as a man cannot.”

In the second post, "Are You Breastfeeding?" Response, Moxie follows up with some clearing up of the context of the question and asks if the previous commenters would change their answer. It turns out the guy knew the neighbor fairly well and had children himself. His breastfeeding question was posed more in a "commiserating" sort of tone.

What made me sad about many of the comments stating that "No, it's over the line to ask a new mother if she is breastfeeding" is that the comments ranged from Squeamish to Guilty. Here is my own comment to the second post:

I didn't get an answer in the first time because frankly, I had to "walk away" and think for awhile. Many of the comments just made me downright sad. Particularly, the ones that fell into the Squeamish or Guilt category.

There were many commenters who said they felt guilty for not being able to breastfeed and that's why the question bothered them. Then, there were many other commenters who were clearly skeeved by the idea of a man even asking about it.

Breastfeeding is only one of many questions that folks ask about new babies - I get all sorts of questions regarding diapers (cloth/disposable), sleeping (crib/co-sleeping), etc. Yes, many of these questions are tinged with Potential Judgment, but that's LIFE. There will always, always be someone lurking inthe corner waiting to point fingers and Judge.

Anyway, as a 37 week pregnant gal who will be breastfeeding again in a few weeks, my answer doesn't need context - I totally welcome any and all questions regarding breastfeeding. Until folks get more comfortable with the whole concept of a "baby sucking at one's breasts" we are going to continue reading news story after news story of women being kicked off of planes, asked to leave restaurants, kicked out of parks, pools and other public venues all because folks aren't "comfortable" with it. Again, not angry. Just sad. Very, very sad.

I think what is most disturbing is that it is very easy to dismiss most of the "anti-breastfeeding" commenters on other sites who are clearly uneducated and ignorant - I'm still shaking my head over the comments about Maggie Gyllenhaal and the mother in the Boca Raton restaurant. However, Moxie's site is different - these folks are clearly reasonable people and the overall tone of her site is moderation. In my experience, these are the normal folks we are encountering every day. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones talkin' and perhaps, I am over-reacting (something my husband can attest I am wont to do), but seriously.

Is asking a new mother if she is breastfeeding really out of line?

The Theme is the Meme, Redux

2007-06-18T16:40:00.000-07:00

Jackie at Kids Dish tagged me for the 7 Random Facts About Me Meme:

1. Once I start a collection of something, it drives me nuts until it is finished. Nancy Drew, I'm talking 'bout you!

2. I love high places and I usually ask for the highest floor possible when staying in a hotel. What I don't like is an elevator. Seriously. It's one of my recurring nightmares - different variations of being stuck in an elevator, being injured in an elevator and having it go up and down and up and down without letting me off.

3. I have a thing for sunflower seeds. I've been hooked on them since I was in 3rd grade. I am particular about the storage of them (freezer-only) and if they have been sitting out for even a day, I can't eat them because they are stale by then. I have a special bowl set for the seeds/shells. My very favorite thing to do during naptime is hunker down with a book and bowl of seeds. Currently, David's distributes the best quality, although sometimes I will still run across a bad bag of them.

4. I like washing dishes and cleaning my kitchen. I can't relax if the kitchen is dirty and I find the warm water and sudsy bubbles are soothing. Our dishwasher was broken for over 2 months and I finally made myself call the guy to get it fixed. It didn't bother me to wash dishes, but we may sell the house next year and the dishwasher will need to be fixed by then anyway. I still hand-wash quite a few dishes.

5. I love maps! I love just laying on my spare bedroom bed and gazing at the world map there trying to get the "lay of the land". I love it when I travel - arriving in a new city with map in hand, trying to figure my way around.

6. I usually read 2-3 books at a time. They are always from different genres so I usually have at least a few non-fiction going and one fiction.

7. I love to knit but not because it is artistic or creative. I am not good enough to come up with complicated patterns on my own. Rather, I call my knitting Productive Relaxation.

The Theme Is The Meme

2007-06-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

I've been tagged for a meme. I LOVE doing memes and steadfastly declare it to be the Rodney Dangerfield of blog fodder. Memes are deliciously egotistically. What's not to love about that?

Bryan at Sympathy Pain tagged me for the 5 Reasons I Love to Blog Meme:

Friends - I have made some incredible friends through the power of blogging. I've been blogging for nearly 3 years and over that time, I've shared my highs and lows with some incredible people. I've had several Blog Friends morph into Real Life friends.

Connection - I stay home full-time with my son. Granted, I am not actually AT HOME that often, but am in and out of the house all day. The blogosphere is a great way to stay connected with the "outside" world because it's interactive (keeping in mind, many of my Real Life friends blog as well). Sure, I keep up with the news via feeds and news sites, but keeping up with people is just as important. My friends and I are often busy scurrying about in our lives and may not have time to hop on the phone - blogs have proved invaluable for keeping in touch. I've heard many SAHMs say they feel isolated - I've never felt that way.

Reflection - Writing your thoughts and experiences down can be dicey. Once you have written and published, your words are out there and it's difficult to withdraw. Since I've been blogging, I have found myself having to face the fact that occasionally I am wrong (I know - scandalous!) However, I wholeheartedly believe this sort of reflection is good. In the short time I have been maintaining Nursing Your Kids, I have already had to really think about some of my previously held notions about such things as "weaning timelines" and "formula". Life is not static and I certainly don't want to be, either. Blogging provides for a great way to work some of those grey areas of life out in your head.

Inspiration - I read a ridiculous number of blogs. Between my Bloglines and Google Reader accounts I am reading easily over a 100 blogs. Blogs that make me laugh, cry, and shake my fist in my anger. But most importantly, they make me think.

You- In particular, for this Breastfeeding blog, the knowledge has flowed BOTH ways. I have learned an incredible amount from reading the news, reading publications and doing research. However, I've learned so much from all of you commenting - some great bits of advice and experience that I may not have considered before or read on a website. Thank you for commenting because I am learning as well. And I fully intended that to the point of this blog. I had the opportunity and the time to attend a breastfeeding support group for 13 months. However, many gals out there may not have that chance to do so - lack of resources or perhaps, they have to go back to work. I want to provide a space where everyone can come and freely offer their opinion without fear of recrimination. The more that we share our experiences, the more support we provide anyone happening upon this little neck of the woods.

Whether you are a Reader or Blogger - Why do you love blogs?

Goofy Gerber

2007-06-14T16:39:00.000-07:00

I posted about my calling Gerber for free product samples (it was advertised on their website). Not sure what to think because all I've received thus far are some lousy coupons. That's IT. Also, I noticed on the soothing gel pads I purchased that each pad is only good for FOUR hours - I did some comparison with the Playtex gels pads and they also only last four hours. Conversely, Soothies gel pads are good several DAYS (I could push them easily to 4-5 if I took care of them). Therefore, I don't think Gerber is going to be the money-saver I thought they would be. The breakdown, price-wise on the gel pads is this:
Gerber - 8 for 12.49
Playtex - 6 for 9.99
Soothies - 2 for 11.95

I am hesitant to plunk down any more money to get the Playtex as well - I am debating this. I will definitely be purchasing some Soothies and will definitely report back on product comparisons.

Again, let me stress - gels pad and lanolin are an "either/or" situation. You do NOT use them together. For me, the lanolin cream did NOT work, but the gel pads were a Godsend sent directly from His Truly from Above (or alternatively, my cousin, a lactation consultant. Your choice). I would recommend that any new mother not run out and stock up on supplies. Instead, I suggest using the free samples of lanolin the hospital will surely pass along and buying only one set of gels pads to start off with. Then, you can figure out what works for you before you go plunking down your kid's college fund.

Sidenote: If you don't end up using your lanolin cream, save the sample tubes! They can be used for convenient travel-sized tubes of diaper rash cream. Obviously, lanolin cream is WAY to expensive to use all the time for diaper rash, but it was so convenient to just tuck a small tube in my carry-on when you're out and about.

Product Placement

2007-06-13T16:38:00.000-07:00

Bravado Nursing Bras
I received an email about Bravado Designs for a 15% coupon. In short, enter the coupon code SUMMER15%-123 when checking out. It ends June 30th and I am definitely planning on using it. When I was pregnant with my son, I did the rounds at Target, Wal-Mart and Motherhood Maternity - I did buy bras at all 3 places in an effort to "save money". Ha. Frankly, I was disappointed in all 3 places - particularly, Motherhood Maternity who gave me incorrect advice. After my son was born, I went to the Mommy and Me store at a local hospital here and had a lactation consultant help me find new bras. I got one Leading Lady bra and two Bravado bras. I LOVE the Bravado bras and decided to go ahead and get a few more. 3 bras are probably just not enough now since I probably am not going to have time to do laundry as frequently as I did with my son.

Mama Wrappings
A blog I read has just opened an Etsy store selling breastfeeding-related gift bags - the store is called Mama Wrappings. What a sweet way to give a gift that doesn't include the ubiquitous bottle symbol. Nah, I didn't mind receiving gifts decorated with bottles, but it always struck me as odd since I knew I would be going the breastfeeding route.

Close 2 U, Baby
Another blog I read (and fellow BlogHer 06 attendee, I've actually met her!) has an Etsy store called Close 2 U, Baby selling baby slings, pouch slings, boppy covers and even accoutrements for dolls such as slings and quilts. Honestly, slings just did not work for my son. I had borrowed one from a friend, but quite simply, Arun was a "shoulder and chest" baby and did NOT like to be held in the cradle position. He always wanted to be upright so he could see the world. Therefore, the Bjorn worked best for us - I got many, many miles out the Bjorn. However, every baby is different and if my daughter is a Sling Baby, I will definitely be checking out Close 2 U, Baby.

Sad/Happy

2007-06-12T16:38:00.000-07:00

Sad
As I perused all the Breastfeeding Headlines today, they just made me sad and I couldn't muster up the energy to post about them or link to them. Most were about a variety of laws, world-wide being passed to protect a mother's right to nurse in public - Boston, Toronto, and the UK, for example. It's the same story over and over, just insert a new place, city or country. Sigh. I realize now that I must have been just incredibly lucky or was blissfully in ignorance when I was breastfeeding my son those 15 months. I traveled to so many places during that time without a problem and seriously, I must have been LUCKY. I was definitely not as aware of the all the controversies back then as I am now that I am writing this blog. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I am now afraid of being more paranoid while nursing my daughter. And that? Makes me sad.

Happy
I discussed my co-sleeping post with my doctor on Friday during my OB appointment (36 weeks, folks! Yee haw!) Regarding safety, she added the good point that women with long hair should keep it tied back while sleeping and to be aware of any long strings/ties on shirts and nightgowns. She has a friend with long hair who had a frightening situation when her hair became entangled around her baby's neck - her hair had to be cut, but everything ended up okay. We discussed co-sleeping in general and my doctor admitted that she thinks everyone should co-sleep. I guess all this talk of breastfeeding and co-sleeping are making me very excited about having a new, snuggly newborn. And that? Makes me happy.

Partnership

2007-06-11T16:37:00.000-07:00

Welcome, Carnival of Breastfeeding Readers! This month's carnival theme is dedicated to Fathers. The following is my submission - the other carnival participants are listed below it. Please feel free to share your own experiences in the comments or if you decide to write about it yourself on your own site, let me know in the comments, so I can check it out!

Partnership
In December of 2004, my husband and I decided to start trying to have a baby. By the end of January 2005, I was peeing on home pregnancy tests in disbelief. I'd been told for 9 years by my doctors that I might have trouble conceiving (some were downright negative about it), but per usual with fertility, you really don't know until you actually begin with The Trying. Therefore, we were overjoyed that it happened so easily, so quickly. Before our marriage, I suspected that Manoj would be a good father, but honestly - does a woman ever marry her husband thinking he would not be a good father? And I'll admit, I felt like I had an extra Parental Ace up my sleeve because Manoj is from India. In my experience, all the Indian fathers I know are totally into that "All Up In Their Kid's Business" stuff. For the most part, children are the center of everything when it comes to Indian families. I knew this when I married my husband and fully appreciate it now that we have a child together.

Manoj has never made me feel fat and pregnant, even when I AM fat and pregnant (um, how about right NOW?) He was all on board with the breastfeeding and never suggested giving up. We still chuckle over a very Tense Moment when I was nursing Arun on one side and he held the breast pump on the other side - I was so engorged it was a bit comical. He felt so bad for me in those early days and helplessly kept asking if there was anything he could do. He's never bemoaned the fact that my breasts have pretty much been "out of action" for Adult Activities for nearly two years now. He was the one who pushed co-sleeping, thought Ferber was a fool, refused to use our stroller and still carries our son everywhere instead (even through a 3 hour trek at the zoo). And he thinks weaning a baby at 12 Months Sharp is silly - if a kid needs more time, why push it? Manoj didn't even care that our kid wouldn't take a bottle and instead, when I was hanging out with friends he would bring Arun to me for nursing so that I could still get a little time away. It turns out, my fancy business-attired, Ferragamo-wearing husband is more Granola than I had given him credit.

Often, Manoj will take our son Arun for walks to our neighborhood park that is about 3-4 blocks away. I haven't been going much this year with them because that is pushing the limits of my 35 Weeks Pregnant Bladder, so generally I let them go on their own while I get some things done around the house. Last night, my bladder and I threw caution to the wind and we went with them. All along the walk, Manoj and Arun would stop to do a variety of activities that have become part of their routine - stopping for special trees, greeting certain dogs behind fences, pausing by a particular house that has a KU Jayhawk statue (folks, the hazing of my alma mater starts EARLY). I felt like I had been granted access into their secret, special time together and it was simply beautiful to witness it. And it was totally worth the mounting protest my bladder subjected me to on the way back during that last block and a half.

This year for Mother's day and Father's day, we decided to skip the flowers, ties and gifts in general. Instead, we are pooling the money we would have spent on gifts and are parlaying it into a Fancy Dinner with menu items that will have me running for the spell checker. It was actually my idea because this year, I wanted to celebrate this parental partnership we have created. It's not just about ME as a mother and HIM as a father.

In the end, it's about US and this little unit we've created together.

Be sure to check out the other cool bloggers writing about Fathers and their role in this Baby Business.......

Breastfeeding 1-2-3: A Father's Take on Breastfeeding Perception vs. Reality
Breastfeeding Mums: My Hubby, My Best Breastfeeding Friend!
Mama Knows Breast: Dads and Breastfeeding. My Husband, My Co-Author.
Motherwear Breastfeeding Blog: Proud to be the Father of a Breastfed Baby
The Lactivist: Fathers and Breastfeeding, The Importance of Seconds.

Guestbloggers:
Crunchy Domestic Goddess: My Hubby, the Lactivist
Hepatitis-EPI: A Father's Support
Down With the Kids: Mother's Milk - A Dad's Perspective

Co-Sleeping for $500, Alex

2007-06-08T16:36:00.000-07:00

What does co-sleeping have to do with breastfeeding? Frankly, co-sleeping can make breastfeeding easier. When you co-sleep, instead of having to get up, muddle around in the dark while fumbling for your newborn, all you have to do is roll over, nurse, then roll back over and go back to sleep. That's it. Seriously. After awhile, you'll actually sleep while nursing. Oh sure, you might have to do a diaper change in the wee, early weeks, but as times goes on, you don't even have to bother with that.

Truthfully, I was going to do loads of research for this one. I was going to present a compelling argumentative dictate replete with propositions, negatives and affirmatives. Then, my inner collective got all whiny on me and said "But, I don't wannna!", so I decided to go Commando on this. What follows is merely my opinion and in addition, I've added a new category called "Ranty Pants". I'm not an expert, nor do I play one online. What prompted all this is that I came across another poorly written article that slams co-sleeping.

Okay, I'm not a co-sleeping advocate, but rather, I am a huge, colossal believer in that Good Parenting consists of gathering as many ideas as possible, then trying them out in different combinations until you find out what works for you, your partner, your child, your lifestyle. This concept of Ideas hit me like a nuclear bomb very, very early in my new life as a mother. While pregnant, I had everything planned out. Dude, I even had TIMELINES for some things. Then my son was born and I realized very quickly that babies aren't necessarily One Size Fits All. I had it all planned out that my son would sleep in the bassinet by our bed for the first 4 months, then he would transition to the crib. End of story, right? What I didn't count on was a baby who wanted to be near me ALL OF THE TIME. Crazy boy! What was he thinking? I'd already housed him for over 9 months and now this?

Fortunately, my doctor has a crunchity heart of Granola and even told me in the hospital that "We Westerners are the weird ones - the rest of the world is co-sleeping". Furthermore, my husband is from India, a land chock full of co-sleepers. My husband was the one who insisted with exasperation "just bring him to bed already." Folks, that exasperation was directed towards me and I will forever be grateful that I married someone who parents by instinct and not by books. Once I embraced co-sleeping, all was right with our world. It made breastfeeding SO MUCH easier, it eased my worries as a new mother (there was no getting up in the middle of the night to check his breathing) and we both slept peacefully. Once, I got the knack for breastfeeding while lying down, I was rarely sleep-deprived (this was at about 3 weeks or so). Not being sleep-deprived went a long, long way towards my mental health, folks. Furthermore, my son has always been a hard, solid sleeper at night - even when he transitioned to the crib (naps are another issue entirely and still are to this day. I spent a lot of afternoons crying, eating chocolate the first 6 months of his life). The transition to the crib happened gradually and wasn't necessarily planned, either. I eventually got him to nap in there, then I started putting him in there at the beginning of the night, then one evening when he was around 13 months old, I woke up at 5am to realize he hadn't woken up yet (yes, I thought he was dead, snuck in his room and promptly woke him up). Once in awhile, he still co-sleeps if he is sick or out of sorts (think Christmas Mayhem). Because of our experiences with our son, we've already decided to just play it by ear with our daughter. We'll go the co-sleeping route with her and if it doesn't work out, only then will we plunk down the dineros to buy a crib.

Listen. Co-sleeping is not for everyone. It just so happened that I am the sort of sleeper who didn't mind having a baby in bed with me. For many months, I had to end my nights early and go to bed with him - I would read in bed while he slept. It worked for both of us and yes, sometimes it sucked going to bed by 8:30pm, but the advantage was that I didn't have to give up my beloved books, either. I was probably one of the best-read new mothers going around. Besides, it also follows my Idea of Parenting that most things in life are temporary - I knew I wouldn't always be going to bed by 9pm.

Okay, so I am not a huge co-sleeping advocate who thinks everyone should be co-sleeping. What really, really ticks me off about such articles as the one I just linked to is the fact that often, they use unfair scare tactics. And who is more scared than a new mother?????? Many articles will lump all sorts of infant deaths together which can lead one to believe that by merely co-sleeping, you are putting your child at risk. For example, the article states:

......of the 30 infant deaths in 2006 and the first months of 2007, twenty were caused by "co-sleeping" with adults or in other unsafe sleeping environments.

You have to read carefully to get the point that OTHER unsafe sleeping environments were in play as well. Why did they have to lump it all together? If I hadn't been too lazy to type in tons more HREF code, I could show you many more articles that do the same thing.

Okay, without a doubt, if you have a drug or alcohol problem you should NOT co-sleep with your baby. If you are obese, you should NOT co-sleep with your baby. If your bed is super, squishy soft and loaded with comforters and pillows and is situated so high off the ground that a Princess could sleep there (Pea or No Pea), then yes, you probably should NOT co-sleep with your baby. However, I think it's wrong that these articles use such scare tactics that could frighten new parents away from what could be a perfectly viable arrangement for them. If they are going to list "co-sleeping" as a cause of infant death, I think they should list the particulars that went along with the co-sleeping. Frankly, my husband was in disbelief the first time I asked if he had ever heard of a baby being rolled over onto by his parents. Disbelief. I think he used the words "that's crazy". Again, I'm not here to push a co-sleeping agenda, but I would encourage new mothers to not be afraid of including it in their big bag of Ideas.

She Strikes Again

2007-06-07T16:36:00.000-07:00

Awhile back, I had written about Maggie Gyllenhaal "getting caught" breastfeeding in public. At the time, there was a lot of discussion whether she meant to be photographed like that. After these recent photos emerged of her again baring it all with public breastfeeding, I think it's safe to say she knows exactly what she's doing. Bravo to her! Actresses get paid the Big Bucks to bare their breasts on film. Why shouldn't she be allowed to do it for free AND for a "good cause"?

Pour Some Sugar On Me

2007-06-05T16:35:00.000-07:00

In yesterday's comments, Celebrate Woo-Woo made the good point that corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup actually are different. As she says:

I would like to chime in that corn syrup is not the same as high fructose corn syrup. Corn syrup has not undergone the same processing and additions as high fructose corn syrup and is not the metabolism killer. Corn syrup is all glucose while high fructose corn syrup is mostly fructose, a little more than half usually. Fructose needs to be balanced with fiber as it is in fruits, but since it isn’t with HFCS, I think that’s where the body starts having issues with it.

She is right in that there is a difference between corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup and I appreciate her pointing that out. I found this piece that goes into the different types of sugars and here is how they broke it down:

Corn Syrup: Made from corn and composed mainly of glucose.

Fructose: A simple sugar found in fruits, honey, and root vegetables. It is used as a caloric sweetener, added to foods and beverages in the form of crystalline fructose (made from corn starch), and it makes up about half the sugar in sucrose or high fructose corn syrup (see below). Fructose does not elicit a glycemic response so it is sometimes used as a sweetener for foods intended for people with diabetes.

Galactose: A simple sugar found in milk products.

Glucose: The main source of energy for the body and the sugar produced when carbohydrates are digested or metabolized. Glucose is sometimes referred to as dextrose. Starch is comprised of long chains of glucose. Glucose make up exactly half of the sugar in sucrose and nearly half of the sugar in high fructose corn syrup.

High Fructose Corn Syrup: A mixture of glucose and fructose produced from corn. The most common form of high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) has 55 percent fructose and 45 percent glucose.

Lactose: The sugar found naturally in milk, it is composed of one galactose unit and one glucose unit; sometimes called milk sugar.

Maltose: A disaccharide composed of two glucose units. It is found in molasses and is used in fermentation.

Sucrose: Commonly referred to as table sugar, it is composed of one glucose unit and one fructose unit, bonded together.

I did a TON of research trying to find the different effects of these sugars. I found so much conflicting information - some said sugar isn't harmful, some said sugar will KILL you (okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but still). It was hard to pinpoint the different sources and agendas - one site CLEARLY had an agenda (the same site that said sugar won't hurt you AT ALL). I kept reading and reading and then my brain blew up. Bah.

I can say this - my husband is a diabetic and we know for a FACT that different sugars have very different effects on him since he's testing his blood sugar at least 6 times a day. For example, he can have a bit of honey with little effect. But tropical fruits totally whack his blood sugar out - his days of pineapple and oranges are OVER, y'all. I think gaining a little bit of knowledge and then taking the time to carefully gauge how you feel after consuming sugar can go a long, long way. I have a friend who is so sensitive to sugar, that she has pretty cut it out of her diet. After she consumes sugar, she is very cranky, moody and generally unhappy for several hours after. I generally don't have a sweet tooth, but this pregnancy has thrown me for a loop with my cravings for sweets. Perhaps this is why sugar has been so high on my radar lately.

Forumulaic Formula

2007-06-04T16:34:00.000-07:00

I have to admit, I am weary of reporting the news. And it's weird to be writing a breastfeeding blog when I am not quite breastfeeding yet. Then, I came across this article about formula companies promoting their products in the Philippines and I perked up. Sort of. Not really. The article points out that

"just 16% of children between four and five months old are exclusively breastfed. This is one of the lowest documented rates on earth, and it has fallen by a third since 1998. As 70% of Filipinos have inadequate access to clean water, the result is a public health disaster. Every year, according to the World Health Organization, some 16,000 Filipino children die as a result of "inappropriate feeding practices."

The article goes on to pinpoint some of the marketing tactics conducted by the formula companies and then goes on to say this:

"The U.S. embassy and the U.S. regional trade representative started lobbying the Philippines government. Then the chief executive of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce in Washington, D.C. - which represents 3 million businesses - wrote a letter to the president of the Philippines, Gloria Arroyo. The new rules, he claimed, would have "unintended negative consequences for investors' confidence". The country's reputation "as a stable and viable destination for investment is at risk". Four days later, the supreme court reversed its decision and imposed the restraining order PHAP had requested. It remains in force today. The government is currently unable to prevent companies from breaking the international code."

The article horrified and left me slightly depressed. I try SO hard to be open about formula and to not be judgmental. Then, I see companies pushing formula in countries where much of the population doesn't even have consistent access to a safe water supply. Frankly, my Pollyanna Veneer is wearing thin the more and more I see these sorts of articles. Of course, it's not unusual for Western companies to move their marketing tactics to developing nations when their Western consumers smarten up (Totally Tangential: Cigarette and cosmetic companies come to mind. Unilever, the maker of Dove products, has made a killing with their "real beauty" campaign in the US, yet they market skin lightening creams in India and South East Asia. Apparently, "real beauty" is defined as "white skin".) And yes -- the irony, of course, is that a group of breastfeeding mothers just recently broke the Guinness World Record for simultaneous breastfeeding.

Then, THEN, I read this bit about CORN SYRUP in formula. What the HELL? I received some free cans of formula when my son was born and I shoved them into a cabinet - I had intentions of donating them, but got lazy. I pulled them down this morning and started reading the ingredients:
1. The can of Enfamil milk-based formula has lactose listed as the 2nd ingredient, followed by a myriad of unpronounceable items including palm and coconut oils.
2. The can of Similac soy formula has corn syrup solids listed as the FIRST ingredient and also includes palm and coconut oils.
3. The can of Similac milk-based formula also has lactose listed as the 2nd ingredient, followed by a myriad of unpronounceable items including palm and coconut oils

Okay. I am not a health nut. And with this pregnancy, we've eaten far too much fast food because I'm just trying to get by - my end date for what I refer to as "Meals of Shame" is August 1, 2007 (I just want to get through the pregnancy and the first month of breastfeeding/sleep deprivation). However, when I shop at the grocery store, I'm fairly persnickety about reading labels and do try to avoid the bad oils (anything hydrogenated and most definitely palm and coconut) in addition to the corn syrup. Frankly, there's some crapola in those cans of formula that I wouldn't feel good about my toddler consuming, much less my newborn. And no, this isn't about judging parents. This is about judging the formula companies who are obviously putting these powders together to achieve as long as a shelf life as possible. The expiration dates of the Similac cans are early 2008 and the Enfamil expires this summer --- yet I received these cans in October of 2005. The corn syrup solids are particularly worrisome in light of all the research that shows corn syrup can mess with your metabolism.

At this point, I am at a loss for words for any sort of conclusion.

Fairness

2007-06-03T16:34:00.000-07:00

I came across this "letter to the editor" about the WIC program. It's written by a WIC coordinator in response to an editorial piece she felt was unfair to the program. She does mention the program's efforts to support women while pregnant and while breastfeeding. I felt it only fair to include the link since I had discussed the program previously.

Also, I was emailing with a reader over the weekend, she will be having her first baby this summer and I feel a bit sheepish. Why? I realized that I often talk about how hard the first few weeks of breastfeeding were for me. I was afraid that perhaps by referring to those first few weeks of breastfeeding in such a negative light, that I am unnecessarily scaring new mothers. It's a fine line between being honest to help one emotionally steel oneself and just plain being negative. Yep, the first few weeks of breastfeeding ARE hard, but to be fair, the first few weeks of MOTHERHOOD are hard. Unfortunately, it's nearly impossible to separate the two so there's no point in determining "who's zooming who??". If breastfeeding were the only thing a new mother had to worry about, maybe breastfeeding would be a piece of cake!

With the 2nd time around looming ahead for me, it's actually sorta nice. I do know without a trace of doubt that no matter how hard it might be, it is totally, completely, and utterly worth it - even if this time is more difficult. I would be heartbroken if it turned out I couldn't breastfeed my daughter. I don't think formula is poison per se, but it was a HUGE relief to me that my son never had a drop of it. It was one less thing to worry about. And all those hours of sitting with him and nursing are precious hours that I will always cherish. Also, I love to travel and as a breastfeeding mother, I appreciated not having to cart bottles and such when we went on trips (my carry-on item was usually ONE bag - that's all I ever needed!) Once he got past the newborn stage, running errands was a cinch - I just always made sure the diaper bag with diapers and a small blanket was in the trunk. The past 8 months or so, I rarely carry more than my son and my small clutch purse around. And speaking of diaper bags, since I don't have to worry about bottles and sippy cups (my son uses straws), I don't need tons of complicated pockets and compartments. It allowed me to get a nice, leather black Coach tote to use as a diaper bag, instead (Coach outlets totally rock, BTW. So do birthdays. Ahem.) It's a bag that I will be able to still use long, long after my kids are out of diapers. For someone like me who adores a nice handbag, it's a little perk that I definitely appreciate because my first diaper bag was chipping away at my soul.

So, yes. The first few weeks of breastfeeding can be rough - I think it does a huge disservice to new mothers to pretend otherwise. But, those first few weeks can also be awe-inspiring. I remember being so relieved that my body stepped up to the plate when needed. I remember being so amazed in those early weeks that my body was providing the sole sustenance for my son. It was crazy to me that when my son was 6 months old and such a little chubby, roly-poly thing that my body was totally responsible for that! And I remember those first initial latch-ons in the first few days before my nipples mounted a rising protest.

Words fail me at how natural it all felt.

Round Up

2007-06-02T16:33:00.000-07:00

Mothering Magazine Goes Digital
As subscriber to the print edition of Mothering Magazine, I was just given a special offer to receive the digital edition (6 issues/1 year) for all of $5. It seems wasteful to receive it online AND in hardcopy, so if you are interested in receiving the online edition, give me a holler at cagey333ATgmailDOTcom (per the email I received, the offer expires this Thursday, so don't dawdle!) Yep, the offer says I can pass the code to a friend, so whoever emails me first with interest is officially my friend.

Breastfeeding Mother Given Parking Ticket
This article details how a mother was given a parking ticket for parking in a restricted zone while breastfeeding her baby. The mother is quoted as saying

"As I'm breastfeeding and therefore my son is fed on demand, I need to stop right away. I feel with the government both locally and nationally trying to encourage mums to breastfeed that it was unfair of the man not to take that into account or even bother to ask me to move or give me a few minutes to feed my child."

There is some discrepancy in the story because the mother is also claiming a parking attendant said she could park there (although, that contradicts her actual quote, if you read carefully.) Okay, if that was truly the case the parking attendant said she could park there, then maybe she has a leg to stand on. But, she can't expect to park in a restricted zone just because her kid is hungry. That's crazy talk! Sure, it IS stressful when your child is hungry and you are driving. Listen, my parents live a good, solid 45 minutes away from me. Furthermore, I live in a large, spread-out metro area where I can easily be 30-45 minutes away running simple errands. So yes - I've done that routine of having to pull over and find a spot to nurse. It's not fun. But, I never expected to be given special permission to just park anywhere I wanted.

Malta Airport Opens Mothering Room
Hooray! An airport thinks ahead and opens a mothering room. Sure, I doubt I'll ever need a mothering room in MALTA, but maybe other airports will start to take notice. I don't mind hunkering down in a waiting area and nursing my kid - there are NO other choices so I'm not going to dwell on it. But, it would be nice to see a trend. I'm still more than a little horrified that the actress Amanda Peet had to pump in an airport bathroom. I personally make it a strict policy to touch as little as possible in an airport bathroom as it is, so my heart went out to her that she had to pump in one. Yikes.

Work sought for 'Art of Breastfeeding' open show
Do you know any budding artists in Oregon? This art show is looking for artists of all ages to creates pieces celebrating the art of breastfeeding. Very cool!

Screening Sunscreens

2007-05-31T16:27:00.000-07:00

This is a little off-topic because unless you are sunbathing in the South of France, your breasts are probably pretty safe. However, I came across this excellent article on choosing a sunscreen and I couldn't resist posting it. It is concise, informative and non-promotional. What I appreciated was a simple, clear explanation of which ingredients one should look for in a sunscreen - including the varying properties of each and which types may be skin irritants. Furthermore, the article even goes on to discuss which lifestyles may need more/less/which type of sunscreen and it does recommend some brands.

Tips for Not Tipping the Scales

2007-05-30T16:27:00.000-07:00

Thus far, I've gained about 13 lbs and I'm 34 weeks along. At this point, I'm on track to keep my weight gain to around 20 lbs. (she says as she thoughtfully munches her cranberry nut muffin.....) I've purposely tried to keep my gain to a reasonable amount simply because I was already overweight before I began all this baby makin' business. June 21st this year, I will celebrate my 7th Smoke Free Year. Quitting the cigs was simply one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life and therefore, I don't regret the 20 lb weight gain from that. Actually, I've realized that weight has no bearing on my overall happiness because the past 2 years have been my heaviest AND my happiness. However, I would still like to lose that weight eventually and that's why I've tried not to overindulge with the food during my two pregnancies. After I had my son, I lost the 22 lbs I gained with him within 3 weeks and I do credit breastfeeding for that. I went on to lose another 8 lbs down the line - again, I credit breastfeeding and a more active lifestyle now that I stay home full-time.

This article has some useful suggestions for shedding post-pregnancy pounds. I'm not putting loads of pressure on myself to shed the weight as quickly as I did with my son - I will just try to eat responsibly and allow myself a few treats. However, I have given myself an end date for all the indulgences I've been allowing myself during this pregnancy.

September 1st - that's the end of innocence around these here parts. Whole Foods cinnamon rolls and Coca-Cola, you're on notice!

Follow Up

2007-05-29T16:25:00.000-07:00

Toys While Nursing
Previously, I had mentioned a tip that my doctor gave me where she recommended putting together a few baskets of toys for my son play with while I am breastfeeding my daughter. Several commenters also added the great suggestion that reading books to my son while nursing is another great idea. And I agree! I LOVE that idea because it includes him. On a weird, odd, note, I had a similar experience with my cats - they quickly figured out that when I was nursing, I wasn't going anywhere. Frequently, I had at least one cat by my side while nursing and it ended up being a great way to give them some attention. I think by "including" them it made them less resentful of my son when he was born. To date, we've had absolutely no issues with them and they have been very accepting of my son and his "gentle" petting.

Bras
With this pregnancy, I am carrying my daughter pretty high and it appears my ribcage has expanded a bit. Which means my bras no longer fit quite right. I was going to buy some new bras anyway to "treat" myself (ha!), but am hesitant to run just now to buy some - what if my ribcage goes back to normal or not all the way? When I started this blog, I had grandiose ideas that I would go perusing again at Wal-Mart, Target and Motherhood and then provide detailed reviews. However, I just couldn't get my heart into it. Frankly, my experience with those three places the last time was very, very bad and it was NOT worth saving a few bucks to get cheap bras there - I ended up throwing out about $50 worth of bras and instead, buying some Bravado bras at Shawnee Mission Medical Center's Mommy and Me store. I want to continue with the Bravado line because they makes such great nursing bras, but am hesitant to plunk over money until I know for sure what my size will be. However, my bras are "cutting" into my ribcage NOW. Bah humbug.

Toxic Toxins are Toxic.

2007-05-28T16:25:00.000-07:00

This article lists 5 ways to reduce the toxins in your body (and your breast milk). I'm still more than a little fascinated that I found this in a Dental Health site. What the hell?

Anyway, the 5 ways are fairly straightforward:

1. Eat organic.

2. Drink more water.

3. Eat liver-healthy foods. (This one was really good information - I don't often think of my poor little liver except after a hard night o' boozing. They recommend eatings such foods as broccoli, cauliflower, brussels sprouts, eggs, garlic, onion, peppers, citrus fruits, fish, whole grains, vegetables and green tea.)

4. Aid detoxification through the digestive tract. (They suggest lots of water and fiber. Makes me crave a bean burrito with some guacamole. Margaritas have water in them, right?)

5. Aid detoxification through the skin. (They point out that tears and sweat are great ways to get rid of toxins. AWESOME. The next time I have a good cry, I'm going to tell my husband that I am "in detox".)

If it's for Free, it's for Me!

2007-05-25T16:22:00.000-07:00

I have previously mentioned my undying love and gratitude for Soothies. My one complaint is the ridiculous cost of them - I've had to pay $11 for a pack of 2. They only last 3-5 days (depending how carefully you treat them and store them when not in use.) so if you need them for 2-3 weeks (like I did), then you are looking at some hefty costs. Today, I decided to start stocking my bag for the hospital and I went to Wal-Mart to see if they had Soothies. While there, I discovered that Gerber makes soothing gel pads, too. Of course, maybe Gerber had always been making them, but I was in such a daze with my son that I did not have the time nor the inclination to comparison shop. So, in the process of looking at the Gerber site to provide a link for this post, I noticed a little verbiage that included the word "free" and "sample". Two of the very sweetest words in the English language. So, I called the number (1-800-4-GERBER) and got set up for some free samples to be delivered. I called at 10pm CDT and was shocked to get an answer. The CSR was super-friendly and my free samples are on their way. Also, I will still buy some Soothies so I can provide a product comparison and additionally, I'm looking into some other soothing gel pads. I will be sure to report back on this when the time actually comes for me to slapping those suckers on my sore tatas! I'd like to provide a nice Benefit vs. Cost analysis.

Have a great weekend and BE SAFE.

Pump and Dump.

2007-05-24T16:21:00.000-07:00

I am finally catching up on my DVR backlog and just watched a recent episode of "Notes from the Underbelly". I am not crazy about this show, but it's nice to have a light, silly sitcom on the roster. I'll admit, part of the fun is mentally poking fun at the crazy misinformation this show dispenses. The episode I watched was the one where the 3 gals are going to go out and party - it was the new mom, the pregnant mom and the single gal. The new mom is concerned about leaving her newborn and the pregnant gal says "oh, you can just pump and dump so you'll be fine." While I doubt new mothers everywhere are depending on this silly sitcom as a reliable source for breastfeeding information, the line only served to further the myth that you must pump and dump when you've been drinking. Sure, if you get so smashed that you can't breastfeed for half a day, you might want to pump and dump as not to interrupt your supply and to relieve any engorgement, but pumping and dumping doesn't rid your system of the alcohol more quickly. Of course, I think I loathe the "You can't drink AT ALL" myth even worse. I like a nice glass of wine (a light Oregon Pinot Noir, pleaseohplease) or a Boulevard Wheat Beer with a slice of lemon in it. I'll freely admit it and I think it's sad when folks are so hard lined about clamping down on it. (Don't get me started on how my doctor thinks Americans are puritanical when it comes to alcohol even during pregnancy and that realistically, a glass of wine enjoyed over dinner isn't going to harm the baby.)

Anyway, Kelly Mom, per usual, has some great information on consuming alcohol while breastfeeding. I remember just after I had given birth to my son, one of my hardcore La Leche League friends was adamant that I could enjoy my glass of wine. As she put it "breastfeeding doesn't need to be ridiculously restrictive on you." And she's right.

Deported

2007-05-23T16:21:00.000-07:00

First, I'd like to encourage you to read the comments from yesterday's post WIC-Friend or Foe? The comments highlighted some very important points about the problems with folks abusing the WIC system. Another commenter pointed out that many of the areas within the WIC program DO provide breastpumps and do encourage breastfeeding. I grew up in two very small Kansas towns and yes, I've seen abuses of the program as well. Overall, I have very conflicted, yet cynical feelings about most such programs because often there is little incentive for someone to enable themselves once they start getting benefits. In particular it is difficult when living on government assistance becomes a multi-generational situation and the result is that the 2nd generation doesn't really know any different kind of life. I wasn't sure I wanted to bring that up in my original post, but yes, I've seen clear cases myself where the program has been abused and where clearly some women are just along for the free ride and the government cheese.

Okay - today's article --- it's stories such as this one in the Guardian that burn me. Seriously. Basically, what happened is that a breastfeeding Ugandan mother in the UK is being detained separately from her children (a 4 week old and a one year old, respectively). We've had some similar issues in our own country as well with separating deportees who are breastfeeding their children - what complicates this UK case is that there appears to have been some mental issues with the mother. While I understand that detainees and children maybe can't be kept together, I think it is unconscionable that a breastfeeding mother wouldn't be allowed access to even a breast pump in order to keep her milk supply going for when she is reunited with her child. Despicable.

WIC - Friend or Foe?

2007-05-22T16:20:00.000-07:00

First, I'd like to point out that I loved, LOVED my hospital. I had a great experience there, the room was comfy, it had all sorts of amenities (stereo, whirlpool, etc) and the bed was a queen sized REGULAR bed. I just didn't care for the food so much. I discovered just mere hours before checking out that there was a "pantry" stocked full of yogurts, cookies, and all sorts of goodies. I had sent my husband back there for milk, but he neglected to tell me about all the goodies. Lesson learned and I will definitely be venturing there this next time around.

Second, I realize I am covering a lot of news and articles around here. When I signed up to do this, I was a bit worried that I haven't actually started breastfeeding again yet - what the heck would I talk about?? So far, I've had plenty to talk about, but I hope folks don't think that I will just be posting news and articles all the time. After Anjali is born, my goal is to do a 2-3 week Daily BoobLog to document those first few weeks and then from there, my breasts can take center stage (sorta). I've noticed even with my son, that I already have the tendency to say "oh, the first few weeks were a hard, but then it was a piece of cake!" I'd like to document exactly just how hard it can be - my hope is that if a new mom comes across this site, she can see some realistic breastfeeding experiences and not feel so alone if she doesn't have a support group, close friend or family member that she can turn to. I did have a support group, close friend and family member to turn to, so this is my small way to try and pay it forward.

Okay, moving on to today's article. I am a little shocked by audacity of this one where the author states that WIC funding for formula should be ended. I sorta see their premise on a high level. But. BUT. It could be argued that breastfeeding for working mothers is a privilege (my understanding is that a lot of WIC mothers ARE working, but are financially strapped). First, you need to have a job that is conducive to pumping - many lower paying jobs (I'm thinking retail and production line) would not be conducive to pumping. Every gal I've known who has pumped at work has had a difficult time fitting it into their schedule - professionals and non-professionals alike. I can't imagine how much harder it would be for a lower level worker to push the pumping issue, particularly if they feel their job is insecure anyway. Second, the equipment needed for pumping is often expensive. I bought a cheap electric pump myself and it did not go well with the expressing because the pump was crap. Yes, I realize that overall, formula would be more expensive than pumping, but when a gal is already strapped for cash, she may be hesitant to fork over the big bucks for a pump when she's not sure how long she will even get to breastfeed. I am not financially struggling, but was hesitant myself to pay even the $50 for an electric pump at a time when I wasn't even sure how it was going to go yet. I did buy the pump, but I had the luxury to take that gamble. So, I can't say that I would support a measure that would take formula out of the WIC program. However, I would totally support something within the WIC program that allowed coupons/stipends towards breastfeeding paraphernalia - say, towards a pump, nursing pads, etc..

Now I'm hungry.

2007-05-20T16:19:00.000-07:00

Updated to Add: Eek. In my rush to get this out, I realize I didn't really emphasize what I was getting at. I do think the lists can be helpful when there is a problem with a fussy baby and that yes, the lists can assist a mother in narrowing down what the problems might be in her diet. I just hate it when they make it sound like ALL babies are bothered by spicy foods, etc. And for sure, I have yet to see a list include Greek food or gyros which most definitely made my kid squirmy all night long, although I confess, I still partook in a yummy gryros every now and then. Gulp.

When I was in the hospital with Arun, I starved. The hospital food wasn't bad per se, but it mostly consisted of a piece of meat, a potato, some sort of boiled side veggie and it certainly wasn't spicy. It didn't help that I was there for such a short time that by the time I filled out the "menu" card and it got processed, it was time for me to leave anyway. For whatever Fool Head Reason, I turned down all of my husband's kind offers for bringing me food - a mistake I will NOT be repeating the next time around, believeyoume. The day I went home with our son, I craved something spicy so bad it physically hurt and we picked up some Thai takeout on our way home. Sure, I saw a brief question mark hovering over that Styrofoam takeout container because all the Wise Baby Tomes tell you to avoid spicy food while breastfeeding. However, I quickly brought myself back to reality as I pondered, “What the hell do women eat in Thailand?”, then I promptly dug in and stuffed myself to the gills. And that, my friends, set the standard for what I ate while my son was breastfeeding. If something obviously bothered him, I cut it from the menu - otherwise, it stayed. We cook mostly South Indian at home and primarily other varieties of ethnic when we go out. Sure, we do pizza and some other "American" standards, but primarily, we eat exotic. Which probably explains why my 19 month old is pretty damned close to our level of spicy eating and doesn't even flinch when presented with a jalapeño on a sandwich.

Regarding "foods to avoid while breastfeeding", I found this article interesting. Actually, I find most of these types of articles chuckle-worthy because often they are presented as a "complete list". Furthermore, I've seen loads of new moms take them to heart and then kick it up a notch- I knew a gal who didn't eat peanuts the entire time she breastfed because if her son got a peanut allergy, "she would never forgive herself". I'm definitely not saying the lists aren't helpful, but I think they should be presented as a " keep in mind" sort of thing.

As it turned out, my son was most bothered by milk, soft cheeses and Greek gryo meat (Bonus Sidenote: It's properly pronounced "yee-ro"). Oh and these days, he calls Pad Thai noodles "pye-pye" and weeps when I put them in the microwave for reheating. Poetic.

Can't Resist

2007-05-19T16:14:00.000-07:00

Okay. I've been resisting this story all week long. The story regarding the British Breastfeeding Mayor - yeah, that one. All week long, a variety of stories have been offered to us. Basically, the former mayor of Trafford gave birth 2 months before she accepted the office.The stories started out by saying that she was simply not allowed to breastfeed in the mayor's "official" car that is provided by the city to take her to official engagement (articles such as this one - or variations on that one where folks merely complained.) This story is portraying the situation in a different light - one in which attendants basically did not want to take care of the baby and/or be seen as nannies. And this story is providing even more details - such as, she wanted to take her baby with her everywhere for the first 6 months of his life, even to a Palace garden party. Wow.

At this point, it is difficult to even tell what is really going on, but I will say this - if she was truly thinking she could just take her kid with her and have official mayoral attendants take care of her baby, then yeah, that's just wrong. I will continue to keep an eye on this story, though because I find it fascinating how the details keep changing!

My Ann Landers Moment

2007-05-18T16:13:00.000-07:00

I’ve received my first question! Since I don’t consider myself a breastfeeding expert by any means, I hadn’t really anticipated doing an “advice/answer” section to this site. However, I absolutely welcome questions and will gladly do all the “hoofing around” to get the answer for you. When answers come from a specific source, site or book, I will definitely reference them. When answers emerge from my own personal gray matter, I will certainly make that clear as well by starting off with a trusty “IMHO” (roughly translated as “in my humble opinion” – which truthfully, isn’t all that humble as I am pretty opinionated.)

Alicia asks:
If a mother is pumping primarily to increase her supply, why does she need to wait an hour after her baby has nursed? Wouldn’t it be better to just pump immediately after the baby has breastfed? If you pump right after nursing would your body make more per nursing session or if you were to pump an hour afterwards would your body make more overall?

My Answer:
Great question! I quickly discovered the advice concerning the whole "pumping to increase your supply" issue garners a wide variety of answers which can be very confusing. First, I thought it was interesting to understand how milk is produced and Kelly Mom provides a great explanation of the process. Kelly Mom goes on to recommend that in order to increase production, the mother needs to nurse more frequently AND she should empty the breast as thoroughly as possible. Kelly Mom suggests waiting awhile after the nursing session before pumping and frankly, most of the sites I came across recommended this as well. That's the answer, right? Ha. I went on searching and found TONS more answers. The Nursing Mom site said "You can also try pumping after you nurse to increase milk supply" which I found to be pretty vague and it didn't give a specific timeline. Also, the Health Touch site said "......Pump for 10 minutes right after you finish breastfeeding once you have a let-down.......". I also found the Breastfeed-Essentials site which said "You also may want to add a few extra minutes (5-10) of pumping after the baby has finished nursing."

Frankly, it seems that a mother would need to experiment a little to find the best pumping scenario for increasing her supply - the best scenario for her, that is.

Symbols are Symbolic for a Reason

2007-05-16T16:11:00.000-07:00

Since I am a suburbanite desperately seeking Crunchity Granola’d Enlightenment, I like to read Mothering Magazine. Awhile back, I read an excellent article on how images of bottlefeeding and bottles are prevalent in our mainstream collective – media, entertainment, – hell’s bells….. even down to baby gift wrapping paper. After reading that article, I became increasingly aware of how bottles are always shown as THE method for feeding a baby, but rarely, RARELY is breastfeeding shown. I was mildly shocked and impressed a few weeks back when Notes From the Underbelly, a network show, showed a woman breastfeeding (The Sopranos has shown breastfeeding on HBO, but seriously – did anyone even notice amidst all the footage set within the Bada Bing anyway??) What saddens me is that in my son’s myriad of books, not one single image of breastfeeding is shown. I always just skip over the baby bottles because he doesn’t know what that is for – he would rarely take one and even then, only under duress of starving. Even on Sesame Street, the venerable classic of children’s television programming, I have yet to see any breastfeeding. Why?

Anyway, I can’t find that Mothering article now, but within the article there was a call to the public to come up with a logo for breastfeeding. I recently ran across the winning logo of the contest and seriously – that symbol is AWESOME.

Randomly Specific

2007-05-15T16:09:00.000-07:00

Water
Breastfeeding 1-2-3 has an excellent post on water consumption! For example, I didn't know that if you consume too much water it can actually decrease your supply. I remember being CRAZY thirsty in the first few months and definitely believe in the "drink to thirst" methodology. My first few months found me dragging water wherever I went and part of my nighttime routine included carefully putting together a pitcher of ice water for during the night.

Testimonial
I came across this Australian site that has gathered some personal experiences surrounding breastfeeding. The site includes interviews of 49 women and 2 men. I haven't gotten to dig around it much, but can't wait to read it. I am working on a little project of my own where I want to interview a variety of women from across the decades starting with my grandma who breastfed in the mid 1940s and probably ending with my step-mom who nursed in the mid 1980s. I am compiling my interview questions now and if there is anything in particular that any of you would like me to ask, let me know!

Random Unsolicited Advice
I love, LOVE my doctor. I don't always agree with her, but I always take her opinion into serious advisement before making decisions (I'm talking general babycare/lifestyle advice here). I've been concerned about my son being jealous while I am nursing my daughter and asked her a good way to handle that. I've seen that a new mother nursing her child can create a hot spot for the older child because he/she knows that "mom is busy" and now is a good time to act up while her hands are full. My doctor's advice was to have a basket of special toys for the older child that are only brought out while nursing. What an excellent idea coming from a mother of 4, tightly spaced children! I'm due in 8 weeks, so over the next few weeks, I am going to put together a few small baskets of some new toys and will mix in some old ones so we don't break the budget. I thought I'd pass that idea along because I am not sure I would have come up with that one on my own in my current weakened mental state that I refer to as "pregnancy brain".

Crunchy

2007-05-14T16:08:00.000-07:00

While this is not specifically related to breastfeeding, it IS related to lifestyle and nutrition. I guess it could be argued that you need a positive lifestyle with good nutrition to foster healthy breastfeeding, eh? Therefore, when I saw the site, Healthy Child, Healthy World, I got pretty excited. In addition to this article about toxins and breastfeeding by Isabel Kallman of Alphamom, there are also loads of great tips for nutrition and living green in this site. Anyway, I can't claim to be Granola, rather I probably fall in category of Wannabe. I still enjoyed this site - check it out!

Randomly Specific

2007-05-10T15:58:00.000-07:00

1. Remedies
The main purpose of the previous post was to just point out different solutions. I know so many gals that used lanolin and it worked for them, but I also know so many gals for whom lanolin did not work. I've also heard that skin tone can made a big, big difference (i.e. fair, light-skinned gals may have a harder time initially). My primary complaint is that I wish the gel pads were offered on par with lanolin. I just came across a poll that listed "best gifts for nursing mothers" and gel pads weren't even an option. I will be curious if I get cracked nipples this time around now that I will be going with Soothies from the very beginning - I'll definitely report back!

2. Support groups
I came across this article about a group of local women in Canada who have banded together to provide even phone support for new mothers. The article brought tears to my eyes, but perhaps that was merely the pregnancy hormones kicking into high gear. When I was a new mother, I knew I was very fortunate to have such a good support group at my hospital AND my sister on speed dial (#5, Home Phone and #9, Cell Phone!). Since I was so grateful for the superb support that I received, I made an extra effort to continue attending the support group at my hospital long after I really needed it. I am hoping to be able to do so again this time around and am even trying to get a day school slot for my son on the day the group meets so that I won't be dragging a 20 month old around all those newborns (new moms are a nervous bunch and sometimes don't appreciate a toddler's "gentle" touch to their baby's oh-so-precious soft spot. I don't blame them, either!). I think it is undisputed that La Leche League is unparalleled in what they have achieved in promoting breastfeeding and supporting new mothers. However, many mothers are very intimidated by the group and are hesitant to attend meetings. Yes, this is sad and I think some of the radical reputation attributed to LLL is unfounded and undeserved. Regardless, it remains a fact that many new mothers aren't attending LLL meetings and in that vein, I get excited whenever I see alternative options for new mothers.

3. Massachusetts Gets a Clue?
I was very excited to see that Massachusetts is mulling a breastfeeding law! This is personal to me, actually. My husband started a new business a few months ago and for a variety of reasons it is currently based out of the Boston area. If this new business takes off, there is a very likely possibility that we will move to that area next year. Anyway, my breastfeeding experiences in Boston have all been positive, but it would still be nice to see a law out there.

4. Not Quite Sure I Want to Celebrate THIS Celebrity
I saw this bit from Larry the Cable Guy and he is discussing his take on his son's apparent unappreciative nature towards breastfeeding. It IS funny and I do think the Blue Collar Comedy Tour guys are pretty entertaining. Still....

Remedies

2007-05-09T15:57:00.000-07:00

As much as the next person, I love, LOVE investing in pretty, smelly bottles of overpriced crèmes, lotions and “remedies” for any perceived ailment I might have. (Currently, I am going through a “bodywash” phase and have a variety of them in my shower. They represent a United Nations of Prices ranging from Philosophy to Neutrogena to Evelyn/Crabtree to a Target store brand. Gulp.)

Anyway, one of the very first things I learned in breastfeeding is that it pays to experiment. Lanolin crème is pushed onto all new mothers and like the sheep I am, I dutifully applied it. Unfortunately, it did not help me in the least. Fortunately, I had my secret weapon in that one of my cousins is a lactation consultant. For my baby shower, she had given me a “breastfeeding care package” loaded with all sorts of goodies. I vaguely remembered seeing a package of Soothies, and tossing them aside with casual interest because I didn’t know what they were for. A week into Breastfeeding Hell, I was digging through the care package looking for something. I came across the Soothies, read the description and a light bulb came on. I slapped those suckers on and never looked back. In short, Soothies saved me, whereas lanolin provided little relief. The secret to the Soothies and lanolin concept is that this is an Either/Or situation. You do NOT use them together - you have to make a choice and go with one OR the other. All was not lost, though, in the realm of All Things Lanolin. For the first several weeks when taking a shower, I did use the Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser, which is lanolin based, on my chest area to minimize exposure to fragrance or anything that might be irritating.

In the vein of "alternatives", I did read with interest this study in the International Breastfeeding Journal of using peppermint water in lieu of expressed breast milk to help prevent nipple cracking (peppermint water is used by breastfeeding mothers in Iran). Normally, peppermint is associated with being an irritant if applied topically, so I was curious about this. I will definitely keep an eye out for more results on this.

(Totally Tangential: All the free samples of lanolin crème I received did not go to waste – lanolin is an EXCELLENT diaper rash prevention. I used the tubes for travel sizes for my diaper bag. Unfortunately, lanolin is WAY too expensive to actually purchase for regular use. While I’m on topic, Cetaphil Gentle Cleanser is another great diaper rash prevention. A tip I received from my sister, she recommended putting it on after each diaper change. No, you don’t rinse it, you leave it on and it forms a thin, non-greasy, non-smelly protective layer. I’ve used it on my son since he was born with excellent results.)